


New Choices-Old Regrets

by alphagirl007 (kayandkimsmom1)



Series: Better Late Than Never Series [3]
Category: Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/F, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 63,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8926483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayandkimsmom1/pseuds/alphagirl007
Summary: Alex and Olivia deal with old issues that threaten their new happy home.  Serena's budding relationship is tested when someone from the past makes an unexpected return.  Will they make the right choices or fall victim to the past?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story picks up after the events of “Better Late Than Never” and “In The Meantime”. You really need to read those stories first to really understand this. This is still an A/O story but it was always meant to be a Serena centered story. Just thought I’d mention that so you’d know before reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The original characters of Law & Order SVU and Law & Order belong to Dick Wolfe and NBC. I own nothing and gain nothing. 
> 
> A/N: I know I’m really late finally getting this posted. This story has been posted on LiveJournal for years. Someone asked for the third part to the series so here it is.

**Chapter One**  
  
The early morning rays streamed through the blinds causing Olivia's eyes to flutter open.  She shut them tightly trying to escape the intruding bright light.  Once adjusted to the glowing room, Olivia stared at the ceiling before glancing over at the vision that always struck her speechless.  There snuggled close to her body was Alexandra Cabot.  That was enough to bring a smile to anyone's face.  Waking up next to Alex was something that Olivia was sure she'd never get used to.  It had been well over a year since they had first shared a bed, yet seeing her this morning felt like the very first time.  
  
Just like every morning, Olivia took the time to just watch Alex as she lay completely unguarded.  This was the Alex Cabot that very few people ever saw...the Alex she adored the most.  Her golden mane was sprayed carelessly across the pillow and part of her face...lips pouty and slightly open.  Olivia smiled at the soft sound that could have been misinterpreted as snoring.  Of course, Alex would deny to anyone that she snores. Olivia giggled as Alex's voice rang out in her head.    _"Alexandra Cabot does not snore."_     
  
Alex shifted and mumbled in her sleep, instantly tightening her hold on Olivia.  The action was so cute that Olivia couldn't resist touching her.  She reached over gently brushing the hair from her face following with a soft kiss to the forehead.  This time when Alex shifted, she opened her eyes meeting the brown pair staring back at her.  
  
"G’morning."  Alex mumbled.  
  
Olivia smiled back leaning over for a kiss.  "Good morning beautiful."  
  
Alex stretched languidly while rubbing her eyes.  "Were you watching me again?"  This wasn't the first time Alex had awakened to find her lover simply gazing her.  She found the act so endearing.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Enjoying the view?"  
  
"Always Counselor. Always."  
  
Alex moved back onto Olivia's shoulder, snuggling into the crook of her neck.  She took a deep breath inhaling the scent of Olivia.  There was something about the scent of her detective that Alex found comforting.  She slipped her leg over Olivia's to move even closer.  Painfully aware of the naked body now pressed up against her, Olivia's thoughts drifted back to their passionate lovemaking the night before.  Things had gotten rather intense, which would explain the soreness she felt in places long forgotten.    
  
"What time is it?"  Alex asked.  
  
"Um...."  Olivia craned her neck back taking a quick glance at the alarm clock.  "Almost nine."  
  
Alex tensed and opened her eyes.  "Nine?  Aren't you late for work?"  
  
"I would be if I were going in today. So.... I'd say I'm right on time."  
  
"You took the day off?"  Alex raised her head and asked in disbelief.  Olivia almost never took a day off.  "Why?  Is something wrong?"  She was immediately concerned.  
  
"No.  Everything is fine, sweetie.  I told Cap that I was taking a personal day because we....as in you and I... had something very important to do today."  
  
Alex sat up and peered down at Olivia slightly confused.  "And what is this important thing we have to do today?"  
  
Olivia smiled and shamelessly admired Alex's naked upper body.  Alex smirked and posed playfully making Olivia laugh.  
  
"I can't believe you don't know why I took the day off.  You've been nagging me about it for weeks, not to mention threatening bodily harm." 

 

When Alex just looked at her, Olivia laughed.  "Today is the first day of December.  We're going to pick out a Christmas tree and do all that other nauseatingly happy stuff that other couples do for the holidays."  
  
A smile bright enough to light up half of New York City emerged across the blonde's face.  She squealed in delight.    
  
"Yes!  This is going to be so much fun!"  
  
Before Olivia could say another word, Alex had jumped out of bed spouting off all the different things they could do today.  Olivia pulled herself up in bed and watched with amusement.  Apparently, Alex had forgotten that she was completely naked which pleased Olivia a great deal.  It was indeed a spectacular sight to see ADA Alexandra Cabot naked from head to toe.  Olivia felt that familiar fluttering in her stomach.  
  
"Well first we have to go pick out the tree.  Then we need to go out and buy new ornaments and ribbons to decorate it."  Alex was pacing back and forth drumming each statement off on her fingers as if she were presenting evidence to a jury.  The thought of Alex naked in front of a jury made Olivia smile even wider.   _That would be one hell of a closing argument._  
  
"I still have some of my old ornaments still packed away, but to be honest, I'd rather get new ones.  We could buy them together and that way they will be.... ours... together.   Then...."  
  
"Alex..... Alex?"  Olivia tried but there was no interrupting the blonde's ranting when she got going.  
  
"I think we should definitely get a tree that's at least ten feet tall.  Don't you?  It would look gorgeous in front of that large window in the living room.  Of course, we'll need....."  
  
After failing to get her attention vocally, Olivia fell back on the one trick that she knew always worked.  She crawled out of bed, grabbed Alex and kissed her.  Once Olivia felt that she had the blonde's attention, she pulled back.  She smiled when she saw Alex still had her eyes closed.  She pulled her back into their warm bed.  
  
"This is what I was thinking.  We could go out and get a tree around noon.  After that, head over to the stores and pick up everything else that we'll need.  We could get a few presents out of the way and spend the rest of the day decorating this place.  What do you think?"  
  
Alex blinked.  Olivia had thought this through.  "That should work, but...what are we going to do until noon?  Why not just go now?"  
  
Olivia just grinned.  As smart as Alex was, she could really be clueless at times.  She rolled Alex over and pinned her down.  She peered down at her with a smirk on her face.    
  
"Surely that big brain of yours can figure out what we're going to do until noon."  She said slid her hand down between Alex's thighs and nibbled along her neck.  
  
Alex gasped and shivered all over.  "Oh!... Now, I think I'm getting the idea."  
  
"I always knew you were smarter than you looked."  
  
"Oh, you're so going to pay for that, Detective."  
  
Olivia smiled and bit down on her neck.  Alex moaned.  "That's what I'm hoping for."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**  
  
Dr. Pearce Delong walked into her office and flopped down on the sofa.  She glanced at her watch.  It was well after one in the afternoon which meant that she'd been working for nearly forty-eight hours.  The only rest she'd gotten had been a nap here or there in one of the on-call rooms between patients.  Pearce pulled the stethoscope from around her neck and placed it on the table.  After a briefly debating going down to the cafeteria to grab some lunch, the doctor decided to rest instead.  Lying back on the sofa, she draped her arm over her eyes and let her mind drift.  It didn't take long for her thoughts to drift to a certain blonde.  An involuntary smile graced the edges of her tired features.  The smile quickly diminished when she realized that she hadn't seen the object of her affections in nearly a week and hadn't heard her voice in over two days.  
  
"Serena...."  She sighed letting the name flow softly from her lips.  
  
"You rang?"  
  
Pearce lifted her head.  She saw Serena standing in the doorway in an extremely fetching black suit with a rather short skirt, holding two bags in her hands.  Pearce blinked sure that sleep deprivation and wishful thinking was causing her to see things.  
  
"Serena?"  
  
"I'm glad you remembered.  I was beginning to think that you'd forgotten all about me."  
  
Serena walked in kicking the door shut with her foot.  She placed the bags on the table before taking a seat next to Pearce.  
  
Pearce lifted herself up on her elbows and stared at the sparkling blue eyes before her.  She sighed as she felt Serena run a gentle hand run through her hair.  The doctor had learned over the last couple of months that this was something that Serena enjoyed doing.  Serena leaned down and kissed her softly.  
  
"Now how could I ever forget you?"  Pearce smiled.  "And not that I'm complaining....but what on earth are you doing here?"  
  
"The defendant in my case agreed to a deal which meant no court for me today. I had a block of free time.  So I figured if I wanted to see you at all this week my best bet would be to come down here.  And I'm quite certain that in my absence you've resorted back to your poor eating habits."  
  
"Are you questioning my ability to eat properly?"  
  
"Have you eaten a proper meal at all since the last time I saw you?"  Serena challenged.  
  
Pearce opened her mouth to speak, but Serena held up a finger.  
  
"And before you answer that remember that stale coffee and potato chips is not a proper meal."  
  
"How do you know that I've even had that?"  
  
Serena raised a brow and Pearce laughed.  "Okay, so you're right about the coffee and chips.  But I did have a bagel and a slice of pizza yesterday."  
  
Serena shook her head.  "Pearce, you really have to take better care of yourself.  You should know this.  You're a doctor."  
  
"Maybe I need someone to take care of me for a change.  You know anybody up for the job?"  Pearce grinned dimples and all.  
  
_God, she is so adorable._ "I'm here aren't I?"  
  
She gave Pearce a quick peck on the lips before pulling her upright.  "Now come on.  I brought us lunch and I'd like to spend a little time with my girlfriend before she gets called away to save lives again."  
  
Pearce sat up and stared at Serena.  She had a goofy grin on her face.  Serena frowned.  "What?"  
  
Pearce shrugged her shoulders.  "Nothing, it’s just…you...you called me your girlfriend."  
  
"Did I?"    _Shit!  
_  
Pearce nodded.  "You've never called me that before."  
  
Serena got a little nervous.  The last thing she wanted to do was scare Pearce off.  She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and busied herself with removing their lunch.    
  
"I uh.... I guess I just never thought about it.  I mean... I don't have to call you that if you don't want. I mean....I just thought..."  
  
Pearce placed a hand over Serena's stopping her fidgeting.  She leaned in and kissed her fully on the lips.  "I like the idea of being your girlfriend.  I like it a lot actually."  
  
Serena blushed slightly.  "Good because I like having you as a girlfriend."  
  
"Even if my hours keep me here for days at a time?"  
  
Serena played with the soft fingers tangled with her own.  "Pearce, I knew you had a demanding job when we started dating.  Besides, I work long hours too and you've never once complained."  
  
"Probably because I'm working at the same time."  They both laughed softly.  
  
"I think it has more to do with you being one of the most patient and understanding people I've ever met."  
  
Pearce rolled her eyes playfully.  "Maybe I was just putting on an act to get into your knickers."  
  
Serena laughed at Pearce's comment.  She wondered if Pearce was even aware of her accent.  Serena found it so charming.  No matter how silly the comment, her British accent made it sound almost regal.  
  
"Were you?"  Serena raised a brow.  
  
Pearce shook her head.  "Nah.  You're much too smart to fall for something like that."  
  
"Good answer, Doc."  
  
The next hour was spent just sitting together eating their lunches chatting about what had been going on in each other's worlds in the past week.  Pearce was exhausted, but she didn't care.  She wanted to soak up every moment with the blonde.  It was so nice to have someone to talk about things with, even though most of the time she listened to Serena.  She liked to hear about her cases; her wins and losses.  She told herself that she was going to make time to actually see the attorney in action one day.  Serena glanced over and realized that Pearce was just staring at her.  
  
"Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"  Pearce said twirling a few golden strands around her fingers.  
  
"Once or twice."  
  
"Is that all?  I should probably do something about that then."  She moved closer and placed a soft kiss to the side of her neck.  "I think you're absolutely gorgeous."  She leaned in and gave Serena a long lingering kiss.  
  
Serena pulled back slightly out of breath.  "How did you get so damn charming?"  
  
"What can I say?  It's a family secret."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Mmhmm...." Pearce was leaning in to kiss Serena again when her pager went off.  "You have got to be bloody kidding me!"  She griped.  She looked up at Serena with regretful eyes.  She was about to speak when Serena put a finger to her lips.  
  
"Shh....don't say it.  I know you'd rather be here with me, but you have to go.  I understand that."  
  
Pearce smiled sadly.  "I should ask you how you got so damn understanding."  
  
Serena shrugged.  "Family secret."  
  
Pearce looked at her for a moment as if she wanted to say something.   "Serena, I.....I..."   _Just say it, you idiot! Tell her you love her!  
_  
Serena noticed the pause.  "You what?"  
  
"I uh... My shift is over around six.  Barring any emergencies, I should be done her for the evening. If you're not too busy, I'd like to see you."  
  
"I'd love to see you later.  I have some paperwork back at the office, but I should be finished by then."  
  
"Great.  I could give you a call when I'm done.  If you're still at the office, I could swing by and pick you up.  We could go to dinner or something."  
  
"Sounds good to me.  I guess I'll see you later then."  
  
"I promise that I will do my best to try and make it much sooner than later, Serena."  
  
A quick peck on the cheek and Pearce was off.  Serena watched the door close behind her.    
  
_God, you have no idea what you do to me doctor._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**  
  
  
"So is there a reason I've been given the job of putting the lights on the tree?  I'm surprised you didn't hire someone to do this for us."  Olivia said struggling with the bundle of lights she'd unwound.  
  
"First of all, I do not hire people to do mundane tasks, Olivia.  And secondly, you were given the job because you said and I quote,  _Putting the lights on will be a breeze...any moron could do it._ Alex smirked.  "Are you implying that you're incapable of performing at a moron's level, Detective?"  
  
Olivia looked up with an agitated look on her face.  "Watch it, Cabot."  
  
"I'm just restating the facts."  
  
"Why do you have to be such a lawyer all the time?"  Olivia whined.  
  
"You weren't complaining last night when this lawyer was playing interrogation with you.  If I recall correctly, you enjoyed my lawyering skills quite a bit.  Should I remind you how many times you called me..."  
  
"Alright...Alright. You've made your point."  Olivia's blush made Alex laugh.  It always surprised her how someone as sexually adventurous as Olivia could become so bashful when it came to talking about their sex life.  
  
"You're just going to sit there and watch me struggle with these?"    
  
"I offered to help, Liv but you yelled at me remember?  My feelings are still hurt by the way."  Alex pretended to pout.  
  
"Yeah right.  This coming from the original Ice Maiden."  
  
Just as Olivia made the comment, she got tangled in the lights again and lost her balance.  Alex fell into a fit of laughter as she watched her lover ungracefully tumble to the floor.  
  
"I can't believe you're laughing at me!  I could have hurt myself."  Olivia grumbled.  
  
Alex tried to control her laughter but failed miserably.  "It serves you right for being mean to me.  And by the way, it is Ice Queen to you thank you very much."  
  
"Excuse me Your Highness..."  She struggled to free herself from the lights.   "But could the Ice Queen get her frozen ass over here and help me up?"  
  
The doorbell rang and Alex grinned at the distraction.  "Sorry sweetie.  I should get that first."  
  
Alex breezed past a rather grumpy Olivia and answered the door.  When she saw Elliot standing on the other side, her once amused expression changed immediately.  Elliot held up his hands in defense.  
  
"Don't worry, Counselor.  I'm not here to spoil your day.  I just need to have a word.  I would've called, but I was just down the block so I took a chance that you two would be home."  
  
Alex eyed him skeptically as she allowed him inside.  "Okay, but it's our day off and I'd like to keep it that way, Detective."  
  
"Fine by me."  He followed her inside where he saw a disturbing yet amusing sight.  He saw his partner on the floor in what looked like a losing battle with Christmas lights.  He stifled his laugh.  "Uh... are you okay there, Liv?"  
  
Olivia grimaced when she saw him.  She could see the amusement on his face.   _Great, yet another thing that I will never live down._ She finally managed to get free of the lights and stood.    
  
"I'm fine, Elliot.  Thanks for asking.  Alex, on the other hand, has turned into Martha Stewart on speed."  
  
Elliot laughed.  "It's nice to see that you're in the holiday spirit, partner.  You really should have called me though.  I could have given you some advice on the lights."  
  
"Yeah well it didn't look like it was going to be  _that_ difficult."  She ignored the soft giggling coming from Alex's direction.  
  
Elliot looked around at all the decorations.  "Wow!  You guys have been busy.  It looks like an elf farted in here."  
  
"I never knew you were so eloquent, Detective." Alex quipped.  
  
Elliot shrugged his shoulders.  "I try."  
  
"Alex is in the Christmas spirit and she's dragging me along for the torture."    
  
Alex narrowed her eyes.  "Need I remind you that you took the day off so you could join me?"  
  
"Like I had a choice... You would have made me pay for it for the next year if I hadn't."  
  
"Whiner"    
  
"Fascist" Olivia shot back with a chuckle.  
  
Elliot smiled at his partner's playful interaction with Alex.  Olivia was a totally different person when she was home with Alex.  He liked seeing this side of her.  She was more carefree and lighthearted and he knew that Alex was the reason.  No matter what professional run-ins that he and Alex had, she made his partner happy and he had to respect her for that.  
  
Alex punched Olivia in the arm.  "I am not a fascist!"  
  
"Oww!  Did you see that, El?  That was domestic violence.  I think I should press charges.  I think the world should know that the infamous Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot is really an abusive spouse."  
  
Elliot held up both hands and backed up.  "Oh no.  I'm not getting in the middle of that.  I live in a house full of women.  I know better."  
  
"Anyway..."  Alex shook her head and changed the subject.  "You said that you needed a word, Detective.  This is work related, I assume."  
  
"Sorry, but I thought you'd like to know that we might have a solid lead on the Johnson case.  We've found a link between Sarah Johnson, Victoria Davis, and the four previous victims."  
  
Olivia immediately perked up.  They had been working on this case for weeks with no solid leads in sight.  It had become hard to sleep at night knowing there was a serial rapist and killer still walking the streets.  
  
"What's the link?"  
  
"They all lived on the upper East side, right?" Olivia nodded already aware of this information.  "Well, I did some checking and found out that they all used the same security company to install systems in their homes.  Then something came to me.  Stacie Colbert... remember her?"  
  
"Yeah...about eighteen.  Nice girl."  
  
"Her attack... the guy's MO is all the same as these attacks."  
  
"You think she was attacked by the same guy?"  
  
Elliot shrugged.  "It's possible that he committed a line of rapes before then stopped for a while to not draw attention to himself or throw us off.  Do you remember her ever mentioning anything about having a security system installed?"  
  
Olivia frowned.  It had been a few years since she had thought of the case.  She could usually spout off information from old cases with no problem, but today she was drawing a blank.  
  
"I can't say for sure.  I remember we had our eye on the older boyfriend because he found out that she had cheated on him.  I'd have to go back over my notes to be certain of anything else."  
  
Elliot looked at Alex.  "What do you think, Counselor?"  
  
Alex pursed her lips.  "You think it might be someone that works for the security company?"  
  
"If the perp worked for that company or installed those systems, it would have given him access to all of them."  
  
"I think you might be on to something.  If you can find the man connected to all these women...you might have a viable suspect.  But we're going to need more than just a link to the security company.  That could easily be explained.  New York is a big city and everyone needs a security system.  You need physical evidence to tie him to these rapes."  
  
Elliot had expected the attorney's response.  Cabot was a hell of an attorney because she demanded indisputable evidence to back up her cases.    
  
"Well, I guess I'd better get started then.  I'll call you if we turn up anything."  He added turning to leave.  
  
"El, wait..."  Olivia looked at Alex with pleading eyes.  Alex already knew what she was thinking.  
  
"Go on."  Alex sighed and gave her a weak smile.  "I'll finish putting the lights on the tree for you."  
  
"Liv, it’s your day off.  You don't have to..."  Elliot started.  
  
"Give me five minutes to change and I'll come down with you."  Olivia said already heading towards the bedroom.  She paused just long enough to give Alex a quick peck on the cheek.  "I'll make it up to you, babe.  I promise."  
  
"I'm going to hold you to that, Detective."  
  
"You know I always keep my promises."  She winked before disappearing into their bedroom.  
  
Elliot shoved his hands into his pockets and looked at Alex regretfully.  "Alex, I'm really sorry.  When I came over here, I wasn't trying to ruin your day."  
  
Alex waved him off.  "It's who she is, Elliot.  You and I both know that."  She busied herself with the lights Olivia had left on the floor, finally tossing them aside with a smirk.  She had already decided to have a professional do it all along anyway.  "And I wouldn't dare try to change her."  
  
Elliot nodded and smiled.  "You really do love her don't you?"  
  
Alex looked up at the question a little perplexed.  "Of course I do.  You doubted that?"  
  
"I didn't mean it like that.  It's just...I know it's not easy being with a cop.  I'm surprised Kathy is still hanging in there with me after all these years."  
  
Alex nodded knowingly.  She was somewhat aware of the problems Elliot and his wife had endured over the years.  
  
"I love every part of Olivia...even the part that works long hours or leaves me in the middle of dinner or our day off to chase down a lead.  Her dedication to the job and the victims was the first thing I fell in love with."  She smirked.  "The killer body and eyes were a close second."  
  
Elliot smiled.  "She's lucky you know...to have you in her corner."  
  
"I'm just as lucky to have her in mine.  She makes… it easier for me to be me."  Alex said simply.    
  
Elliot was stopped by her simple words.  He’d never thought about love that way before. Though small, that was probably the most romantic thing he'd ever heard.    
  
"You ready?"  Olivia emerged dressed in black slacks and a matching sweater; her gun and badge already clipped on her belt.  She was pulling on her trademark leather coat.  
  
Alex turned and pulled her by the lapels.  She buttoned her coat for her.  "Make sure you put on a scarf and gloves...and keep them on when you're outside.  Its cold out and I don't want you getting sick before Christmas.  I'm taking you home to show you off, remember?"  
  
Olivia blushed a deep red.  She would still get embarrassed when her partner saw Alex fussing over her.  She knew he would tease her about it later.  "I will.  I'll call if I'm going to be really late.  I love you."  
  
"I love you too. Be safe."  Alex kissed her chastely on the lips then pushed her off in the direction of her other partner.  
  
"Yes dear."  Olivia winked.  
  
"Call me if you need anything on my end."  She waited until Olivia was out of earshot.  "...And Elliot?"  He turned and met her eyes.  "Take care of her."  
  
"You know I always do, Counselor."  
  
Elliot gave Olivia a goofy look as they boarded the elevator.  Olivia rolled her eyes.  She knew it was coming.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh nothing...just waiting for you to put your mittens on for Mommy."  
  
"Elliot."  Olivia warned.  
  
He started giggling.  "I never thought I'd see the day when Olivia  _'The Stud'_  Benson became so...domesticated."  
  
"I'm warning you."  
  
"Alex must be really good in bed."  
  
She shot him a glare usually reserved for perps.  "Don't...even... go... there."  
  
"I'm just saying.  You seem a little... pussy whipped to me."  
  
Olivia stared ahead finally hearing the bell signaling that they'd reached the lobby.  "You say that like it's a bad thing.  Maybe I liked the way she whips my pussy."  She gave him a wink as she stepped out into the lobby leaving Elliot inside still dazed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four** ****  
  
Serena was plugging the last few notes into her briefcase when she heard a soft knock at the door.  Without looking up, she gave permission to enter.  
  
"It's open."  
  
Pearce walked in and waited for the blonde to lift her head.  "You look busy.  If you need to finish up, I can come back later."  
  
Serena still hadn't lifted her head.  "If you so much as make a move to leave, Dr. Delong I'll be very upset with you."  
  
Finally finishing her thought, she looked up.  She met Pearce's green eyes with her own.  "It's been a week and we've spent what...thirty minutes together?  Let me wrap this up then I'm all yours."  
  
"Take your time.  I'll just sit here and look at you.  It's becoming one of my most favorite things to do."  
  
Pearce sat down in one of the seats in front of Serena's desk.  Serena glanced up at her.  Pearce was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a red v-neck sweater underneath a black leather coat.  "You look nice."  
  
Pearce peered down at herself.  "What?  Didn't like the scrubs?"  
  
"No, I think you always look adorable in those.  It's just...I like seeing you in clothes."  
  
Pearce raised a brow.  "And here I thought you liked me best out of them."  
  
A flash of Pearce's naked body appeared in her mind.  Serena closed her eyes and fumbled a bit.  "Uh...What I meant was...I like seeing you in regular clothes, you know?  I... I like seeing you in clothes other than your work attire."   _For Christ's sake, I'm an Ivy League graduate.  Why do I always sound like a complete idiot around her!_

Pearce was amused by Serena's rambling, but chose not to tease her.  "I'll have to remember that."  
  
Serena stacked the remaining files neatly on her desk and quickly changed the subject.  "So, where are we going for dinner?"  
  
Pearce stood and moved around the desk pulling Serena up and into an embrace.  "Well..."  She rested her hands just below the blonde’s waist.  "Since, I haven't seen all that much of you this week, I'd rather not spend our time together in a crowded restaurant with other people."    _I'd much rather spend it in a warm bed._ _  
_  
"What did you have in mind because there is still the matter of my appetite that needs to be considered?"   _Both appetites actually._ _  
_  
"Hungry are we?"  Pearce asked.  "I suppose I'll have to find something really good for you to eat then."  
  
"What I had in mind is."  Serena mumbled without thinking.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Oh, I was just saying that anything would do.  I'm not really particular tonight."   _Liar_ __  
  
"I was actually thinking that I'd cook something for you...maybe that shrimp dish you like so much."  
  
"I love that idea.  Your place or mine?"  
  
"Considering the fact that I'm cooking and that requires cookware, I'd say mine."  
  
Serena swatted her arm.  "Hey!  I have cookware, thank you."  
  
"Darling, a spatula and one pot does not equate to cookware."  
  
Serena rolled her eyes playfully.  "Whatever.  Let me grab my purse and then we can go back to your gourmet kitchen and I'll put myself in your capable hands, master chef."  
  
"That's the best news I've gotten all day."  Peace smiled slyly and kissed her chastely on the lips.  "Let's go."  
  
"Lead the way."  
  
Pearce headed out into the hall first and waited for Serena to switch off the lights and close up.    
  
"So how was the rest of your day?"  
  
"It was okay.  I had a rather unusual meeting with..."  Serena paused when she realized she had lost her companion's attention.    
  
Pearce was looking down the dark hallway.  She followed her gaze and saw nothing.  "Pearce?  Pearce, what is it?"  
  
Pearce blinked and turned back to Serena.  "Uh... nothing I guess."  She glanced back down the hallway again.  "I just...I thought I saw someone down there.  I got the strangest feeling...like someone was watching me."  
  
Serena shrugged her shoulders.  "It could have been someone from maintenance.  They sometimes come in at night to work so we don't get in their way.  Maybe that's what you saw."  
  
Pearce was still looking down the hall.  "Maybe."  She shook her head shrugging off the odd feeling.  "Anyway, forget it."  She smiled and held out her hand to Serena.  "Come on.  This chef owes you dinner."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five** ****  
  
"Christ!  I can't believe we didn't see this before."  Olivia said in frustration tossing her notes back onto her desk.  "He had access to every single victim's home."  
  
"He was under our radar back then."  Elliot added.  
  
"Well, he's certainly on the radar now." Munch said putting the phone back on the receiver.  He looked over at Olivia and Elliot.  "I just spoke with our illustrious ADA and she said that we had enough to bring him in for questioning, but only on his connection to the first three victims, nothing else."  
  
"Looks like we better bring him in before she gets down here."  Olivia said pulling on her coat.  
  
 "I'm right behind you."    
  
Elliot grabbed his coat from the back of his chair and paused by Olivia's desk.  "Hey Liv, you better put these on.  The little woman will be upset if you catch a cold before you two go home to Mommy Cabot's estate in the country."  He teased as he tossed her the gloves.  
  
She rolled her eyes, catching the gloves in one smooth motion.  She pulled them on without question.  She could take Elliot’s teasing but she wasn’t about to have Alex pissed at her.  
  
"Word of advice, El.  If you value you balls still being attached to your body, don't ever let Alex Cabot hear you refer to her as the  _Little Woman_."  
  
"So, if she's not the little woman...are you?  And here I thought that you were the more butch of the two."  
  
Olivia shot him a glare.  "Can it Stabler!"  
  
"And what are you going to do if I don't...tell Cabot?"  
  
Olivia smirked.  She'd grown used to their teasing about Alex a long time ago.  "No. But I can invite you and Kathy over for dinner.”

 

“So? Where’s the threat in that?”

 

Olivia grinned evilly.  “Kathy will make sure you come to dinner…and I will make sure Alex cooks it."  
  
Elliot stopped in his tracks.  "Hey!  That's just mean.  You know that I was only kidding."  
  
"All is fair in love and work, partner."  Olivia laughed as they walked out the squad room doors.  
  
A half hour later, Benson and Stabler stood at the door of an old apartment building downtown.  Elliot knocked again after getting no answer the first two times.  Finally, the door opened revealing a tall muscular man.  He looked to be in his mid-twenties.  
  
"Are you Mark Ross of Paramount Security?"  Elliot asked.  
  
"Yeah...who wants to know?"  
  
Olivia lifted her badge.  "NYPD does.  We'd like you to come down to the station and answer a few questions."  
  
Before either could respond, the suspect slammed the door quickly and bolted back into the apartment.  Without hesitation, Elliot and Olivia drew their weapons.  
  
"I hate it when they run."  Elliot grumbled.  
  
As soon as Elliot kicked down the door, they both proceeded inside quickly.  Olivia took a quick sweep to the right and caught a glimpse of the suspect heading out through the fire escape.  
  
"He's heading towards the alley.  I'll try to cut him off!"   
  
Olivia ran back out the front while Elliot chased after him.  By the time Elliot reached the alley, he had a clear view of Ross.  He took a quick turn back towards the front landing him directly in Olivia's path.  One swift knee to the groin and she had him subdued.  Elliot ran over and pushed him up against the wall.  
  
"Why'd you run Mr. Ross?  We just wanted to talk to you."  Elliot said still slightly winded.  
  
"Screw you!  I know how you cops talk.  I didn't do anything!"    
  
"You must have done something to take off like that."  
  
"You people are crazy!"  
  
"You ran.  That has guilt written all over it."  Olivia said pulling out her handcuffs.  
  
"Fuck you, bitch!"    
  
Ross turned just enough in Elliot's hold to take a swing at Olivia.  Elliot tried to hold him down, but he'd already hit his target.  Olivia took a solid punch right to the jaw.  She staggered back slightly as blood filled her mouth.  Elliot gave him a hard kidney punch sending him to the ground in pain.  He cuffed him much tighter than necessary.  
  
"You alright, Liv?"  
  
"Yeah.  Bastard can't even punch."  She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small cloth and covered her bloody lip.  
  
"You can't arrest me.  I didn't do anything!"  
  
Elliot pressed his knee into Ross' back causing him to groan in pain.  "You just assaulted a police officer asswipe.  You're under arrest."  
  
Elliot read Ross his rights as they escorted him to the car.  After shoving him inside, Elliot turned back to his partner.  
  
"You sure you're alright, Liv.  That big guy looks like he packs a hell of a punch."  He could see the darkening bruise already forming along Olivia's jaw line.  "Maybe you should get that looked at.  It could be broken."  
  
Olivia waved off his concern and flexed her jaw.  She knew that Elliot would always worry. But he had a tendency to be a bit overprotective ever since the incident with Eric Williams the previous year.    
  
"I'm fine, El.  Let's just get him back to the station."  
  
He eyed her closely.  "Alright.  It's your call, but Cabot is going to be pissed."  
  
Olivia sighed.  "I know. I know."  
  
By the time Alex had arrived, Olivia and Elliot were already questioning their suspect.  She strolled into the observation room and found Captain Cragen in his usual spot.  
  
"Good evening Counselor.  Sorry we had to start without you."  
  
Alex gave him a quick nod before turning her attentions towards the other room.  Elliot was up pacing behind the suspect while Olivia sat across the table from him.  She had her back to the window, but Alex could tell by her posture that Olivia was calm.  Alex, however, was not.  She hated when Olivia sat so close to the suspects.   
  
Elliot laid photos of the victims in front of Ross.  "I'm going to ask you again...do you know or have you ever come in contact with any of these women?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You don't know any of these women?"  
  
"What are you deaf?  That's what I just said.  What the hell is this about?"  
  
"I really don't like being lied to Mark."  Olivia spoke quietly for the first time since questioning had begun.  
  
"I'm not lying."  
  
"You just said that you didn't know these women, but we have proof that shows us otherwise."  
  
She saw the slight change in his expression.  "We know that you met all of these women through the security company you work for."  
  
"I meet lots of people in my line of work.  So what?"  
  
"What if I were to tell you that you personally installed all of their systems?  And what if I were to tell you that you had appointments with each of these women on the same day they were attacked? Would you be able to explain that, Mr. Ross?"  
  
"Last time I checked, doing my job wasn't a crime."  
  
"No...but rape is."  Elliot said pinning him with a glare.  
  
"I didn't rape anybody!"  
  
"If that's the truth, you have nothing to worry about.  Just give us a DNA sample to rule you out."  
  
"Hell no!  I know my rights.  I want a lawyer!  You can't keep me here without a lawyer and you can't take my DNA."  
  
A few moments later, Olivia and Elliot filed out of the room and approached Alex and Cragen.  
  
"What do you guys think?"  Cragen asked.  
  
"This is our guy, Cap.  I can feel it."  Olivia said still standing in the shadow of the door.  
  
"I agree with Liv.  He had knowledge of their addresses, access to their homes… the fact that he came to check their systems the same day they were raped..."  He shook his head.  "This is our perp."  
  
Alex continued to watch Mark Ross through the window.  "But he's right.  We can't hold him just on that.  It's all circumstantial at best.  And once he's lawyered up, he's not going to talk."  
  
Elliot bristled.  "I don't want to let this guy go, Alex."  
  
Alex could hear the irritation in Elliot's voice. "I understand but we don't have enough to hold him.  We need physical evidence that links him to the rapes.  The best we can do is stall until his lawyer gets here and hope he lets something slip.  But if what I just saw is an indicator... he's not going to tell us anything."  
  
"Maybe not, but we can hold him for assaulting a police officer."  Olivia said stepping forward.  
  
Alex turned as Olivia approached.  She took a deep breath as she saw the big bruise along Olivia's face.  Every muscle in her body tightened and she fought the urge to pull her into a hug.  
  
"Is that his doing?"  Alex asked as professionally as possible.  Olivia simply nodded.  Alex's blue eyes turned gray with anger.  "Book Mr. Ross on assault and acquaint him with our facilities.  It's Friday, which means he can't be arraigned until Monday morning.  That gives you the weekend to come up with something."  
  
"So what now?"  
  
"Now...you go out and bring me every shred of evidence you can find to tie Mr. Ross to these victims.  Re-interview every single person involved in these cases and see if we can get something concrete to pin on him.  We need to prove that his involvement was not a mere coincidence."  
  
Elliot perked up a little at Alex's fired up state.  "If you want physical evidence, we're going to need to search his place."  Elliot stated.  "Maybe he kept trophies."  
  
Alex glanced at her watch.  It was already eleven.  "I'll wake a judge and see if I have any more rabbits in my hat.  I'm not promising anything, but I'll try."  
  
"Thanks Alex."  
  
"If you want to thank me, bring me some hard evidence that I can use to nail this guy."  
  
"We're on it."  Elliot nodded.    
  
The three officers moved to leave, but Alex wasn't about to let one of them off so easily.  
  
"Detective, I'd like to have a word with you please."  
  
Captain Cragen and Elliot was very aware of which detective she was referring to.  Although Alex and Olivia had a personal relationship, they purposely kept it completely separate.  Whenever Alex came down to the squad room, she addressed Olivia as Detective Benson and Olivia always addressed Alex as Ms. Cabot or Counselor.  It wasn't as if they were trying to hide because their relationship had been disclosed.  It wasn’t a secret.  They had simply made a conscious decision early on that they would not allow their personal relationship to interfere with the job.  But remaining professional was always difficult on days like this, especially for Alex. Times like these reminded her of just how dangerous her lover's occupation really was.  
  
She waited until the door closed behind Elliot before she walked over and gently laid her hand on Olivia's jaw.  She examined her face grimacing slightly at the swelling.  
  
"You're going to give me grays, Benson...and I won't forgive you for that."  
  
"I'm sorry.  The bastard sucker punched me."  
  
"Are you alright?"  The concern in Alex's voice was evident.  
  
"Yeah.  It's just a nasty bruise.  It looks worse than it is.   A little ice and some concealer and I'll be good as new."  Olivia said trying to lighten the mood.  
  
Alex never smiled.  She just wrapped her arms around Olivia and held her tightly.  They stood there in each other’s arms for a long time.  Olivia finally pulled back and kissed her forehead.  
  
"Honey, I'm okay.  I promise.  I was never in any real danger."  
  
"Liar."  Alex mumbled into her neck.  "You're always in danger...and I hate that."  
  
Olivia didn't know how to respond.  She'd seen Elliot do this a hundred times before with Kathy.  Now she found herself in the same position.  She knew she couldn't give Alex false promises; promises that nothing would ever happen to her.  Alex was much too smart for that and she'd already seen the true reality of how dangerous Olivia's job was last year.  And Olivia knew that Alex would never forget.  
  
Alex finally pulled back and took a deep breath.  "But I can't live without you so I'll deal with it.  Just promise me that you'll always be careful."  
  
"I'll always be careful.  I promise."  
  
"Okay."  Alex stepped away and picked up her briefcase.  "I'm going to go wake up that judge.  You and Detective Stabler go and find me some evidence."  
  
Sensing how her lover had switched back into attorney mode, Olivia did the same.  "I'm on it, Counselor."  
  
Before Olivia opened the door, she turned and faced Alex one last time.  "I love you, Alex.  You know that right?"  
  
Alex smiled softly and touched her bruised cheek.  "I know and I love you...bruises and all."

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six** ****  
  
  
Pearce was pulled from her peaceful slumber by the familiar sound of her pager vibrating on the table next to the bed.  She reached over and quickly switched it off hoping not to wake the blonde lying in her arms.  Serena shifted slightly but never woke up.  Pearce looked at the glowing screen seeing it was a 911 page and could not be ignored.  
  
She carefully removed herself from Serena's grasp and slipped out of bed.  The cold air caused her to shiver.  Glancing over at the clock, she noticed the time.   _Three am.  At least I got a few hours sleep._ Thinking back on the night she'd spent with the sleeping blonde, Pearce smiled fondly.  She realized that her lack of sleep had been her own fault.  She couldn't keep her hands off of Serena.   _Who needs sleep anyway?_ _  
  
_ After a quick shower, Pearce threw on a pair of scrubs and grabbed her coat.  She looked at the clock then back at Serena.  She knew it was much too early to wake her and Serena looked too peaceful and content to disturb.   _She looks like an angel._ Something came over Pearce that she hadn't felt in a very long time.  She felt completely at peace.  In that moment, everything seemed just as it was supposed to be, perfect even.  It just seemed right to have Serena in her bed...in her home...in her heart.  As she watched Serena sleep, Pearce finally admitted that what she had been feeling wasn't just some passing attraction or simple infatuation.  She had fallen in love with the attorney and there was no turning back now.  She had been down this road before and she just prayed that she wasn't making a mistake that her heart would regret later.  
  
Once again, the vibration of her pager brought her out of her musings.  She pulled the comforter back over Serena's body allowing her fingers to trail over flawless porcelain skin.  
  
"I love you."  She whispered for the first time out loud before placing a kiss on the sleeping woman’s temple.  Serena shifted and mumbled before drifting back to sleep.  
  
A few hours later, Serena woke up alone in Pearce's bed.  She glanced around the spacious room and saw no sign of the doctor.  Spotting Pearce's robe at the end of the bed, she grabbed it and slipped it on.  When she ventured out into the living room, she noticed a note propped on the kitchen table.    
  
_Good morning,_ _  
I got called in obviously. These are to the front door.  Stay as long as you like. I'll call you later.  
P.S. I miss you already.   
-Pearce_  
  
Serena ran her fingers over the cursive writing as if she were caressing Pearce's hands.  She saw two golden keys on a small key chain.  She smiled when she read the key chain.   _"My girlfriend is so PHAT...Pretty, Hot, And Tempting."_ __  
  
Serena showered and opted to borrow some of Pearce's clothes rather than going home.  She settled on a pair of dark jeans and a thick Oxford University hoodie.  She pulled the shirt up to her nose and took a deep breath.  Yes, it even smelled like Pearce.  Serena caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and laughed.  "You are so gone for her, Southerlyn."  
  
A short elevator ride down a few floors and Serena was at Alex and Olivia's door.  When she called Alex and found out that Olivia was working, she'd asked her favorite gal pal out to brunch.  
  
Alex opened the door and looked her up and down.  She folded her arms over her chest.  "Since when did you go to Oxford University?"  
  
"I didn't...but my girlfriend did."  Serena said strolling inside.  She looked at Alex's Harvard sweatshirt and smirked.  "Jealous?"  
  
"At least I didn't go undergrad at Yale." Alex retorted as she went back over to the sofa to slip on her shoes.   
  
"Hey!  There is nothing wrong with Yale, sweetheart."  
  
"No.  It's just second to Harvard."  
  
"Says you.  And Harvard is always second to Oxford."  She said pointing to her shirt again.  
  
Alex laughed.  "Oh shut up!  Who cares if your sMark pants girlfriend went to the mother of all universities.  Feed me.  I'm starving."  
  
They made their way down the street on the cold, crisp morning.  They finally stopped at their usual cafe.  They placed their orders and filled each other in on the happenings of the past week.  
  
"I was wondering when I'd hear from you.  I haven't seen you in nearly two weeks."  Alex said digging into her food.  
  
"Jack and I have been swamped with the Toliver trial.  Thank god he finally decided to take the deal.  I really wasn't up for another long trial.  I'd like to be able to actually enjoy the holidays this year."  
  
"I know what you mean.  This will be our first Christmas together as a real couple and I want to make it special for Liv.  Christmas wasn't a very popular holiday in her house when she was a kid.  It's been a challenge to get her into the spirit."  
  
Serena nodded knowingly.  She'd gotten to know Olivia over the years and even more since she and Alex had gotten together.  Olivia didn't confide in many friends about her past and Serena had felt honored that she had been included in that select few.  
  
"So, what do you have planned?"  
  
Alex smiled.  "Well for starters...I'm taking her home to my mother's."  
  
Serena nearly choked on her bagel.  "You're taking Olivia up to your mother's estate?"  
  
"Yes, what's the big deal?"  
  
"Oh I don't know.  Maybe it's the fact that you swore that if you ever met someone special and fell in love that you'd never subject them to Cabot functions for fear of scaring them off."  
  
"I know, but Liv is different.  If you haven't noticed... she doesn't scare easily."  
  
"True, but does Olivia know what she's gotten herself into?"  
  
"And what is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Meaning does she know that she's going to be interrogated and scrutinized by the entire Cabot clan starting with your prim and proper grandmother who happens to have no idea that you're gay, not to mention your mother who is in complete denial and your Uncle Bill who has hated everyone that you have ever dated?"  
  
"You make them sound like a pack of wolves." Serena never blinked and Alex smirked.  "Okay, so they're a little protective of me, but it's only because I'm my father’s only child.  They love me and want what's best for me."  
  
"You mean they're protective of your career and public image."  
  
"That too, but I had a long chat with my mother and she knows that I'm serious about Olivia and that I'm happy.  That's all that matters."  
  
"Are you saying that your mother has finally accepted the fact that you’re a lesbian in a big way and not just going through a phase still?"   
  
"She's coming around...slowly but surely."  
  
"Okay, if you say so."  Serena said unconvinced.  
  
Alex quickly changed the subject.  "What about you?  You going home to see the Southerlyn brood?"  


"My brothers have been giving me a hard time about missing Thanksgiving, so I suppose I'll try to make Christmas.  But that all depends on my case load.  We've been so swamped lately.  I barely have a social life."  
  
"Speaking of social lives...You're staying at her place, wearing her clothes.  What's up?"  
  
Serena shrugged her shoulders.  "Nothing."  
  
"Nothing?"  Alex eyed her.   
  
"Everything is good."  She blushed slightly.  "I know this may sound crazy, but I could have sworn that she told me that she loved me."  
  
Alex blinked. "What's so crazy about that?"  
  
"I think I might have been asleep."  
  
"You mean you fell asleep on the woman?  Gee Rena, that's awfully romantic."  Alex teased.  
  
Serena slapped her arm playfully.  "Shut up.  She got paged early this morning.  I remember her kissing me and I thought I heard her say it before she left, but I was probably just dreaming though."  
  
Alex looked at Serena as if she'd just said something completely idiotic.  "What?"  
  
"Serena, are you telling me that you still don't know if that woman loves you or not?" 

 

When Serena shrugged her shoulders, Alex shook her head.  "Serena, I'm about to do you a huge favor.  I'm going to ask you some very simple questions and I want you to answer them honestly, okay?"  
  
"Okay."    
  
"How does Dr. Delong spend her evenings off?"  
  
"Uh... I don't know.  She calls me whenever she's not working.  If I'm not busy, she'll come over and hang out.  Sometimes I'll come over to her place."  
  
"So it would be an accurate assessment that Dr. Delong spends the majority of her spare time with you?"  
  
"Yes."  Serena said growing slightly uncomfortable.  She wasn't used to being the one on the receiving end of a cross examination.  
  
"And what do you two usually do during these times?"  
  
Serena blushed.  She really wasn't planning on discussing her sex life this early in the morning, so she avoided the topic.  "Go to dinner...sometimes she'll cook.  We go shopping every now and then.  Other times, we just sit and talk."  
  
"So you two talk...not just have sex?"  
  
"Alex!"  
  
"Answer the question, Ms. Southerlyn."  
  
Serena grit her teeth.  "No.  We don't always have sex.  We talk...a lot."  
  
"But the sex is good though?"  
  
Serena blushed a deep red and hid her face in her hands.  "Yes, the sex is good....great actually."  
  
"And when you talk, what do you talk about?"  
  
Serena shrugged.  "Nothing....Everything."  
  
"You previously referred to Dr. Delong as your girlfriend.  Does she know that you refer to her in that way?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And how does she refer to you?"  
  
"As her girlfriend."  
  
Alex smirked at the new addition to Serena's keys.  "You also stated that you two went shopping.  Did she go with you willingly without question or complaint?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"To your knowledge, does Dr. Delong strike you as a woman who would spend her spare time shopping for a pair of Manolo Blahnik's?"  
  
"What are you getting at Alex?"  
  
Alex smiled and shook her head.  "I'm trying to help you see the obvious because  _obviously_  you can't see it."  
  
"Which would be?"  
  
Alex held up her hand and started drumming off each fact on each finger.  "Let's take a look at the evidence again, shall we?  Exhibit A- She spends all of her free time with you.  Exhibit B- She cooks for you, not to mention she sits and talks to you because she wants to know you.  Why'd she want to do that is beyond my understanding, but to each its own."    
  
Alex leaned away from the playful punch Serena threw at her.    
  
"Exhibit C- She's more than comfortable with you being in her space alone, which usually means that she has nothing to hide from you...since we women tend to snoop.  And last and most importantly, my strongest evidence is Exhibit D- The woman went shopping with you.  Shopping Serena!  Do you have any idea what it takes for me to get Olivia Benson to go shopping with me?"  
  
Serena smiled at the pained expression on her friend's face.    
  
"If you don't know if Pearce Delong is in love with you by now, I'm seriously questioning Yale's standards at this point."  Serena could only laugh.   "I rest my case."  
  
Serena sighed and looked at her friend.  "Could I have really gotten this lucky?"  
  
"Why wouldn't you?"  
  
"I don't know.  I've been here before, you know.  Sometimes I think that she's just too good to be true.  It's like I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and she'll turn out to be just like all the others."  
  
"Like the others...or just like Abbie?"  
  
"I didn't say that." Serena mumbled.   
  
"You didn't have to.  It's written all over your face.  I thought you were over all of that?"  
  
The Abbie that Alex was referring to was none other than Abbie Carmichael.  She and Serena had met when their paths crossed in the DA's office.  They became fast friends and lovers soon after.  Things were going well between the two.  Even after Abbie left and Serena took her place, the relationship appeared to be solid.  All was perfect until Serena found out about Abbie's one night stand with a colleague. Serena was devastated and couldn't get past the distrust no matter how hard Abbie tried to make things right again.  
  
"I am over what happened with Abbie.  I have been for a long time."  
  
"Are you?" Serena sighed heavily.  Alex placed her hand over Serena's.  "I know how badly you were hurt.  I was there, remember?  But you can't live your life being afraid of being hurt again.  Remember what you told me about Olivia last year?  If you wait, you might end up missing out on the best thing in your life."  
  
Serena simply nodded.  Sensing that she'd given Serena quite a bit to digest, Alex quickly switched gears.  "Hey, do you feel up to doing a little shopping with me today?  I have a few gifts that I still need to get."  
  
Serena thought for a moment.  "You know what?  Shopping might be exactly what I need right now.  I still have to find something for Pearce and I have no idea what to get her."  
  
"Well, you are in luck, my dear.  I just so happen to have a black belt in shopping."  Alex smiled.  "Now go pay the check so we can go."  
  
Serena rolled her eyes.  "You're a Cabot.  Money is no object to you, yet here I am paying the bill.  Somehow, I find this incredibly ironic."  
  
"True, but Olivia says that I need to learn the value of a dollar.  So that's what I'm doing."  
  
Serena frowned at her logic.  "How so?"  
  
"By watching you spend yours, of course.   Now, let's go.  We have shopping to do woman!"  
  
"Alright.  I'm going.  I'm going.  But you're buying me an extremely expensive gift today."  
  
Alex laughed.  "I always buy you expensive gifts."  
  
"I know.  That's why I love shopping with you."  
  
The two were all smiles as they left the cafe.  Neither noticed the dark haired man watching them intently from across the room.  He got the attention of the waiter that had served them.  
  
"Excuse me young man."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"You wouldn't happen to know the names of the two beautiful ladies that just left would you?"  
  
The young waiter smiled.  "Oh sure.  That was Serena Southerlyn and Alexandra Cabot.  They're both hot shot lawyers for the DA's office.  They come here all the time for brunch.  I love to wait on them.  They're really great tippers.  Was there a reason you wanted to know about them?"  
  
The man shook his head.   "They just looked familiar...especially the shorter one."  
  
"That would be Ms. Southerlyn.  You might have seen her on the news or in the papers."  
  
The man smiled pleasantly.  "I'm sure that's it."  
  
"Can I help you with anything else, sir?"  
  
"No.  You've helped me more than you know."  With that, the man walked out and into the busy street.  He flipped open his phone as he hailed a cab.  "Yes, it's me.  Get me all the information you can find on a Serena Southerlyn."

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**  
  
The captain's door opened and he stepped out.  "Benson...Stabler!  I need you to head down to the lab.  The ME has some news."

"We're on it, Cap."  Olivia grabbed her coat and followed her partner out.

Twenty minutes later, Olivia and Elliot were standing in the middle of Dr. Melinda Warner's lab getting the rundown on her latest findings.

"So, you’re suggesting that the earlier rapes were most likely committed by a different perp?"  Elliot asked confused.

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting."  She moved closer to the large photos that had been blown up.  She pointed to the scars and cuts.  "If you'll look at the rope burns on the first three victims...you can see that the bruises go upward.  They were choked from behind by someone that was much taller than they were.  See the upward angle of the bruising?" 

She walked over to the other photos.  "Now these are completely different.  See how the bruising is different?  They're in a downward slope which suggests that the attacker was shorter.  Since all the victims are about the same height, the bruising shouldn't be that different."

"But couldn't that mean that the perp changed positions?  That isn't really definite."  Olivia interjected.

"True, but there is also this."  Dr. Warner pointed to the cuts on the bodies.  "These cuts were made at an angle that suggests that the attacker was left handed.  Those do not.  So, unless you have a perp that is ambidextrous...I'd say you have two attackers."  
  
"Shit."  Elliot griped.  He knew their jobs had gotten ten times harder.  His cell phone broke their conversation.  "Stabler....you're kidding me...We're on our way there now. Thanks."  
  
Olivia and Warner waited patiently.  "I guess Cabot had more than just one rabbit in that hat.  That was Fin.  He said that Alex finally found a judge willing to give us a warrant to search Ross' place.  We need to head over there now."  
  
A few hours later, Alex made her way into the squad room and found the detectives going over evidence and possible scenarios on the board.  She waited to be briefed.  
  
"Evening Counselor."    
  
"I hope you guys have good news for me.  You do not want to know what I had to promise Judge Petrovski in order to get that warrant.  I swear I think that woman wants my head on a platter."  
  
"We found rope, duct tape, and a knife packed away in a bag at Ross' place.  Warner has already determined that the rope found is the same type of rope used to strangle the first three victims.  The rope and knife are being tested for DNA.  If we're lucky, the DNA and the blood found on the knife will be a match to one of the victims."  Elliot said confidently.  
  
"And if it is...we have him right where we want him."  Olivia added.

"But what about this theory that there were two attackers?" Alex questioned.  
  
"We're thinking that Ross had a partner...maybe someone who worked with him at the security company."  
  
"We're going to need to find out who this other attacker is.  No jury is ever going to return a guilty verdict if the evidence points to another attacker."  
  
Elliot bristled.  "You gotta be kidding me."  
  
"Ross' lawyer can say that there was another attacker; that his client was framed.  Put a rush on those lab results and get a list of Paramount's customers from the last ten years.  We need to show that there was a clear connection between Ross and those victims."  
  
Cragen nodded and made the call while Elliot headed off to the lab.  Alex tilted her head and watched as Olivia dropped back into her chair in exhaustion.  
  
"You look exhausted, Detective."  
  
"I'm okay.  It's nothing out of the ordinary."  
  
Alex perched herself on Olivia's desk then glanced around to see if anyone was looking.  "I've missed you.  It feels like you haven't been home in days."  
  
"I haven't been home in days.  This case has us all running in circles."  
  
"When was the last time you slept?"  
  
Olivia shrugged her shoulders and sighed.  Alex knew what that meant.  Olivia hadn't slept at all.  
  
"That's it."  She hopped down from her place on the desk.  "Come on.  I'm taking you home."  
  
"Ale...Counselor, I can't leave in the middle of this.  I have to get that list from the security company and....."  
  
"I'm sure that Cragen can get one of the other detectives to handle that."  
  
"But I need to..."  
  
"You need to come home and rest.  Everyone has to sleep sometime...even you."  
  
"I can crash in the crib later."  
  
"Elliot went home to see his wife and kids.  Fin even took a few hours.  So, I know you can come home with me and have a decent meal and a few hours of sleep."  
  
Olivia gave her a stubborn look, but Alex wasn't giving an inch.  "Don't make me talk to Don because you know I will."   She moved closer and ran her hand through Olivia's unruly locks.  "Killing yourself isn't going to help those victims.  Come home with me."  
  
Olivia knew there was no use in trying to argue with someone who made a living arguing.  She stood and went over to Cragen's office.  "Hey Cap, if it's alright.... I'm going to head home and get some sleep."  
  
Cragen gave her a long look and nodded.  "I don't want to see you back here before ten tomorrow morning."  
  
"But Cap..."  
  
"I need my detectives effective, not half dead.  Now get the hell out of here and take our ADA with you.  She's distracting the rookies."  
  
Olivia gave him a small smile before closing the door.  "Come on Counselor.  Let's go home."  
  
It didn't take Olivia's exhaustion long to catch up with her.  She fell asleep in the car on the way home.  Alex parked the car and gently shook her shoulder.  The two went upstairs in silence.  Once inside, Alex pushed Olivia off towards the shower while she went into the kitchen to heat up some leftovers.  
  
When Olivia emerged from the bedroom, the smell of food was in the air.  She found Alex already in her pajamas curled up on the sofa reading through her files.  She paused in the hallway and just watched her for a moment.   Alex finally looked up and saw her.  She pushed her black spectacles up on her nose and smiled.  
  
"Hey, you look much better."  
  
"A shower can do wonders."  
  
"I heated up some food for you."  
  
Olivia raised a brow.  "You cooked?  You?"  
  
Alex rolled her eyes.  "You don't have to say it like that.  But...no, I didn't cook.  I met my mother for dinner earlier remember?"  
  
Olivia closed her eyes and smacked her forehead.  "God, I completely forgot.  I am so sorry, baby."  
  
Alex waved her off.  "I know you were busy with the case.  I figured you wouldn't be able to make it so I ordered something from their take-out menu for you.  It's in the kitchen."  
  
Olivia went into the kitchen and saw an elaborate meal laid out for her, which made her feel even guiltier.    
  
"Wow.  This looks great.  Where did you guys go?"   _Obviously somewhere fancy._ She thought as she took her food and brought it back into the living-room so she could be near Alex.  
  
"Pierre's.  It's my mother's favorite place."  
  
Olivia hid her smirk.  Pierre's was only one of New York City's most expensive restaurants.  She probably could have paid a month's rent at her last place for what Alex's mother dished out for their meal.  She took a bite... then another.  She hadn't realized how hungry she was until just then.  
  
"So how is your mother?"  
  
"Oh, she was her usual self." Alex said casually.  
  
"Did she let you have it because I missed dinner?"  Olivia asked regretfully.    
  
Olivia knew better than anyone that Celine Cabot was a force to be reckoned with, especially when it came to her daughter.  Olivia had no delusions about how the Cabot matriarch felt about her involvement with Alex.  If Celine had her way, Olivia would disappear from Alex's life forever.  
  
"She asked where you were.  I told her that you were working of course."  Alex replied vaguely.  
  
"So, she's still hoping that you'll come to your senses about me, huh."  
  
"Actually..."  Alex finally looked up from her file.  "She was fairly... reasonable and nice if you can believe that."  
  
Olivia stopped eating for a second and stared at Alex.  "You mean she didn't go on and on about how you should stop this nonsense and find yourself a suitable husband?"  
  
"No, she didn't.  We actually talked about you a little."  
  
"Me?  What?  Did she put a hit out on me?"  
  
"Liv."  Alex warned.  
  
"Sorry. So, do I really want to know what she had to say about me?"  
  
Alex smiled.  "It wasn't anything bad if that's what you're implying.  She just asked me questions about you."  
  
"Like?"  
  
"Like what makes you so different from the others."  
  
This got Olivia's attention.  "There were others?  What do you mean others?"  
  
Alex laughed.  "Contrary to what most of the squad thinks, I am not actually an Ice Queen.  I have feelings and needs."  
  
"Oh, sweetie I know that."  Olivia reached over and placed her hand on Alex's thigh.  "It's just.... well you've never really mentioned being with other women other than me."  
  
Alex smirked "Are you jealous, Detective?"  
  
Olivia pouted.  "I do believe I am."  
  
"Well you don't have to be.  There were a few other women, but they were never serious.  I guess that's why my mother could always turn a blind eye to it and call it a phase.  She knew I didn't love them.  With you...well I think it's fairly obvious that isn't the case with us. “ Alex said brushing a lock of hair away from Olivia's face.  
  
"Great.  Now I know your mother hates me."  
  
Alex laughed.  "She doesn't hate you.  As a matter of fact, she asked if you were still planning on coming up for Christmas with me.  She told me to tell you to make sure you weren't working because she was looking forward to us all getting together for the holidays."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"I think she might be coming around...finally?"  
  
Olivia didn't really buy Celine's new found acceptance, but she’d give the woman the benefit of the doubt for Alex.   
  
"Well, for your sake, I hope that's true.  You know that I don't really care if she doesn't like me, Alex.  I just don't like to see you unhappy."  
  
"If you haven't noticed..."  Alex smiled softly.  "I'm not unhappy...not at all."  
  
"You don't have to pretend with me.  I know it upset you when your mother hasn't accepted our relationship in the past."  
  
Alex tilted her head then kissed her on the cheek.  "You’re right.  I love my mother.  But I can live without my mother's approval. I can't live without you."  
  
Olivia wanted to say something profound and romantic in return, but she was just too damn tired.  She yawned sleepily.  
  
Alex stood up and took her plate.  "You go on to bed.  I'll clean this up."  
  
"You're coming aren't you?"  Olivia asked rubbing her eyes.  
  
The adorable sight warmed the ADA's heart.   It was nice to know that her tough detective needed her near to sleep at night.  Alex had tested this theory several times over the course of their relationship.  If she awakened during the night, she'd move just out of Olivia's grasp.  Within minutes, Olivia would reach out and pull her close again.  And if she ever left the bed during sleepless nights, Olivia would seek her out...wherever she was and curl up next to her.  She just couldn't sleep without her.  
  
"Yeah.  I'll only be a minute."  
  
Olivia nodded and slowly made her way to the bedroom.  She could still hear Alex moving around in the front room when she slipped between the cool sheets.  The last thing she heard was the flipping of the locks.  She felt Alex slide in behind her and pull her close.  Relaxing into Alex's embrace, Olivia allowed herself to rest knowing that the violent cases and nightmares would be kept at bay if only for a few hours.  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"So, Liv is working late again, huh?"  Serena asked as they walked through the busy streets.  
  
"Yeah.  It's been a really rough couple of weeks.  This latest case has us all tied in knots, especially Liv.  I practically had to drag her home the other night.  I hate it when she gets like this.  She nearly works herself to death and she doesn't eat properly."  
  
"I know you worry about her, but she's just doing her job, Alex."  
  
"I know.  It's one of the reasons I love her so much.  I just miss her."  Alex sighed.  "But let’s not talk about that.  I'm surprised that you were free to have dinner with me tonight.  Pearce must be working, otherwise you'd be with her."  
  
Serena laughed.  "First of all, I do not spend every waking moment with her.  But she just so happened to have a meeting tonight that she couldn't get out of."    
  
They were greeted by a hostess.  "A table for two."    
  
The hostess nodded.  "Follow me please."  


Making their way through the room, Alex continued.  "So...have you two had  _the talk_ yet?"  
  
"No and before you even start in on me, I was going to tell her tonight over dinner.  But this important meeting sort of threw a wrench into my plans."  
  
"Well you can always tell her tomorrow, that is if you stop being a chicken shit."  
  
Serena rolled her eyes.  "I'm going to tell her, Alex.  Jeez, give it a rest will you."  
  
"Whatever.  Just don't keep putting it off.  You guys have been dating for like…forever.  It's time."  Alex teased.  
  
"It has not been forever and that's not even the point."  
  
"What is the point then?"  
  
Alex nearly bumped right into Serena who had stopped abruptly.  She was staring at something across the room.  She followed her gaze.    
  
"The point is...that doesn't look very much like a meeting to me."  
  
Alex blinked several times to make sure she was seeing what she thought.  There sitting at a very cozy table for two was Pearce and a very attractive man.  They were both impeccably dressed and appeared to be engaged in a rather intimate conversation.  The man reached across the table as if to touch Pearce as the brunette smiled.  Serena narrowed her eyes and her back straightened.  
  
Before Alex could say anything, Serena was already making her way over to the table.   _"Oh Shit"_ Alex thought.  "Wait, Serena maybe we shouldn't jump to…"  
  
"Interesting meeting.  I wish all of my meetings were like this."  Serena said stopping in front of the pair.  "I can see why you wouldn't want to reschedule."  
  
Pearce, obviously surprised to see them, stood immediately.  "Serena, what are you doing here?"  
  
"What am I doing here?  You're asking me... what I'm doing here?"  Serena shook her head and put her hands on her hips.  "I was about to have dinner with my best friend because my girlfriend had an important meeting at the hospital that couldn't wait.  Isn’t that how you put it? The question is...what the hell are you doing here, Pearce?"  
  
"Is there a problem, Pearce?"  The distinguished gentleman asked.  
  
"No."  She never took her eyes off of Serena.  "Serena, I...."  
  
Serena held up her hand. "Would you like to explain to me what the hell is going on because I'm certain that this isn't a meeting?  It looks rather romantic to me!"  
  
Pearce glanced back at her dinner companion and lowered her voice.  "Serena, I can explain...but not now."  
  
Serena became incensed.  "Not now? Not now!"  
  
"Serena, it's not what you think.  This is..."  
  
"You lied to me about having a meeting so you could be with...with... this guy!"  She pointed at the man still seated at the table. 

"Serena, please keep your voice down.  This isn't what you think."  
  
The man cleared his throat and interrupted.  "Pearce, I understand that this may be one of your little...indiscretions, but I did not come here to be insulted nor embarrassed."  
  
"Excuse me!  Who in the hell are you calling an indiscretion!"  Serena's voice continued to rise.  
  
Alex could see that Serena was about to explode.  She took her by the arm and tried to pull her away, but Serena wasn't budging.  "Serena..."  
  
"Serena if you would just calm down, we can talk about this. I can explain."  Pearce said in a hushed voice.  
  
"Your pompous ass of a date just called me a little indiscretion and you think we're going to talk!  Screw you!  God, I was so stupid to believe in you!  I should have known that you'd turn out to be just like all the others."  Serena shook her head.  "Tell me something, Doctor.  Were you fucking him while you were fucking me too?"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Forget it.  It doesn't even matter.  I have nothing to say to you anymore."  She said turned to leave.  
  
Pearce reached out and grabbed her arm.  "Serena wait!  You have this all wrong.  Let's at least talk."  
  
"This is all I have to say to you, Pearce."  
  
Serena picked up a glass of water from the table and splashed it right into Pearce's face.  A few gasps could be heard throughout the room.  Suddenly, all eyes were on them.  Pearce took a deep breath.  She took a napkin and wiped her face.  
  
Alex stepped forward.  "Serena, let's just go.  We're making a scene."  
  
"Oh no.  By all means, please stay.  I'll leave instead." Pearce's companion stood and tossed his napkin on the table.  "Pearce, I will  _deal_  with you later."  
  
Pearce sighed.  "But we never finished our discussion."  
  
"Young lady, we are quite finished for the evening." He said rather coldly.  "I suggest that you clean up this....little mess before we speak again."  
  
Pearce simply nodded as he stormed off.  Serena looked at her with utter disbelief.  
  
"Young lady?  Deal with you?  I can't believe you allow him to speak to you that way.  I would have never spoken to you that way."  
  
Pearce clenched her jaw, her own anger growing.  "He doesn't have to answer to you about the way he speaks to me, Serena."  
  
"Why?  Because he's your new lover?"  Serena spat.  
  
"No...Because he's my father."  
  
While Serena was trying to make sense of what she had just heard, Pearce discretely gestured for the waiter.  She whispered into his ear and slid him a several large bills.  
  
"You want an explanation.  Here it is."  Pearce turned back to them with no emotion on her face.  "The man that you so charmingly called a pompous ass and accused me of fucking... is my father.  He is also my boss, Dr. Patrick Pearce Delong, Chief of Staff at Bellevue Hospital.... just in case you'd like to check my facts since it's obvious that my word means absolutely nothing to you.  And just so you know, this _was_ a meeting.  We were here to discuss my new clinical trial.  But I also invited him here so I could tell him about the woman I'd fallen in love with…you... and that I wanted you two to meet.  But...what's the point now? You've made it perfectly clear how you really feel about me."  
  
Serena felt like crawling under a table.  She could barely even look at Pearce.  "God, I didn't... I thought..."  
  
"I know what you thought... and I thought you knew me better than that.  I guess I was wrong about that too."  Pearce said brushing past Serena.  She lifted her chin at Alex.  "Good to see you again, Alexandra.  Enjoy your evening.  I know I have."

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine** ****  
  
During the cab ride home, Serena tried Pearce's cell phone for the tenth time and again got her voice mail.  She finally gave up trying.  She stared out the window at the passing lights.  
  
"Alex?"  
  
"Yeah sweetie."  
  
"Please tell me that none of that actually happened...that it was all in my imagination."  
  
Alex looked at her painfully.  "Sorry."  
  
Serena groaned and dropped her head in her hands.  "God, I can't believe I just did that.  I made a complete ass out of myself in front of Pearce and...Oh God... her father was there."  
  
"Well, it wasn't as bad as you think."  Alex said sheepishly.  
  
"I called her father a pompous ass.  I practically called her a slut.  Then I threw a drink in her face."  
  
"Okay, so it _was_ as bad as you think."  Alex added.  "But it can be fixed."  
  
"How?  She wouldn't even look at me before she left.  She won't take my calls.  The woman probably thinks that I'm some kind of psycho or something."  
  
"I have to ask, Rena.  Why did you flip out like that?"  
  
Serena sighed heavily and laid her head back against the seat.  "I don't know.  I... I saw her there and suddenly I was back in that restaurant with Abbie."  Alex nodded knowingly.  "Now, I've ruined everything."  
  
"She was just upset.  Give her a little time to cool off and then you can talk to her."  
  
The cab stopped in front of Alex's building.  Serena looked up and shook her head.  "Alex, I can't go up there...not after the way I behaved."  
  
"You don't have to.  We never got the chance to eat and I don't want you to be alone right now."  
  
"Alex...I'll be okay."  
  
"Serena, you're my best friend.  You've taken care of me a thousand times.  Let me take care of you for a change.  You don't have to talk to Pearce until you're ready."  
  
Serena considered the offer and reluctantly followed her friend upstairs. Alex made them sandwiches and sat them on the coffee table.  Serena picked at her food, not really having an appetite anymore.  
  
"Now I know what it feels like."  Serena said still numb.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When people say they've ruined the best thing in their life."  
  
Across town, Pearce had walked aimlessly until she walked into an old diner.  It was a little hole in the wall a few blocks from the hospital that she had started visiting several years ago.  The owner was an old Irishman she'd met when he came into the ER after some kids jumped him outside his diner.  Pearce took care of him and he seemed to take an immediate liking to her.  Once he had recovered, he wanted to thank her.  He invited her down to the diner and fed her...insisting that there would be a hot meal there for her whenever she wanted.  From that moment on, Pearce would drop by at least every other week.  Sometimes to check up on her old friend, other times to seek out his advice about life.  In many ways, Sean McCloud had become like a surrogate father to her and she was the daughter that he never had.  
  
"You're looking mighty sad there, fancy face." Sean said in his usual thick Irish accent.  
  
Pearce smiled sadly at the nickname she'd earned from the old man.   "It's been a rough night, Sean."  
  
"I can see that.  You look like you went a few rounds with the champ and lost."  He smiled and placed a plate of food in front of her.  
  
"Sean, I told you that I wasn't hungry.  I just came by to check up on you."  
  
"And I told you that you're still too skinny.  You need to put some meat on those scrawny bones.  Now eat up."  
  
Pearce knew better than to argue.  Sean could be as stubborn as a mule when it came to her.  She took a bite, then another.  She finally dug in realizing that she actually was hungry.  
  
"See...my special potato soup always sooth the soul."  He took a seat across from Pearce and rested his arms on the table.  "You having lady problems, are ya?"  
  
Pearce narrowed her eyes at him.  "What makes you think that?"  
  
His laughter filled the diner.  "Only a woman has the power to make you look that down and out.  I've been there myself a time or two."  
  
"I thought you liked to avoid this particular topic with me?"  
  
Sean shrugged his shoulders.  "It is still beyond my understanding why a little lady as good looking as you wouldn't want a strapping husband, but I learned a long time ago that it isn't my place to judge.  I'm all for what puts a smile on that fancy face of yours.  And if a pretty lady does that... so be it."  
  
"Well I don't think I'll be having any more woman problems any time soon.  I think I'm going to give up dating all together."  
  
"And why would you do such a thing?"  
  
"I’m not cut out to be in a relationship.  It's just easier to be alone."  Pearce had stopped eating and had started playing around with the salt shaker.  
  
"Oh, but what kind of life would that be?  You want to go back to moping around like you were before…after Kate?”

 

Sean knew that was a sensitive topic for the doctor and treaded lightly. 

 

“You were one miserable soul if I saw one."  
  
"I'm miserable now.  What's the difference?"  
  
Sean grinned.  "The difference is you don't have to be."  
  
"I don't know, Sean.  Maybe this whole love thing just isn't for me."  
  
"That's nonsense.  You just have to keep trying."  
  
"Keep trying? Let's see...my last real relationship ended over five years ago.”  She sat up straighter and started using her fingers to tick off each point.  “Every woman that I've dated since has either wanted too much of a commitment, were unwilling to commit at all, or just plain needed to be committed.  Face it, Sean.  I am a walking disaster when it comes to this."  
  
"That's the way love goes sometimes.  You have to weed through the bad ones to appreciate the good."  
  
"Last time I checked, love wasn't supposed to hurt."  
  
"Of course it does.  Love always hurts a little if you do it right."  He shook his head.  "This one must be a keeper to have you in such a state."  
  
Pearce scowled thinking of the blonde.  "She's impossibly stubborn, completely irrational and...and…"  
  
"And absolutely perfect for you then."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh, fancy face, don't you know that those are the best kind.  They make life a hell of a lot more interesting."  His laughter bellowed throughout the empty diner.  "Now eat up.  Then you can tell me all about this little lady of yours and what happened to put a frown on that pretty face of yours."  
  
An hour of talking to Sean had made Pearce feel better.  She still didn't know why Serena had reacted the way she did, but at least she wasn't as furious as she had been.  She looked down at her cell phone.  She had eighteen missed calls, all from Serena.  Pearce knew she would eventually call Serena back, but she was still a little upset and didn't want to take the chance of saying something she'd regret later.    
  
"I'll call her back tomorrow."  She said to herself as she stepped out into the cold night air.  Shoving her hands deep into her coat pockets, Pearce headed to her car.    
  
A dark figure across the street emerged and watched her until she drove away.    
  
_Soon Pearce.... We'll be together again...really soon._ __  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten** ****  
  
Alex felt so bad for Serena. She had sat and talked with her for an hour before Serena finally cried herself to sleep.  She draped a blanket over her and went into the kitchen.  She was putting the dishes away when she heard Olivia coming through the front door.  She wiped her hands on a towel and went out to greet her.  
  
"Hey.  I didn't expect you to still be up."  Olivia said spotting Alex.  
  
Alex brought her finger to her lips.  "Shh..." She pointed to Serena.   "She had a rough night."  
  
Olivia saw the blotches on Serena's cheeks.  "What happened?"  
  
"Come on.  I'll tell you while we get ready for bed.  You're not going to believe it either."  
  
After tossing and turning restlessly in bed, Olivia finally gave up on sleep.  She pulled on some sweats and headed to the kitchen for some tea.  She was surprised to see Serena staring out the window.  Feeling the chill in the air, Olivia went over to the sofa and picked up the blanket and placed it over Serena's shoulders.     
  
"Couldn't sleep either, huh?"  Olivia asked.  Serena shook her head.  "I was about to make some tea.  Why don't you join me?"  
  
Olivia made them tea.  They sat down at the kitchen table, neither saying anything for a long time.  
  
"Is this how you interrogate witnesses?  Because I don't think it's very effective."  
  
"I didn't know you wanted to be interrogated."  
  
"Isn't that why you asked me to join you?"  
  
"No.  Actually, I don't like sitting at the table alone at one in the morning.  Alex would kill me if I woke her so I figured you'd have to do for company."  
  
Serena laughed softly.  Olivia smiled and sipped her tea.  "I'm more than willing to listen if you need to talk."  
  
"I screwed up, Olivia...monumentally."  
  
"Oh, you mean the little water works incident at the restaurant last night."  Olivia smirked.  
  
Serena groaned.   "Alex told you, didn't she?"  
  
Olivia nodded.  "I didn't figure you for the jealous type, Southerlyn."  
  
"Me either.  I don't know what came over me.  I saw her with that man and..."  
  
"You automatically assumed that she was cheating on you?  That's a hell of a conclusion to jump to."  
  
Serena shrugged her shoulders.  "Stupid, I know...but it's always easy to see the obvious in hindsight."  
  
"What in the world would make you believe that Pearce would cheat on you?  She's crazy about you."  
  
"You mean was...as in past tense."  Serena corrected.  "She hates me now."  
  
"No, she doesn't.  Anyone with eyes can see that she's head over heels for you.  The question is why couldn't you see it?  You could read me and Alex like a book."  
  
"Well my track record for seeing how women feel about me is a totally different matter.   It's obvious that I'm not good at reading my own life."  
  
Olivia eyed her closely. Serena sighed.  “I assume you heard what went down between me and Abbie Carmichael a couple of years ago.  It was all over the courthouse.”

 

Olivia shrugged.  “I try not to listen to gossip, but I heard a few things.  Alex told me the whole story when I asked her why she always seemed annoyed when I mentioned the woman’s name.”

 

“I guess you could say it all stems from that. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel like it was happening all over again when I saw them tonight.  That's how I found out, you know?  I was walking by a restaurant and saw them out together.  Abbie saw me through the window and raced outside.  She panicked.  She was fidgeting and stuttering.  Those were two things that Abbie Carmichael never did.  I asked her to have enough courtesy to tell me the truth... and being the honest Texan that she was...she admitted it right then and there."  
  
"Ouch."  
  
"The ironic thing is that she was there making sure that the woman knew that it was only a one night stand and nothing more...that she was committed to me.  Some commitment."  
  
"Well... at least that explains why you lost it when you saw Pearce at the restaurant."  
  
After a long pause, Serena spoke again.  "Why do people cheat, Olivia?"  
  
Olivia shrugged her shoulders.  "Lots of reasons.  Sometimes for no reason at all."  
  
"You ever cheat?"  
  
Olivia nodded slowly.  Serena was surprised.  "I was young and stupid.  I don't have an excuse for it.  The relationship was doomed from the start and I wanted out, but I still could have handled it better."  
  
"Would you ever cheat again?"  
  
Olivia’s response was immediate.  "Absolutely not.  I learned my lesson.  To be honest with you, I don't think I could even if I had the urge.  Alex is the first woman that I've ever really loved.  I can't imagine ever doing something to hurt her that way.  I don't think I could take her being that disappointed in me."  
  
"You're a good woman Olivia."  
  
"So is Pearce."  
  
"I know that...now.  I knew it before."  
  
"Then don't make her pay for someone else's mistake.  She's not Abbie or anyone else from your past.  She's just Pearce."  Olivia picked up her mug and took a sip.  "So, stop being a chicken shit and just be happy with the woman."  
  
Serena chuckled.  "I was wondering where Alex had picked up that lovely phrase."  
  
"She teaches me about classical music.  I teach her classic phrases.  It's an even trade."  
  
They both enjoyed a good laugh before Serena turned serious again.  "I think I might have ruined any chance of Pearce and I being happy together."  
  
"Is it true that she was there to tell her father about you?"  
  
"Yes.  I learned that little detail shortly after I threw a drink in her face."  
  
Olivia tossed her head back and laughed.  Serena scowled at her.   "I'm sorry, Serena.  But you have to admit that it's funny." 

 

Serena had to laugh at herself. 

 

"Look... I know for a fact that Pearce and her father don't always see eye to eye.  So, if she was telling him about you, you mean a lot to her.  That doesn't just go away because you have a fight.  She's had time to cool off.  Go up there and talk to her."  
  
"And say what?"  
  
"I'm sorry I thought you were screwing around.  I'm sorry I threw a drink in your face. I'm thinking that anything beginning with I'm sorry would be a good start."  Olivia said with a smirk.  
  
"She's not going to forgive me that easily."  
  
"Yes she will."  Olivia smiled.  "Pearce is a lot like me.  She's a sucker for a pretty blonde with blue eyes."  
  
With a little more coaching from Olivia, Serena found herself standing in front of Pearce's door.  She glanced at her watch again.   _It's two in the morning.  This is ridiculous._   She turned to walk away, but forced herself to turn back around.   _No.  You have to do this now._ __  
  
She rang the doorbell once, then twice.  After the fourth time, she turned to leave.  She paused when she heard the unmistakable sound of the sliding locks.  The door slowly opened and a disheveled Pearce came into view.  She never said anything.  She just stared at Serena.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"It's late."  
  
"I know.  I...I needed to talk to you."  
  
Pearce stepped further into view; one hand on the door the other on the door frame blocking the entrance.  "Now you want to talk?"  
  
"Pearce, I know you're angry and you have every right to be...."  
  
"Wow! Thank you so much, Serena, for giving me permission to be upset."  Pearce snapped.  
  
"I deserved that."  Serena replied.  "Look...I just... I want to explain...if you'll let me."  
  
"You didn't allow me to explain."  
  
"I know I was an ass.  I'll admit that, but... I'm trying to make it right.  Please Pearce."  
  
Pearce appeared to be considering her options.  A few moments later, she stepped aside and allowed Serena to enter.  
  
Serena walked in and looked around the living room.  There was a blanket and pillow on the sofa.  She found it odd.  She knew Pearce hated sleeping on that sofa.  She always said that it was uncomfortable.  She looked back at Pearce.  
  
"Couldn't sleep...sheets smelled like you." Pearce mumbled as she shuffled her feet.   
  
"Pearce, I'm sorry for what happened last night.  I was wrong to assume the worst and speak to you that way."  
  
Pearce stood a few feet away, arms folded defensively over her chest.  It was obvious how closed off she was.  "I don't cheat Serena.  It's not my style.  If I'm with you, then I'm with you.  If I'm not, then I'm not."  
  
"I know.  I just...freaked out for a minute."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You scare me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You'd be a really good attorney, you know that?"   
  
Pearce was giving no attention to Serena's attempt at humor.  "Why?"  
  
"Because..."  Serena paused and Pearce waited. 

 

"Because...I love you so much." Serena managed to choke out over a sob.  
  
Pearce nodded slowly.  This wasn't the ideal way she would have liked to have heard Serena say those words, but she'd take it.   "And the thought of loving me scares you?"  
  
Serena wiped her eyes and wrung her hands.  "The last time I let myself love someone this much....it didn't end well.  And the fact that I love you even more...is terrifying.  I just don't think I could survive another heartbreak like that."   
  
Pearce considered this for a moment.  "Someone hurt you that badly?"    
  
Serena nodded.  She kept her eyes to the floor not wanting Pearce to see the tears that continued to fall.  It was pointless though.  Pearce had already seen them.  She took a step closer and bent down to look Serena in the eyes.  
  
"And you think I'd do the same thing to you?"  
  
Serena turned her eyes to the ceiling.  "I don't want to believe that."  
  
Pearce gently took her face in her hands pulling the blonde’s gaze back to her own.  "So what am I supposed to do with that?  After all this time, you still don't trust me.  What do you want from me, Serena?"  
  
"I…I don’t know.”

 

“Yes, you do.”

 

“I… I need you to help me."  
  
"Help you?"  
  
"Yes.  I need you to help me not be a chicken shit anymore."  
  
Pearce almost laughed in spite of her anger.  "What?"  
  
"Alex and Olivia say that I'm being a chicken shit about my feelings for you and I'm making you pay for Abbie's mistake."  
  
"I assume this Abbie is the someone who hurt you?"  
  
"You could say that."  
  
 "So..."  Pearce was having a hard time keeping a straight face.  "How am I supposed to help you not be a...chicken shit?"  
  
 Serena smiled slightly.  She couldn't help it.   Pearce sounded so strange saying something like chicken shit with her accent.  
  
"Well, you first allow me to apologize profusely.  Then, I'm sure there will be groveling...and you could put me back in check when I get a little crazy."  
  
Pearce nodded slowly and waited for the apology.  "So..."  
  
Serena took a deep breath.   "I know I was wrong to insult you and accuse you of something I know you wouldn't…couldn’t do.  I am so sorry for that.  I also know that it was wrong of me to insult your father. He's your father and I should have never called him a...pompous ass."  
  
"Actually, I think you got that part right."  Serena looked up surprised.  Pearce smirked.  "My father is a pompous ass."  
  
"Although I'm certain that your father will never forgive me or even like me...will you forgive me?"  
  
Pearce simply stood there dragging the moment out.  She was making Serena squirm, but she needed to be sure.    
  
"Serena, I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me."  
  
"I do trust you, Pearce.”

 

Pearce raised a brow.  “Really?  Because it didn’t seem that way.” 

 

Serena sighed.  “I know, this isn’t about you, not really.  It's more about trusting myself again."  
  
After another long pause, Pearce finally took the last step forward.  She lifted Serena's chin.  "In that case... I have no choice but… to forgive you."  
  
Serena blinked.  "Really?"  
  
"Really."   Pearce smiled softly and pulled her into a hug.  
  
Serena melted into the strong arms around her and held on as tight as she could.  "I really am sorry...especially about your father."  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about my father.  He doesn't like me all that much either.  Now, we have one more thing in common."  
  
They both shared a much needed laugh.  Pearce looked down at her and shook her head.  "Life with you is going to be very eventful isn't it, Ms. Southerlyn?"  
  
_Life?_ Serena smiled relieved that Pearce had forgiven her.  "At least now you know that you won't get bored with me."  
  
"I never thought I would.  Serena...."  She paused to look into blue eyes.  "I'm not going to hurt you...not if I can help it."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"Yeah and I'm going to trust you."  
  
Pearce nodded and held her a little tighter.   "Pearce?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"This was like our first real fight wasn't it?"  
  
Pearce pulled back to look at her.  "I don't know if I would call it a fight.  You did most of the arguing.  I was just the one getting wet."  
  
"Are you wet now?"  Serena asked in a husky voice.  
  
"What?" Pearce asked missing the innuendo.  
  
Serena leaned in placing her mouth next to the doctor’s ear.  "Pearce, we argued at the restaurant...then made up just now.  I think that means we can have real make-up sex."  
  
"OH.  Oh!!"  Pearce grinned when it dawned on her what Serena was suggesting.  "Yes, that was a dreadful... awful fight.  I was deeply wounded so I would definitely say that make-up sex is in order.  You have quite a bit to make-up for, Counselor.  This could take hours."  
  
"That was my plan."  Serena took her by the hand and pulled her towards the bedroom.  
  
Pearce grinned.  "I do love a woman with a plan."  
  
Serena stopped abruptly. "You do love me...don't you?"  It was more of a statement rather than a question.  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"Could you say it again?"  
  
"I love you, Serena... very much."  
  
Serena's smile was as bright as a Time’s Square.  "Good.  It's nice that we're in this together... because I love you too."  
  
The figure stood down the hallway glaring at the closed penthouse door. 

 

“ _You’re _going to pay for this you bitch!”__

 ****  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven** ****  
  
The next week proved to be an intense and exhausting one for Olivia.  The squad had been working around the clock to make a case against Mark Ross, but they were running into wall after wall along the way.  They all knew that Ross was their guy but finding his partner was another story.  It was as if he didn't exist at all.  With Ross unwilling to talk and the lack of concrete evidence, the case was coming to a critical standstill.  It wasn't until they got new information from the lab that they saw a glimmer of hope.  
  
Alex, Olivia, and Elliot were already in the interrogation room when Ross and his attorney arrived.  Alex wasn't the slightest bit surprised that Trevor Langan was representing him.  Paramount Security was a large business and they would surely want to avoid a scandal.    
  
Olivia growled as she saw Langan ogle Alex as he and Ross sat down across from her.  She took a step forward and stood just behind where Alex was seated.  Ross was in cuffs but she wanted to be close in case he tried anything.  Although she loved to watch Alex do her job, she never got comfortable with the idea of her girlfriend being so close to murderers and rapist.  
  
"Alexandra, you look wonderful as always."  Trevor said allowing his eyes to roam over Alex's lithe figure.  
  
Olivia rolled her eyes.   _When is this asshat going to get a clue?_ __  
  
"Mr. Langan. Mr. Ross."  Alex addressed them dismissively.  
  
Sensing Alex's all business tone, Langan slipped into his usual arrogant demeanor. 

 

"You have nothing on my client, Counselor.  You need to drop this and save the tax payer's money as well as your own embarrassment."  
  
"If anyone should be concerned with embarrassment, it should be you.  Your client is guilty and I'm going to prove it like I always do."  
  
"Fine.  If you're so sure, why are we even here?"  
  
"I think it would be in your client's best interest to talk to me.  That's why we are here."  
  
"The People are ready to make a deal already?  I smell weakness." Langan said smugly.  
  
"Don't be silly, Trevor.  That's not weakness you smell.  That's your horrid taste in cologne." Alex shot back.    
  
Elliot didn't even try to hide his smirk as he looked at Olivia.  Alexandra Cabot  _did_  know how to emasculate a man.  Cabot was pure ice today.  He could have sworn that he felt the temperature drop a few degrees.  
  
Langan wasn't amused.  "My client isn't saying a word."  
  
"Even if he could avoid the death penalty?"  Alex asked calmly.  Olivia looked up in surprise.  She hadn't expected that so soon.  
  
"My client is innocent. We don't need a deal."  
  
"Your client is guilty as sin and you know it...so do we.  We have him making contact with the victims the same day of the attacks."  Alex laid out several papers listing the time and dates.  "We have the rope that the medical examiner has determined to be the same type used to strangle the victims."  
  
"Everything you have is purely circumstantial.  It means nothing."  
  
"You didn't allow me to finish.  We also have DNA connecting your client to one of the victims."  Alex opened a folder which held information on Stacia Colbert.  
  
Trevor looked at the papers.  "There was nothing in the rape kit that implicated my client."  
  
"Traces of her blood was found on the knife that was hidden at your client's house.  There is nothing circumstantial about DNA."  She looked directly at Ross.  "I'm going to ask you this only once, Mr. Ross, because I'm seriously losing my patience with you.  I want the name of your partner.  I want to know who was helping you with these attacks."  
  
"This is ridiculous.  We're done here."  Trevor said gathering his things.  
  
"Fine by me.  I don't care who gets the needle as long as someone goes down...and someone _will_ go down."  She glared at Ross with icy eyes.  "Either you talk or I nail your sorry ass to the wall all alone.  It's your choice."  
  
Alex was uncharacteristically angry today.  Every time she looked at Ross, she thought about how he'd bruised her beloved's face.  It pissed her off every single time.  
  
Ross looked back and forth between his lawyer and the Assistant District Attorney.  Langan looked a bit unsettled while Alex wasn't even sweating.  
  
"Make me a deal."  Ross said quietly.  
  
"You give me a name first."  
  
"I want the needle off the table or I won't talk."  
  
Alex stared at him for a moment.  "If your information checks out, the death penalty is off the table.  I'll only go for life in prison."  
  
"Shit lady!  What's the fucking difference?!"  Ross slammed his fist onto the table causing Alex to jump.  Olivia stepped closer and leaned into Ross' space.  
  
"You do that again and I'll shove that fist so far down your throat, it will quench your thirst."  Olivia said through clenched teeth.  
  
Alex simply held up her hand.   "It's alright, Detective Benson."  She turned her attention back to Langan and his client.  "The difference, Mr. Ross, is that you get to continue breathing which is more than you gave your victims."  
  
"I didn't murder those women.  That part wasn't my doing."  He said barely above a whisper.  
  
"That's it.  This meeting is over."  Trevor said trying to keep his client from saying anything more.  
  
Ross ignored him.  "I didn't kill the first four girls."  
  
The room fell silent.  Elliot glanced over Olivia who seemed to be just as surprised. Was Ross about to confess?  
  
"Mark, don't say anything more.  We are done here."  Trevor warned.  
  
"Shut up, you over paid pansy!  I'll say what I fucking want!"  
  
Alex remained cool.  "Not that I believe you, but if you didn't kill those women, who did?"  
  
Ross looked up at Alex for a long moment.  "Allen Flint"  
  
"Is that name supposed to mean something to us?  Was he your partner?"  
  
"My father."  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve** ****  
  
Silence engulfed the room as disbelief and confusion was felt by all around.  
  
"Are you telling me that your partner in these crimes was your  _own_  father?"   
  
"I wouldn't call him my partner...but that's basically the gist of it."  
  
"And how did this...partnership between you and Allen Flint come about?"  
  
"I already told you.  It wasn't a partnership.  I barely knew him."  
  
"I'm afraid I'm not following, Mr. Ross."  Alex said with skepticism.  
  
"I was in and out foster care my whole life.  My mother was a junkie that couldn't seem to keep herself together long enough to raise me.  I never really knew why.   I really didn't care.  I just wanted to get the hell away from her.  So, when I was old enough, I did some digging and found out who my father was.  Looking back, that was probably the biggest mistake I ever made."  
  
Ross shifted uneasily in his seat.  He kept his eyes down the entire time he spoke.  "Anyway, I found out that he was some guy that my mom had dated for a while.  Turns out...when she wouldn't give it up, he raped her.  She got knocked up and I was the prize."  
  
Alex glanced to her right and saw that Olivia had turned her back.  Her heart went out to her, but she knew she had a job to do.  She cleared her throat and continued questioning Ross.  
  
"You said that this man was responsible for the earlier attacks.  Where is Allen Flint now?"  
  
"Dead"  
  
"That's awfully convenient, don't you think?"  
  
"It's the truth."  
  
Alex was unsure of the validity of his information, but continued.  "So how is it that you became involved in these crimes with a man you didn't even know?"  
  
"I tracked him down.  I don't know why.  I just had to... I had to see him.  When I found him, he was really sick."  He finally looked up at Alex.  "Tell me Counselor, what is it about the prospect of dying that makes people want to confess?"  He laughed sadistically.  It sent shivers down Alex's spine.  "I guess I'm doing the same thing, aren't I?"  
  
Alex never answered.  Ross continued.  "He told me everything.  He even told me about my mother.  The son of a bitch was proud of it.  He was glad that I'd found him....said he could see himself in me, that I'd end up just like him.  It was strange.  I looked like him.  I had his eyes...hands...same tendencies.  The only thing left was for me to finish his life's work."  
  
"You consider raping and killing women to be your father's life work?"  Alex asked in disbelief.  
  
"Why not?  It's what he did best."  
  
Olivia clenched her jaw.  She could feel the bile rising in her throat.  She made herself stand there and listen even though everything inside her was telling her to flee.  
  
"So your claim is that the earlier attacks were your father, Allen Flint's doing."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"This is quite a story Mr. Ross.  How do we know that you're not just making this up in a futile attempt to save yourself?"  
  
"I can prove it."  
  
Alex raised a brow.  "How?"  
  
"I have his book."  
  
"What book?"  
  
"He liked to keep track of things.  He kept a book with the names....dates... what he liked about them."  
  
Alex felt her skin crawl.  Elliot shook his head in disgust.  
  
"If Allen Flint was responsible for the rape and murder of the earlier victims, that still leaves the last three rapes."  
  
Ross took a deep breath.  "That was me.  I told you before.  I didn't kill anybody."  
  
"No. You just raped them."  Alex replied with disgust.  "You decided to pick up where Allen Flint left off after you learned the truth about him and yourself.  Why?  Why not just forget about him and go back to the life you had before?"  
  
"What life?  What did I have to go back to after finding out the truth? A mother who didn't want me in the first place?  My life was over the day I found out what I was…a mistake."    
  
Ross was almost like a robot.  He spoke with no emotion at all.  "Do you know what it feels like to find out that the only reason you exist in the world is because of rape?  I do.  My entire life I always wondered why I was so angry...violent even.  When I found him, I got my answer.  It all made sense."  He leaned across the table and lowered his voice.  "It's inside me. He's inside me.  I'm him. Like father, like son."  
  
Olivia couldn't take anymore.  She quietly slipped out the door.  
  
"I'm stopping this interview.  It's obvious that my client is under duress and is in need of psychological help."  
  
Elliot stared in complete shock.  "That's an understatement."  
  
"You got your name.  I expect you to honor your deal, Cabot."  
  
"We'll need your client to submit that book as well as a DNA sample to prove that any of this is the truth.  We'll need to exhume Allen Flint's body for DNA as well.  If this information turns out to be valid, your client will rot in prison instead of a pine box."  
  
"Clearly the best place for my client isn't prison, but rather a mental facility."  
  
Alex glanced at Elliot.  They both knew where this was heading.  Langan was going to try to get Ross off by claiming mental defect or disease.  
  
 "Last time I checked being a child of rape didn't give your client a right to rape others.  He's going to prison."  
  
"We'll let a jury decide that.  You'll have my motion for a full psychological evaluation by morning."  Langan said ending the interview.  
  
As Langan and Ross were led out, Alex turned to find Olivia gone.  She got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.   
   
"Where is Olivia?"  Alex asked Cragen as she exited the room.  
  
Cragen shook her head sadly.  "I tried to stop her but she said she needed to be alone.  She wouldn't say where she was going."  
  
Alex sighed heavily, running her hand through her hair.  "God Olivia....where are you?"  
  
  
Olivia sat at the bar staring down into the tumbler of brown alcohol in front of her.   She knew that she shouldn't be drinking.  She'd sworn that she would always be careful to never become the alcoholic that her mother had.  Up until today, she had been successful; drinking only a beer or two with the guys or a class of wine with Alex.  Now, she was sitting alone in a bar working her way through her fourth hard drink.  Yet, it didn't seem to be helping.  No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get Mark Ross or his words out of her head.  
  
_Like father, like son...... I was going to end up just like him.......Do you know what it feels like to know that your only reason for existing is because of rape.......I do._ _  
_  
Olivia shut her eyes and gulped down the entire drink in one swallow.  She signaled for another.  Just as she was about to take another drink, she felt a hand on her arm stopping her.  
  
"That's not going to make it go away.  You know that."  
  
Olivia glanced over at Elliot then back to her drink.  She tossed the liquid down her throat with little reaction.  "Go away, Elliot."  
  
"I'm not going to let you do this, Liv."  
  
"I can't even take a drink now.  What are you, my fucking babysitter?"  
  
"You have a good life, Liv.  You have a woman at home that loves the hell out of you.  Go home and talk to her."  
  
"I need to be alone with this, Elliot."  
  
"Liv, she's worried sick about you.  You've been gone all day.  You haven't been answering your phone.  We're all worried."  
  
"Worried?  You should all be thrilled.  We got our guy.  Counselor Cabot has an iron clad case against him.  It's an easy win.  There isn't a jury in the country that wouldn't convict that monster."  
  
"You know Alex isn't concerned about that."  
  
"She should be.  Ross is a serial rapist just like his father.  He should be locked away before he does what comes naturally to him and ruins another poor woman's life."  Olivia said starting back on her drink.  
  
"Liv, you're not like Mark Ross."  
  
"You don't know what I am."  She turned and looked at him with a deadness in her eyes.  "Maybe I'm just biding my time until I turn out to be just like my old man."  
  
"You know that's not true."  
  
"If I knew that I wouldn't be here."  
  
"Liv...."  
  
"Go....away....Elliot."  She gave him a glare that told him there was no reasoning with her.  "I'm a big girl.  I can handle it."  
  
"I'm not leaving you like this."  He took a seat on the stool next to her.  "If you want to get drunk as a skunk, that's fine; but I'm not leaving here until you do."  
  
"Well, you better get comfortable.  It's going to be a long night."  
  
  
Back at home, Alex sat in front of the fireplace and stared at the Christmas tree and wondered how things could have changed so much in such little time.  Two weeks ago, she and Olivia were planning their first Christmas together, putting up a tree and just enjoying life.  Now she sat alone, wondering where Olivia was and if she was alright.  
  
She always knew that Olivia had her inner demons, her biggest being the reality of her own conception.  It wasn't something they talked about often.   When it came up, Alex always managed to convince Olivia that none of that mattered to her.  She could always make Olivia see the difference between herself and the man who fathered her.  Alex's mind drifted back to the night she'd learned the cause of so much of Olivia's pain.  It was long before they'd become a couple.  They were becoming good friends even though the attraction was there.  They were out to dinner celebrating the end of the Darrell Guan case.  
  
_"You're not eating.  We could go somewhere else if you'd like."_ _  
_  
_"No, it's fine.  This place is...really nice and the food if great.  I'm... I'm just not all that hungry."_ _  
_  
_"Is something wrong?"_ __  
  
"No.  It's just been a rough few weeks, ya know."  
  
"That is has, Detective.  This case took a toll on everyone, but it seemed to bother you the most.  Why is that?"  
  
"I don't know.  I guess this guy just got me."  
  
"It's strange isn't it? Someone using their genetic makeup, inheritance so to speak as an excuse for their criminal behavior."  
  
"So you don't believe it?"  
  
"Did you even listen to my closing argument today?"  
  
"I listened.  Did you mean what you said?"  
  
"Of course I did.  Are you saying that you don't agree?"  
  
"No.  I'm just saying that sometimes people....especially kids are affected by the sins of their parents."  
  
"Please don't tell me that you actually buy that whole sins of the father revisited upon the son bit."  
  
"I'm not saying that I buy it.  I just think that Darrell Guan's life would have been completely different had he never found out that his father was a rapist."  
  
"That's quite possible, but it still wouldn't have changed the fact that his father was indeed a rapist....whether he knew it or not.   If the tendency to rape really is genetic, it wouldn't have mattered if he didn't know.  So, to me, that means it's about choices.  Darrell Guan chose to take that path in life because of the knowledge of what his father had done, not because rape is hereditary.   We all have choices, Olivia.   Sometimes they're right, other times wrong.  Yet, we make them just the same.  It's not about genetics or what our parents do or don't do."  
  
"You really believe that don't you?"  
  
"Look at it this way.  If that theory is true, we are all doomed at birth.  Every criminal's child is predestined to be a criminal.  Every alcoholic would have alcoholic children.  We both know that is a complete load of bull.   We've seen kids who come out of the most horrific situations and yet they choose to make their lives better from which they came.  It all comes back to choices."  
  
"You think it's that easy....to just make a choice?"  
  
"You don't?"  
  
"I think growing up watching my own mother suffer just like Darrell Guan's mother wasn't easy at all."  
  
Alex paused for a moment trying to make sense of what she had just heard.  Olivia sensed her confusion and continued.  
  
"My mother was raped when she was in college.  She got pregnant and decided to keep the baby....just like Darrell Guan's mother."  
  
Alex blinked.  "I didn't know you had a sibling."  
  
"I don't.  I'm an only child, Alex."  Olivia said softly allowing the implication to hang in the air between them.  
  
"I didn't know."  
  
"Most people don't.  It's easier that way."  
  
"I'm glad you told me."   Alex tilted her head slightly as she studied Olivia.  "That's the real reason you joined SVU isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah.  Still thinks it's a good idea to be friends with someone like me?"  
  
"Let's see....."  Alex pretended to think.  "You're honest, caring, intelligent, and you're the only member of the squad who doesn't actually hate me.  Why wouldn't I want to be friends with you?  Besides, I'm a Cabot.  I only surround myself with the best."  
  
"Don't make jokes, Alex."  
  
"I'm not joking.  This doesn't change what I think of you, Olivia.  If anything, it makes me respect you even more as a person.  And by the way, you just made my case for me, Detective."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You choose to get up every morning and do a job that helps so many people....a job most people can't do.  You choose to do good in the world; to be strong, honest, and loyal.  You choose to be the most compassionate and understanding person that I know.  You've made a choice; a choice that Darrell Guan had the chance to make as well.  He just made the wrong choice."  She paused and looked at Olivia for a moment.  "Yes, rape can and does ruin lives.  And the man who raped your mother did something horrible.  But even in his hateful rage, he gave the world an amazing gift."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You."  
  
Alex's thoughts drifted back to the present.  She looked out the window at the snow falling slowly outside.  She turned when she heard the door open.  Brown eyes met blue.  
  
"I was worried about you."  
  
"I'm sorry.... I just... I needed to be alone for a while."  
  
"You didn't drive did you?"  Alex asked noticing Olivia's slurred speech.  
  
"Elliot dropped me off.  I'm sure he called and told you that he found me."  
  
"He told me he knew where you'd be.  That's all."  
  
"I'm sorry I worried you then."  
  
"Liv...."  
  
Olivia raised a hand.  "Alex...not now okay."  
  
"But...."  
  
"I said not now!" Olivia's voice echoed throughout the room.  Alex simply stared at her.  Olivia instantly felt remorse.  "I'm sorry."  She softened her tone.  "Look....I'm home now.  You should just go to bed.  I'm sure you have an early day tomorrow with the Ross hearing."  
  
"That's not important now."    
  
"It is to me.  I need you to make sure he pays for what he did.  So go get some rest."  
  
Alex could hear the finality in Olivia's voice.  Olivia had shut down and that was that.  "Are you coming to bed?"  
  
"In a little while."  
  
"Liv....."  
  
"Go on. I'm fine."  
  
Alex nodded.  "I'm here if you want to talk to me, Olivia.  Nothing has changed."  
  
Olivia never looked at her.  "Good night, Alex."  
  
"Good night."    
  
Alex took one last look over her shoulder.  Her heart sank when she saw her taking a bottle out of the liquor cabinet.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen  
**  
"I can't believe we're going to get to go out at a reasonable hour and spend the night together uninterrupted like a normal couple.  What did you have to do in order to make this happen?"  
  
"I’m the Chief of Surgery.  I took myself off rotation and Dr. Wagner is covering the ER.  Of course I had to promise him something in return."  Pearce shrugged her shoulders as Serena's raised brow.  "Don't worry.  It's only going to cost me a kidney."  
  
Serena laughed, but could see something more behind Pearce's smile.  "Hey, are you okay?  You've been a little...I don't know...off since you got here.  Did something happen at the hospital today?"  
  
"Something always happens at the hospital."  
  
"Was it your father?  He's not giving you a hard time because of how I behaved at the restaurant that night, is he?"  
  
Pearce shook her head and kissed her cheek.  "No, baby.  And I already told you to forget about that night.  It's nothing."  
  
"Just a rough day then?"  
  
"You could say that.  I had a pretty bad case that involved a child.  I hate those."  
  
"You want to talk about it?"  
  
Pearce shook her head.  "I'm fine.  I think I'd rather just forget about it."  She quickly changed subjects not wanting to think about the day she'd had.  "So, what do you want to do tonight?  I promised to take you to dinner anywhere you wanted remember?"  
  
Serena tilted her head and looked at her for a moment.  She knew that Pearce was avoiding talking about work.  She could also sense that Pearce wasn’t really up for a night out.   
  
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'd like to just hang out here and do nothing."  
  
Pearce pretended to think it over.  "Nothing.  Hmm....sounds exciting.  I think I could manage to do nothing."  
  
"Or..."  
  
"Or?"  
  
"Or we could do nothing....in the bedroom." Serena ran her eyes over Pearce seductively.  
  
Pearce flashed her a dimpled smile.  "I love doing nothing with you in the bedroom.  It's my favorite  _nothing_  activity."  
  
Serena took her by the hand and led her down the hall.  "Good, because I have something that I would like to....."  
  
They both stopped dead in their tracks at the sound of Serena's doorbell.  Pearce looked at her expectantly.  Serena shrugged.  
  
"Don't look at me.  I don't have to be back until Monday."  
  
"Well, I seriously doubt that it's someone for me.  No one knows that I'm here."  
  
Serena considered pretending not being home, but her responsible side won out.   "Go wait for me in the bedroom while I get rid of whoever this is.  I still plan on doing  _nothing_ with you."  
  
Pearce laughed as Serena pushed her down the hall.  Serena went to the door and looked through the peep hole.  
  
"Alex?"  She looked down at herself and made sure her shirt was straightened then opened the door.  "Alex, what are you..."  Seeing the state of her friend surprised Serena.  "Alex, what's wrong?"  
  
"I'm losing her, Serena and I don't know what to do."  Alex said full of emotion.  
  
Serena took her hand and guided her inside.  "Come in and sit.  Then you can tell me what's going on."  
  
Pearce could hear Alex speaking and suddenly felt like an intruder.  She walked out of the bedroom and cleared her throat letting Alex know that she and Serena were not alone.  Alex looked back and forth between Pearce and Serena and instantly felt bad.  
  
"I'm so sorry guys.  I'm totally ruining your evening.  I'll just go."  
  
She moved to stand, but Pearce placed a hand on her shoulder guiding her back to the sofa.  "You're not ruining anything.  Serena and I were just hanging out doing...nothing."  She shot a quick glance to Serena.  "But...I just remembered something that I need to do."  
  
Serena looked disappointed when she saw Pearce gathering her coat.  She walked her to the door.    
  
"I really don't want you to go."  
  
"I know.  I really don't want to leave, but I think Alex needs you a little more than I do right now."  
  
"You're much more understanding than I would be about this."  
  
Pearce grinned.  "I know.  I've seen your temper remember?"  
  
Serena playfully punched her arm before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.  She closed the door behind her then turned back to face Alex.  She could see her friend about to apologize.  She held up her hand and stopped her.  
  
"Don't apologize.  It's fine really.  But if you don't mind me saying...you don't look fine at all."  Serena said worriedly.   "What's going on?"  
  
"I'm worried about Olivia."  
  
"Was she hurt?"  
  
"No, nothing like that."  
  
"Then what is it?"  
  
"It's this damn Ross case.  It's gotten to Liv in a way that I can't even explain.  She won't talk to me.  She won't even talk to Elliot. It's like she's shut herself off from all of us.  She's going out drinking every night."  
  
"Wait.  Olivia is drinking again?"  Serena was genuinely surprised.  She knew how serious Olivia was about her sobriety.  
  
"She's drinking to try to forget."  She ran her hand through her hair.  "But it's not working.  Every time I try to talk to her, she completely shuts down.  I... I don't know what to do.  I feel like everything is falling apart."  
  
"The Ross case....you guys are going after him for those serial rapes right.  What makes this case so different?"  
  
"Mark Ross claims that he committed the rapes because he's his father's son."  Alex said quietly.  
  
"His father was a rapist too."  Serena said as things started to fall into place.  "That's why she's such a mess.   She's comparing herself to him isn't she?"  Alex simply nodded.  "She doesn't really believe that, does she?"  
  
Alex looked at Serena with sad eyes.  "Serena, she's so afraid that she's going to turn out like him."  
  
Serena reached out and took her hand.  "That's not possible.  Olivia could never hurt anyone."  
  
"I know that... and that's what I keep telling her over and over again.  But I can't seem to get through to her."  
  
"Maybe she just needs some time to process it and get past it."  
  
"Maybe...but it's so hard to see her like this.  She's in pain and...."  
  
"And you just want to take the pain away."  Serena finished.  
  
"I love her."  
  
"I know you do, sweetie but this is something that Olivia has to make peace with on her own.  The only thing you can do is be here when she's ready to come to you."  
  
"And what if she never does?  What then?"  
  
Serena had no easy answer for the question.  "Just give her some time.  Olivia and you love each other.  I watched you two dance around one another for years before either of you were ready to commit.  What you two have is real and it can survive this.  It's going to be okay.  I know it."   
  
Serena pulled her into a hug and held her tight.  "I'm so sorry that I ruined your night with Pearce.  I should have called first."  
  
Serena pulled back and shook her head.  "You didn't ruin anything.  Pearce and I can hang out anytime."  
  
"Liar.  Between Pearce's crazy hours and your own, a night alone is rare."  Alex smiled weakly.  
  
Serena smiled as well.  "You're right, but you're my best friend and that means you get to cry on my shoulder whenever you want.  Now come on.  Let's go make some tea and we can talk this out some more."  
  
Across town, Olivia sat alone in the local bar staring down into her drink.  The past couple of weeks had been her worst.  The Mark Ross case was coming to a close.  After pleading guilty, Ross had given them the information they needed on his late father in exchange for forty years in prison.  Alex had initially pushed for life, but was fairly satisfied knowing that Ross would spend the better years of his life rotting in prison.  One would think that all would have been happy, but they weren't.  Listening to Mark Ross describe each crime in detail had been difficult for all of them to stomach, but even more for Olivia.  
  
So for yet another night, she had come here to quiet her demons.  She had found herself here every night since this entire nightmare began.  Like always, the drinking would only numb her...but changed nothing.  The only thing it seemed to be doing was pushing her and Alex farther apart.  They hadn't spoken in days and Olivia could see Alex walking on egg shells around her.  The idea of Alex being afraid of her cut her deeper than anything.    
  
Olivia knew that Alex hated it when she drank heavily.  It brought back painful memories for the ADA.  Very few knew that the late Alexander Fitzgerald Cabot III had a secret drinking problem; even some of his own family were unaware.  That was something that Olivia hated that they had in common.  They had both grown up with an alcoholic parent.  Now, it appeared that they were reliving the past.  Her life was spinning out of control, but Olivia couldn't seem to stop it.

"Fancy running into you here."    


Olivia turned to see Pearce approaching her.  "Alex send you?"

  
"Why would you think that?" 

  
Olivia shrugged her shoulders.  "Just a question."  
  
  
"Actually...I needed to forget ninety percent of what I saw today."  
  
  
Olivia snorted.  "What could you possibly need to forget…a broken leg...heart attack?"  
  
Pearce signaled the bartender for a drink.  "I'll have whatever she's having." She turned back to Olivia.  "Well, let's see.  I performed surgery on a premature baby because he was born with his lungs on the outside of his body rather than the inside.  That was courtesy of his mother's cocaine addiction.  He died by the way.  Then I had to tell a mother and father that their nine year old daughter would be a vegetable for the remainder of her life because her body simply couldn't take the trauma caused by the car that mowed her down while she was riding her bike a few feet from her home."  She took a long sip of her drink wincing as it went down.  "And believe it or not.... that was all before noon."  
  
"Sorry.  I guess I forgot that you docs see about as much as we do."  Olivia paused.  "So why aren't you with Serena after a day like that.”?  
  
"Why aren't you with Alex?"  
  
"Touché"  
  
"Why are you really here all alone, Olivia?"  
  
"Let's just say that my rough days have turned into weeks with no end in sight. And I can't ask Alex to understand something that I can't even understand myself."  
  
"You want to talk about it with me?"  
  
"Do you want to talk about your problems, Doc?"  Olivia shot back a little colder than she intended.  
  
"I don't have to.  I've made my peace with what I do.  I know that I can't save them all, but I do the best I can.  Sometimes that helps me sleep better at night.  Sometimes it doesn't come close.  You, on the other hand, obviously haven't.  You also have a very worried partner at Serena's."  
  
"So, she did send you."  
  
"Not exactly.  She told Serena that she was worried about you.  Serena and I were spending the night in, but she seemed to need Serena's attentions more than me, and I had an idea where you’d be so…"  
  
"So, you sought me out for company.  Damn, you must be really desperate."  
  
"Ouch.  You don't pull any punches do you, Detective?"  
  
Olivia glanced at her.  "Sorry.  I didn't mean that.  I'm really not the best company right now."  
  
"That bottle of Jack you're working on sort of gave it away."  Pearce turned and looked at her.  "Look...I know I'm not Alex, but...if you want to talk, I'll listen.  No judgments....no quick solutions."  
  
A long silence fell between them.  Pearce was sure that Olivia was ignoring her and was simply biding her time until she was ready to leave.  Then out of the blue, Olivia asked her if she wanted to play a game of pool.  They took their drinks and started a game at the table across the room.

"Damn.  Is there anything you're not good at?"  Olivia asked slightly irritated that Pearce was beating her so badly.  
  
Pearce leaned down and lined up her next shot.  "Sure there is.  I don't seem to be very good at getting you to talk to me."  
  
Again a long silence fell between them.  Olivia finally gave up the silent treatment and started to talk.  
  
"I'm sure someone like you would never understand."  
  
"Someone like me?"  
  
"Yeah, you know... privileged proper upbringing...practically royalty in high society."  
  
"What was it that you said that you thought of me on our first and only date?"  
  
"You looked hot in those jeans."  Olivia quipped.  
  
Pearce squint her eyes.  "Olivia"  
  
"Alright, take it easy.  I said that you struck me as one of the most down to earth people I'd ever met...not a single pretentious or snobbish bone in your body."  
  
"See there.  Looks can be deceiving, Olivia.  So why don't you try me?  I might understand more than you think."  
  
Olivia considered the offer for a moment.  "Have you ever been afraid of what may be deep inside of you?"  
  
Pearce looked up and waited for elaboration.  Olivia dropped her eyes to the floor.  "I am so afraid of what might be inside of me...waiting to come out.  I'm afraid I'll turn out just like him."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"My father"  
  
"I thought you didn't know your father?"  
  
"I don't."  Olivia took a long swallow from her drink.  "The only thing I know about him is that he raped my mother and that's how I got here."  
  
Pearce was leaning over the table lining up her shot when the words flowed from Olivia's lips.  Olivia expected her to flinch and look at her with pity in her eyes.  But Pearce showed no reaction at all.  She glanced up and nodded before going back to her shot.  She planted the ball into the side pocket in one smooth stroke.  
  
"I imagine that could not have been easy for you to deal with as a child."  She said standing back upright.  She moved around the table in search of a better angle.  
  
"Yeah...still isn't."  
  
"What makes you think you're going to be anything like him?"  
  
"I don't know."  Olivia shrugged her shoulders in frustration.  "This case I've been working; the guy said that he became a rapist because his father had been a rapist.  Father like son."  
  
Pearce stood and leaned against the table.  "I can understand why you might feel that way, but I don't think we're doomed to be exactly like our parents. At least I pray to God that we aren't."  
  
Olivia snorted and sipped her drink.  "That's easy for you to say.  Your parents were normal.  An accomplished doctor and a..."  
  
"An absentee mother."  Pearce supplied flatly.  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
Pearce pushed herself off the table and went back to shooting pool.  "You know....for as long as I can remember, my father has never said that he loved me or even proud of me.  Hell, I'd be surprised if he even remembers my bloody birthday.  I was simply someone he could mold into his own image.  And as for my mother.... Well, you know just as much about her as I do.  She left her own child without a second thought.  If that's what you consider normal I don't want to be normal."  
  
"You can't possibly compare that to being the child of a rapist?"  
  
"I never said I was.  I was just pointing out that everybody has their own demons to deal with.  I could be a cold heartless bastard like my father, but I choose to be better than him.  And I'd like to hope that if I had a child that I'd never throw her away for my career."  
  
Olivia stared at her for a moment.  Although Pearce hid it well, Olivia was trained to read people.  She could hear the pain in the doctor's voice as she spoke of the mother she never knew.  
  
"You're afraid too....aren't you?"  
  
Pearce stood up straight and looked Olivia in the eyes.  "Every time I visit my grandmother, she asks me when I'm going to settle down and give her some great-grandchildren to adore before she dies.  She thinks I won't have children because I'm too career driven like my father or simply because I’m gay.  I can't bear to tell her that I'm too afraid to have a child and risk doing what my mother did."  
  
"That would never happen.  I think you'd be a great mother, Pearce."  Olivia said honestly.  
  
"And there is no doubt in my mind that you are nothing like the man who hurt your mother.  You're one of the most genuine and honorable people that I know regardless of who your father is, Olivia."  She leaned back over the table and lined up her next shot.   "But hearing it still isn't the same as believing it, is it?"  
  
"No, it isn't."  Olivia responded glad that Pearce seemed to understand that a simple talk wasn't going to make all right with the world again.  "But thanks for telling me."  
  
Pearce nodded.  She took her final stroke and watched the black eight ball sink into the far corner pocket.  She stood upright and smiled at Olivia.  "I think that means I win."  
  
"How did you get so good at pool?"  
  
"It's easy.  Pool is a lot like sex.  You have to stroke the cue just right to get the desired result."  She smiled slyly with a twinkle in her eyes.  "Well, I don't have to tell you this.  I've seen Alex smiling when she comes down for the Sunday morning paper."  
  
Olivia blushed slightly and Pearce laughed heartily.  "There's the Olivia I know.  I've always been able to make you blush.  Now...."  The placed the pool stick back on the rack.  "I think it's fair to say that I've beaten the crap out of you.  What do you say we grab a cab and head home?"  
  
Olivia looked down at her drink for a moment.  Pearce walked over and placed a hand on her arm.  "Trust me.   You're not going to find peace at the bottom of that glass.  You'll only find that at home."  
  
"I don't know how to talk to her right now.  I've screwed up so badly."  
  
"Maybe you don't have to say anything.  Sometimes it's enough just knowing that the one you love needs you."  
  
The cab ride was quiet.  Olivia realized that she'd had more to drink than she'd realized.  She lost her footing a couple of times and Pearce had to guide her through the door.   
  
Alex was curled up in the chair staring into the fireplace.  She stood when she saw them enter.  
  
"Thank God, Olivia. I was worried.  Are you alri..."  She stopped abruptly when she saw the state Olivia was in.  Her concern was quickly replaced with frustration as she addressed Pearce.  "How much had she had when you found her?"  
  
Pearce was a little unprepared for the abrupt question.  "I'm not really sure.  I think it's a mixture of that and exhaustion.  She should drink lots of water and go to bed."  
  
"Why are you two discussing me as if I'm not standing here?  I'm not a child."  Olivia interrupted.  
  
"Then maybe you shouldn't act like one."  A cool response came from Alex.  
  
"Excuse me."  Olivia shot her a look.  
  
Pearce looked back and forth between them and knew it was time for her to make her leave.  "Um...I'm going to go you guys. You two going to be alright?"  
  
"We'll be fine.  It's nothing out of the ordinary these days."    
  
Alex tore her eyes off of Olivia who had settled on the sofa.  She walked Pearce to the door.  
  
"I don't know how you found her, but thank you for bringing her home.  It seems like you keep coming to my rescue."  
  
"That's what friends are for."  
  
"You seem to be much better for her than I am.  I can't seem to do anything right.  She won't even talk to me."  
  
Pearce genuinely felt bad for her.  "Don't think like that, Alex.  She can talk to me because I'm not the one she loves.  Sometimes it's easier that way.  Just be patient with her.  She loves you and as long as she knows that you love her back, she still has something to hold on to."  
  
Alex nodded.  "Thank you."  
  
"Anytime."  Pearce squeezed her hand as she slipped out the door.  
  
Alex quietly closed the door behind her.  She took a deep breath then made her way over to the sofa.  She sat down next to Olivia.    
  
"Talk to me."  
  
"I... I can't."  
  
Alex remembered Pearce's advice about being patient.   "Okay, if you can't talk to me, I'll talk and you listen."   
  
Alex waited for Olivia to object.  When she didn't, she took that as a sign to continue.    
  
"Liv, I know that I can't understand what it must have been like for you.  I can't say that I know what it's like to carry that kind of burden on my shoulders every day.  But I can say that when you hurt..."  She struggled not to cry.  "....I hurt too.  I love you.... more than I've ever loved any single person in my entire life but I can't do this with you.  I can't watch you become my father."  
  
Olivia finally looked up at her.  Alex had started to cry.  "I loved him, but I hated the fact that he put my mother and me through hell.  Every single night, I'd hear him sneak downstairs and drink until he'd pass out...hoping that the next drink would make the problems go away.  But they never did... they only got worse.  And when he finally did get sober, our family was never the same.  I swore to myself that I'd never allow that kind of madness back into my life again, yet here I am.   Liv...I can't watch you go down that same road, nor will I go with you."  
  
Olivia didn't know how to respond.  She felt Alex's hands on her cheeks.  "It's so ironic.  Your biggest fear is that you'll become your father.  My biggest fear is that you'll become mine."  
  
"Alex...what are you saying?"  
  
"I'm saying...that you're breaking my heart.  You're not the only one hurting, Liv.  Don't you know that it kills me that I can't seem to help you with this.....that you would turn back to a bottle of booze rather than talk to me because you're afraid of what I might say or do?  And it hurts even more that you expect so little of me."  
  
"It's not about you." Olivia said quietly.  
  
"I know.  It's about you.  You think that something is wrong with you, but there isn't.  I just... I wish that you could see yourself the way I see you, just once.   Because if you did, you'd know that what you're so afraid of finding isn't there at all."  
  
Alex wiped her tears and stood up.  "I have an early arraignment.  I'm going to bed.  I hope you'll join me.  If not.....I'll see you in the morning."  
  
Without another word, Alex walked down the hall to the bedroom leaving Olivia alone to consider her words.  Olivia dropped her head back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen** ****  
  
Olivia awoke with a killer headache.  She looked around and found that she was still on the sofa.  She sat up and remembered the night before.  Groaning heavily, she stretched out her aching muscles then pulled herself up and went into the bedroom.  Her heart sank at the sight before her.  The bed had been neatly made and everything was in its place; everything except the most important thing.  Alex was nowhere in sight.  
  
Olivia made her way into the bathroom in search of some much needed aspirin and water. After popping a couple of Tylenol, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.  
  
_I wish you could see yourself the way I see you....just once._ _  
_  
"If only it were that easy, Alex."  
  
After a long hot shower and more than enough coffee for one person, Olivia dragged herself into work.  Luckily for her, Cragen was at a meeting and the guys all appeared to be out on the street.  Her plan was to settle into her desk and bury herself under a mountain of paperwork.  But someone else had other plans for her.  
  
Elliot came around the corner and grabbed Olivia roughly by the arm, dragging her into a private room.  Once inside the interrogation room, Olivia snatched her arm away.  
  
"What the hell are you doing, Elliot?"  Olivia spat rubbing her arm.  
  
"I could ask you the same damn question."  Elliot retorted with a steel glare.  
  
"If this is about me being late, I..."  
  
"You think I give a shit about you being late?  This is about you screwing up the best thing in your life."  He said through grit teeth.  
  
"Look, El..."  
  
"I saw Alex this morning.  I've seen all shades of Alex Cabot, but I've never seen her like that.  She looked like she's been to hell and back in a hand-basket.  She practically had a fucking nervous breakdown when I asked her what was going on!"  
  
"It's none of your business, Elliot."  
  
"It is when your girlfriend breaks down and cries on my shoulder!  Do you have any idea how bad Cabot had to be hurting to do that?"  
  
"You think I don't know my own girlfriend!"  
  
"What I do know is you're still going out drinking every night and pushing her away.  What the fuck is your problem?"  
  
"I wish everyone would stop trying to fix me!"  
  
"Then stop acting like you're broken!"  Elliot snapped back.  "The only thing wrong with you is you!"  
  
"Screw you!"  
  
"Screw you!"  
  
Olivia glared at him.  "You'd better go, Elliot.  It's not your business so stay out of it."  
  
"Or what? What are you gonna do, Liv?  You gonna hit me?  You gonna slap me around?  It's that what it's gonna come to?  Better me than Alex."  
  
"I would never lay a hand on Alex....Ever!!"  Olivia roared.  
  
He stared her down.  They were toe to toe.  "I know that."  He softened his voice but stood his ground.  "So does Alex.  Dammit Liv...When are you going to let this go?  What's it going to take?  Stop looking for him... because you're never going to find him.  He's not there."  
  
Tears filled Olivia's eyes.  "What if you're wrong?  What if... I hurt her and..."  
  
"I'm not wrong....not about this."  He let out a long breath and relaxed his stance.  Olivia did the same.  "You got a good thing at home, Liv.  Have you ever taken the time to just look at Alex?   The way she looks at you...”  He shook his head.  “I wish Kathy still looked at me that way."  
  
Olivia dropped her head.  She knew that her partner and Kathy had been having problems, but she had no idea things had gotten that bad.  
  
"Alex doesn't give a damn where you've been, what you've done, or even who your parents were.  She just loves you, just as you are....no questions asked.  Do you know how rare it is to have found that?  Don't let him take that away from you.  Don’t you think he's already taken enough?"  
  
Olivia kept her eyes on the floor.  The tears fell freely down her cheeks.  "I don't want to hurt her."  
  
"Then don't.  Stop pushing her away before you've pushed her too far.  Try leaning on her for help for a change.  You want to chase away whatever is eating at you.  I get that.  But drinking isn't going to do it.  The only thing you're chasing away is Alex."  
  
Olivia sighed heavily.  "I may have already lost her."  
  
"You haven't lost her, Liv.  But she's hurting too.  The question is what are you gonna do about it?"  
  
"I have to make it right."  
  
"Good, then you won't mind if I call your little woman and tell her that you're coming home to do just that."  
  
Olivia smirked and wiped her face on her sleeve.  "You better not call her my little woman.  She hates that."  
  
"Oh yeah... I forgot.  You're her little woman, aren't you?"  He smiled as he playfully pulled out his phone.  
  
_If I'm not too late._ "Wait.  It's the middle of the day.  I can't just go home.  I just got here.  I have work and so does she."  
  
"Donnelly took one look at Cabot and told her to take the rest of the day to get herself together.  And I told Cap that you weren't feeling well and that I'd cover for you.  There is nothing keeping you from going home and fixing things.  So stop making excuses and go home and talk to Alex."  
  
Olivia nodded.  "Okay."  
  
"Come on.  I'll give you a lift."  
  
A half hour later, Elliot pulled up in front of her building.  "You okay now?"  He turned and asked his partner who had been silent the entire time.  
  
"No."  She turned and gave him a weak smile.   "...but I will be.  Thanks for the ride...and the talk."  
  
"See you tomorrow, Liv."  
  
She got out of the car and walked a few feet away before turning back around.  "Hey Elliot?"  She called out.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You know that I would have kicked your ass, right?"  
  
Elliot laughed.  "In your dreams, Benson."  
  
Olivia unlocked the door and found the penthouse quieter than usual.  She tossed her coat across the chair and headed down the hall.  She turned the corner and found Alex in the study.  She had curled up in her favorite chair staring at the photo album from their vacation to Hawaii the past summer.  She hadn't heard Olivia come in.  Olivia was thankful for the moment.  She stood in the doorway and just watched the blonde.  She smiled when she saw Alex smile at a random photo.  It dawned on her that she hadn't seen Alex smile in weeks.    
  
"Those were awful pictures of me.  You kept catching me off guard."  
  
Alex jumped slightly and looked up.  She pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose.  "I like seeing you this way.   It's the real you."  
  
"Are you saying you like me goofy?"  
  
"I'm saying that I like the woman, not the brooding cop...not the seeker of justice.  I just like my plain old Olivia."  
  
"And she doesn't scare you?"  
  
"Not one bit."  Alex tried to swallow the lump in her throat.  "I miss her."  
  
"She misses you too."  
  
"Liv, I feel like I'm losing you."  
  
"I'm still here."  
  
"Only part of you and that's not good enough anymore.  I want all of you...even the parts you don't want me to see."  
  
"What if I don't want you to see that part of me?"  
  
Alex stood and walked over to her.  She touched her face gently.  "I know you think you're protecting me, but you aren't.  You can't.  You keep pushing me away and I can't live on the outside of your life.  That's what's hurting me, not you."  
  
"I thought that if I kept you away, I wouldn't..."  Olivia shrugged in frustration unable to find the right words.  
  
"The only way you could ever hurt me is if you stopped loving me.  Have you stopped loving me, Liv?"  
  
"No."  Olivia looked almost hurt by the question.  "But let's be honest, Alex.  What are the odds that I won't be like him?  What if it's just there....waiting to come out?"  
  
"Nothing could be farther from the truth."  
  
"I have a job that requires me to be aggressive...violent even at times....."  
  
"And I have a job that requires me to be a heartless bitch and show no emotion.  Does that make me any less human?"  
  
"It's not the same, Alex.  That's just ridiculous."  
  
"And so is the thought that you could ever hurt me or any other human being in that way."    
  
When she saw Olivia doubting her words, she reached out and caressed her face, gently guiding her eyes to her own.    
  
"Oh honey, why can't you see what I see?  Because what I see is...so beautiful...so wonderful."  
  
Olivia took Alex's hands away from her face and held them in her own.  She kept her eyes down.  "Elliot thinks that I should probably see someone...George maybe.  Do you?"  
  
"I think that might be a good idea.  Maybe talking about this with a professional or someone...other than me will help."

  
"It's not that I don't love you or trust you, because I do.  It's just...."  
  
"I know.  Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone that you don't love."  
  
Alex was unsure how to address the next thing on her mind.  She was so grateful that Olivia was actually opening up to her.  She didn't want to push too hard, but she knew that it couldn't be ignored.  
  
"Olivia... the drinking..." Alex started.  
  
"I'll stop.  I'll go to AA if I have to...but I'll stop.  I don't want to make you live through that again."  
  
Alex wiped a stray tear away and wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck.  "Good, because I don't want to see you live through it again either."  
  
Tears sprang to Olivia's eyes as she pulled Alex closer.  She suddenly realized how much she had missed the comfort of these arms.  "I don't want to lose you."  
  
"I don't want to lose you either."  Alex buried her face into Olivia's neck.  "And I don't plan on it...not without a fight."  



	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen** ****  
  
"And how does the jury find?"  
  
"We find the defendant guilty, your honor."  
  
"The court would like to thank the jury for its services.  Sentencing is scheduled for nine am on Monday morning."  
  
The judge pounded his gavel against the hard wood and court was adjourned.  Serena let out the breath she'd been holding and turned to shake the defense counsel's hand followed by her colleague, Jack McCoy.  
  
"You did a good job, Southerlyn.  It's always a pleasure sparring with you."  
  
Serena shook her head.  "See you around, Barry."  
  
"He's right.  You did a good job on this one, Serena.  Branch is going to be pleased."  
  
"Thanks Jack."  
  
"Why don't you let me buy you a drink.”?  
  
"I appreciate that, Jack, but..."  
  
"Let me guess...you've already got plans with a certain doctor?"  
  
"I'm hoping."  
  
Jack nodded.  "I'll see you tomorrow then."  
  
"Bye."  
  
As the courtroom emptied, Serena stacked her files and placed them into her briefcase.  Her thoughts instantly went back to Pearce.  It was a less than two weeks until Christmas and things couldn't have been better between them.  After finding out that Pearce had no major plans for the holidays, Serena asked her if she'd like to accompany her home.  She initially thought the idea of introducing Pearce to her mother and brood of big brothers would have been a bit much for the young doctor.  But she was completely ecstatic when Pearce agreed to come.  Serena had been telling her mother about the perfect woman she'd met during their weekly phone calls.  Now her mother would finally be able to put a face with the name...and what a face it was, Serena thought.  
  
The shrill sound of her cell phone brought her out of her thoughts.  "Hello."  A smile instantly graced her features.  "Well hello, Doctor.  I was just thinking about you."  
  
"Really.  I feel so special."  
  
"You should.  You’d better not be canceling on me, Doc."  Serena warned.  
  
"Of course not.  I was just calling to see how your case went."  
  
"Guilty on all counts."  Serena said proudly.  
  
"That's my girl!  Congratulations, babe.  Can I possibly interest you in a celebration drink before dinner?"  
  
"I'd love that.  Where?"  
  
"Umm... I'm not far.  I could come and get you."  
  
"That's not necessary.  I can just meet you.   Where are you?"  
  
"I'm leaving the hospital now.  You want to meet at Savoy's?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
"Are you sure you don't want me to come and get you?  I really don’t mind."  
  
"Pearce, I am perfectly capable of taking a cab across town.  I have done it before you know." Serena laughed.  
  
"Yes, but you didn't have a girlfriend to worry over you before." Pearce said causing Serena to sigh.  
  
"Aww.  True, but I'm a big girl and I plan on thoroughly reminding you of that later."  Serena added seductively.  
  
Pearce laughed.  "Alright.  You win."  
  
"I always do.  I'll see you in thirty.  I love you."  
  
"I love you too, darling.  Be careful."  
  
Pearce could hear Serena laughing as she disconnected the call.  She gathered the rest of her things and left the courtroom to find it surprisingly deserted all of a sudden.  
  
She looked around for a cab and saw none.  "Dammit!"  She grumbled as she pulled out her phone again.  
  
"No cabs in sight in New York City. That's quite strange isn't it?"  A gruff voice said behind her.  
  
As Serena turned, she felt a hand come over her face.  Before she could struggle, a distinct smell engulfed her senses.  Her body grew weak.  The last thing she saw was the trunk of a car closing in on her.  Then there was complete darkness.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16** ****  
  
Pearce worriedly paced back and forth in the small bar as she again tried Serena's cell.  Again, she only got Serena's voice mail.  
  
_"Hey sweetheart, it's me again.  Where are you?  It's been an hour and I'm getting little worried about you.  If you're stuck in traffic, call and let me know."_ __  
  
After another hour passed, Pearce gave up on waiting.  She knew something was wrong.  She could feel it in her gut.  Serena would never leave her waiting for two hours without a call.  She grabbed her keys and drove over to Serena's apartment.  When she got there, she found that Serena had not made a detour home, nor had she gone by Pearce's place.  Pearce had called and had her doorman go up to check.  The sinking feeling in her stomach began to grow stronger.  Standing outside Serena's apartment, Pearce made one more call.  
  
"Cabot."  
  
"Hey, Alex? It's Pearce."  
  
"Hi, Pearce.  How are you?"  
  
"A bit confused at the moment.  Has Serena called you?"  
  
"Not since this morning.  Why?"  
  
"I spoke with her as she was leaving the courthouse a while ago.  She was going to meet me for a drink to celebrate.  She said she was taking a cab, but she never made it there."  
  
"Maybe she's just caught in traffic."  
  
"I might believe that if it hadn't been two hours already and she didn't make a stop at her place or mine.  I checked."  
  
Alex frowned.  "You've tried her on her cell?"  
  
"Yes, over and over again, but she's still not answering."  
  
"Hmm...that doesn't sound like Serena does it?"  
  
"Something is not right, Alex.  I know it."  
  
Alex could hear the concern in Pearce's voice.  She told Pearce to come over to her office and they could try to track Serena down together.  When Pearce got there, Alex could see the worry in Pearce's eyes matched the concern in her voice.  
  
"Serena is probably just out of reach for the moment.  I wouldn't worry.  I'm sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for all of this."  
  
Pearce just looked at her skeptically.    
  
"But if it'll make you feel better, I can call Liv.  She and Elliot can go over to the courthouse and retrace her steps.  They're having a slow day anyway. They’ll probably thank me."  
  
"Thank you.  I'd appreciate that."  
  
Alex smiled warmly as she picked up the phone and made the call.  She finished up the call a few minutes later to find Pearce still pacing by the door.  
  
"Liv and Elliot were already near the courthouse.  She should be calling back soon.  In the meantime, why don't you sit and try to relax."  Alex gestured to a chair in front of her desk.  
  
Pearce ran her hand through her hair and sighed.  She sat down in one of the chairs, but didn't relax at all.  An awkward silence fell between them and Pearce glanced around Alex's office trying to focus on anything to take her mind off of her worry.  She finally zoned in on the Harvard degrees hanging on the side wall.    
  
"Harvard huh?"  
  
Alex nodded.  "Serena tells me you went to Oxford."  She smiled.  "Show off."  
  
Pearce shrugged.  "Someone had to be the black sheep of the family."  
  
Alex raised a brow.  "If going to Oxford University makes you a black sheep, I'd like to find out what your family would consider to be a better choice."  
  
"It’s not what you think.  I broke the family tradition.  I would have been the fifth generation to attend Harvard had I chosen to go.  They even have some building named after my grandfather there.  I totally pissed my father off."  Pearce finished with a smirk.  
  
Alex tilted her head and looked at her for a moment.  "Don't tell me Delong Hall is named after your grandfather?"  
  
"I believe it is."  
  
"Wait a minute...that means...You're related to the Delong family in Massachusetts, as in the late Senator Walter P. Delong?"  
  
Pearce winced and nodded.  "The P stands for Pearce.  That was one tradition I was not able to break unfortunately.  You can’t imagine the amount of teasing I took for the name."  
  
Alex was shocked.  "I can't believe that I didn't make the connection before now.  You're not going to believe this, but I think I might know your grandmother.  Is her name Elizabeth."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Alex shook her head in wonder.  "What a coincidence.  My grandmother and Elizabeth Delong have been friends for years.  They play bridge together sometimes…even though it’s really poker."  
  
"Who is your grandmother?"  Pearce asked actually intrigued.  
  
"Martha Cabot."  
  
Pearce smiled briefly and nodded slowly.  "Yes, I do believe that I've had the pleasure as well... lovely woman."  
  
"How weird is that?  I'm surprised we never crossed paths before now."  
  
"I know.  Small world isn't it?"  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
Alex had skillfully managed to keep Pearce distracted by their little new found connection for a few minutes before the doctor's thoughts went back to a certain MIA ADA.  She looked at Alex and sighed.    
  
"I'm worried about her, Alex.  Serena never turns that bloody phone off.  Something is not right about any of this."  
  
Alex didn't want to worry, but she had to admit that Pearce had a point.  Serena could be extremely predictable when it came to her habits and routines, which wasn't really a positive thing right now.  
  
Alex's phone rang causing both women to jump slightly.  Alex quickly answered.    
  
"Cabot....Yes....I see.....When? Alright, we're on our way down now. Keep me posted."  
  
Alex hung up the phone and Pearce looked at her expectantly.  "Did they find Serena?"  
  
Alex's face gave nothing away in terms of emotion.  She looked Pearce in the eyes.  "We need to go down to the station.  I'll explain on the way."  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17** ****  
  
Pearce sat at Olivia's desk amongst the hustle and bustle of the squad room.  She willed herself to sit still and not leave to go looking for Serena herself.  She leaned back in Olivia's chair and looked into the Captain's office.  She could see several detectives and Alex going through what looked like Serena's bag.  She dropped her head into her hands and tried to calm her racing heart.  _"Where are you, Serena?"_ _  
  
_ Olivia came out and placed a hand on Pearce's shoulder.  Pearce lifted her head and looked at her.   
  
"Olivia, what the hell is going on?"  
  
"Come with me."  
  
Olivia led Pearce to an empty interrogation room and pulled up a chair.  "We found Serena's bag and her phone by the courthouse steps.  We looked at her recent calls and it seems that you were probably the last person to speak with her.  So, I need you to go over the entire conversation that you last had with Serena."  
  
"I've already gone through this with your partner."  
  
"I know, but I need you to do it again with me.  And this time, don't leave a single detail out....no matter how small."    
  
Pearce sat back and recalled the entire conversation she'd had with Serena hours before, down to the tiniest detail.  
  
"This is what's happening so far.  We have a couple of units out trying to locate her.  She hasn't been out of pocket for long and that's a good thing.  Try not to worry.  We'll find her in no time."  Olivia said trying to sound optimistic.  
  
"You're bullshitting me.  You know Serena would never leave her bag or her phone behind.  She's not forgetful like that."    
  
"She may have been in a rush to get to you."  
  
Pearce eyed Olivia closely.  "You know something don't you?"  
  
Olivia never said a word, but she didn't have to.  Pearce was good at reading people's emotions.  
  
"Olivia"  
  
"Pearce, there isn't...."  
  
"Tell me what you know!"  Pearce yelled, her frustration finally getting the better of her.  She took a deep breath and softened her tone.  "Please, Olivia. This is...This is the woman I love.  Please."  
  
Olivia knew she might catch some flak from Cragen or even from Alex, but she couldn't look Pearce in the eyes and tell her not to worry; not knowing what she did.  
  
"It appears that Serena might have been trying to call for help."  
  
"W…What do you mean?"  
  
"The last digits dialed on her phone were 9 and 1."  
  
Pearce sank back in the chair and closed her eyes as the room began to spin around her.  "Oh dear God."  
  
"Pearce, you have to stay calm and hold it together.  There is still a lot we don't know."  
  
"This is all my fault.  I knew I should have gone and picked her up."  Pearce dropped her head into her hands.  
  
Olivia placed a hand on her arm and met Pearce's eyes.  "Hey, this is not your fault.  You had no idea and we still don't know what's really going on yet.  So, don't even take yourself there."  
  
There was a quick knock and Elliot poked his head inside.  "Liv, we gotta move."  
  
Olivia nodded and stood.  She looked back at Pearce.  "Stay here.  As soon as I know something, I'll let you know."  
  
"But..."  
  
"I mean it, Doc."  Olivia pinned her with a glare.  "We can’t do our jobs if we have to worry about you too. The best thing you can do is wait here. Alex will keep you company."  
  
Pearce finally nodded and watched the detective rush out.  She walked out into the squad room and saw Alex leaning against Olivia's desk.    
  
"You look like you could use a cup of coffee."  Alex said holding up a cup.  
  
"Thanks."  She said softly.  
  
Alex pursed her lips and nodded as Pearce took a position next to her.  They both stared off into space for a moment.    
  
"They'll find her, Pearce.  You have to believe that. We both do."  
  
Tears filled Pearce's eyes and she willed herself not to cry.   _"Wherever you are....please be okay."_ __  
  
Pearce glanced over and saw that Alex was still holding the small cup in her hand.  She took the coffee and took a sip.  Alex then picked up her own and did the same.  They both knew this was going to be a long night.  


  
Serena awoke with a deep throbbing in her head.  She moaned and tried to open her eyes, but they had been covered with something.  When she tried to move her arms, she discovered that they had been tied down.  She was in complete darkness and unable to move.  Her heart began to race wildly as fear took over.  
  
"Shh...there, there love.  You're finally awake.  I was beginning to worry about you."    
  
Serena immediately remembered the gruff voice from earlier.   Bound and gagged, Serena could only mumble.  She struggled more against the restraints.     
  
"You're only going to tire yourself out, love."  
  
Serena mumbled again.  The stranger removed the gag so she could speak.  "Who are you?  What the hell do you want from me?"  
  
"If I tell you who I am, that will defeat the purpose of the blindfold won't it.  But be patient...you'll find out in due time."  
  
"Why are you doing this?"  
  
"You mean you don't know?  A smart girl like yourself. I'm sure if you think hard enough, you'll figure it out."    
  
Serena could feel his fingers running along the opening of her blouse.  She tried to pull away, but to no avail.  "And quite attractive too."  
  
"What do you want from me?"  
  
"I only want back what is mine."  
  
"I don't have anything of yours.  If it's money you want..."  
  
"I don't need bloody money, you whore!"  His voice echoed throughout the air.  Serena shuttered.  She knew that making the captor angry was not a good idea.  
  
"I...I don't know what I have that you want.  I didn't take anything from you.  I swear.  But...if you tell me what you want, maybe I can get it for you."   Serena said as calmly as she could.  
  
His laughter filled the space between them sending a shiver down Serena's spine.  "Sure you have what I want."  He grabbed Serena roughly by the hair pulling her head back.  She could feel his hot breath against her face.  "You took my most precious possession...and I want it back."  
  
"What are you talking about?  What did I take?"  Serena asked meekly.  
  
"You took my Pearce.  You took my heart away...and now...now you're going to help me get her back."

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18** ****  
  
"Did you guys find anything?"  Elliot asked as he and Olivia approached the two officers.  
  
"This cab was reported stolen yesterday.  It was abandoned here, but it obviously hasn't been here long.  The keys are still in it and money was in plain view and no one has bothered it.  That doesn't happen much on this side of town.  We called it in because we found something inside."  
  
Olivia and Elliot ducked under the police tape and followed the officer around to the trunk of the car.  Olivia held her breath as he opened the trunk.  "We found this."  
  
"Did you guys touch anything?"  When the officer shook his head, Olivia slipped on a pair of gloves and carefully lifted the black overcoat.  She could tell by the texture and look that it was expensive.  It looked a lot like the one Alex wore.  She looked into the collar and grimaced when she saw the initials S.S.    
  
"I'm willing to bet that this coat is Serena's."  
  
"And it has blood on it."  Elliot added as he spotted the splotches around the collar.  "Looks like our guy shoved her into the drunk, drove here, and ditched the car.  The question is what did he do with Serena?"  
  
"Odds are she's still alive, El.  If she wasn't, he would have dumped her body along with the car.  He's keeping her alive for a reason."  
  
"He wants something, but what would he want with Serena?"  Elliot asked himself as he looked through the inside of the car.  "She's not wealthy nor does she come from an extremely wealthy family to draw that kind of attention to herself."  
  
"Maybe he's an angry perp she's locked up."  Something in the dark corner of the trunk caught her attention.  She pulled out a pen and carefully lifted a small piece of torn paper.  "Or maybe it's something much more personal.  Take a look at this, Elliot."  
  
Elliot came back to the trunk.  He squint his eyes and focused on the messy writing. "Its part of an address...looks familiar though."  
  
"That's because it's just like mine.  The only difference is that it's penthouse 40.  That's the number to Pearce Delong's apartment."  
  
Elliot pulled out a plastic bag and Olivia placed the paper inside.  "We need to get this back to the lab and have it run for fingerprints.  From the looks of things, our guy was in a hurry.  Maybe he got a little careless too."  
  
"Yeah and we need to ask Pearce some questions."  
  
An hour later, Olivia and Elliot had Pearce in an interrogation room questioning her about everything they could think of.  
  
"Had Serena mentioned anything to you about being bothered at work or being harassed?"  
  
"No, nothing like that."  Pearce said shaking her head.  
  
"Do you know of anyone that she's had problems with or conflict with lately?"  
  
"She had words with that Jack McCoy guy every now and then, but nothing out of the ordinary.  She never told me anything like what you're suggesting."  
  
Olivia ran her hands through her hair out of frustration.  They were running out of time.  She sat down in front of Pearce.  
  
"Pearce, you have a photographic memory.  You remember everything.  I've seen you recall things hours later after only one glance.  I need you to use that now.  Think really, really hard.  Over the past few weeks, have you noticed anything that seemed odd to you in any way?"  
  
Pearce closed her eyes and ran the past few weeks over in her mind.  She shook her head and sighed.  "Nothing."  
  
Elliot stopped pacing for a moment and moved closer to her.  "Not even a feeling?  What about a feeling that something might have been off with Serena....or even her surroundings?"  
  
Pearce paused as something seemed to come to her.  "A few weeks ago, I went to her office to pick her up..."  She shook her head.  "It was nothing though."  
  
"Let us be the judge of that."  Elliot implored.  "Tell us what you remember."  
  
"It's just... I felt like someone was watching us.  It was kind of late and the hallway was dark, but you know when you get that feeling....like someone has their eyes on you?  That's what it felt like, but Serena said that it was probably maintenance so I let it go.  Do you think it was something more?"  
  
"It was probably nothing out of the ordinary."  Olivia said trying to soothe her worry.  "But...do you happen to remember what night of the week that was?"  
  
Pearce thought for a moment.  "It was a Friday night, I think.... Yeah, it was a Friday because I remember Serena saying that she was going to enjoy having Saturday off."  
  
"Okay.  You're doing good."  She gave Elliot a quick glance and he nodded before leaving the room.  
  
Pearce looked at Olivia with pleading eyes.  "Olivia, you have to tell me what's happening.  Was someone stalking Serena?"  
  
Olivia didn't know how she should answer just yet.  She looked up at the glass window that she knew Alex was standing behind for help.  A moment later, Alex walked in and sat down next to Pearce.  
  
Pearce looked back and forth between them.  Alex could see the worry in Pearce's eyes and she struggled to hold it together.  This wasn't just any other case.  This involved her own best friend; a woman she considered to be family.  She cleared her throat and did what she thought Serena would have wanted her to do... her job.  
  
"Pearce, the police found an abandoned cab down by the docks.  There was no one inside, but they know that Serena had been inside that cab."  Alex said evenly.  
  
"How do they know that?"  Pearce was almost afraid to ask.  
  
"They found a dark overcoat with initials inside.  The initials were..."  
  
"S.S."  Pearce said softly.  She'd seen it a hundred times before.  She had even teased the ADA about having her initials stitched into her clothing like a summer camper.  
  
"Yes.  They also found an address scribbled onto a piece of paper."  She looked at Pearce before she continued.  "The address was yours."  
  
Pearce's head snapped up.  "Mine?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you saying this person...was looking for me?"  
  
"We don't know that."  Olivia cut in.  
  
"What in bloody hell do you know then?!"  Pearce's voice echoed in the small room as she stood pushing the chair back roughly.  
  
Olivia waited a moment to allow her to cool down.  "He could have been tracking Serena for months.  He could have gotten your address because Serena spent so much time at your place.  There are a thousand ways this could have played out."  
  
"I know... I'm sorry."  Pearce finally stopped pacing and sat back down.  She rested her head in her hands.  "But there is a possibility that this person was after me...which means he went after her to get to me."  
  
"Like I said before, we can't know that for sure right now."  
  
There was a light tap on the window coming from the other side.  Olivia went out leaving Alex and Pearce inside.  Elliot was waiting for her.  
  
"Please tell me you've got something, partner."  
  
"I did some checking.  If Pearce saw someone at Serena's office that night, it sure as hell wasn't maintenance.  They haven't had a night crew working there in months."  
  
Olivia sighed.  They both looked up as Captain Cragen came through the door.      
  
"You two should look at this."  He handed Olivia the file.  Olivia scanned it quickly and looked at the photos inside.  
  
"Are they sure?"  
  
"As sure as we can be at this point.  Run them by the doc and see if she can give you anything."  
  
Olivia nodded and went back into the room.  She sat down in front of Pearce.  "The lab ran the paper for prints.  They were able to get a partial.  They were able to connect it to two possibles already in the system."  
  
"What does all that mean?"  Pearce asked confused by the police jargon.  
  
"That means they've narrowed the print down to two people. They're hoping you can recognize one of them."  Alex supplied.  
  
"Who are they?"  
  
Olivia opened the file and placed the picture in front of Pearce.  "His name is Lyle Jennings.   Do you recognize this man, Pearce?"  
  
Pearce studied the photo for a while then shook her head sadly.  "No.  I don't remember ever seeing this man."  
  
"Are you sure?  Take your time."  
  
Pearce looked at the photo again.  "No. I'm positive."  
  
Olivia nodded and removed the photo.  "The other possible match is this guy."  She again laid a photo in front of Pearce.  "His name is..."  
  
Olivia stopped when she heard Pearce gasp.  She looked up and saw that Pearce had turned deathly pale.  Alex noticed the reaction as well.  She placed a hand on Pearce's arm and felt her shaking.    
  
"Do you know this man, Pearce?"  Alex asked gently.  
  
Pearce continued to stare at the photo.  Olivia moved closer.  "Pearce...who is he?  Tell me."  
  
"Someone I'd hoped I never have to see again.  He's my ex-fiancé."  



	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There is content pertaining to rape in this chapter.

**Chapter 19**  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  Serena said trying to ignore the deep throbbing in her head.  
  
"Sure you do.  You've been fucking her brains out for months."  
  
"What does my relationship with Pearce have to do with you?"  
  
"You were going all around town, flaunting your sordid affair for the entire world to see.  You never once thought about what you were doing to me."  
  
"I don't even know who you are, you maniac!"  
  
As soon as Serena felt the hard blow across her face, she regretted raising her voice.  Blood filled her mouth and she could feel the tears welling in her eyes even though she was still blindfolded.  Suddenly she felt her head being pulled back roughly.  
  
"You want to know who I am!  I'm the only one who has ever loved her for who she was.  When everyone around her wanted something from her, it was only me who simply loved her unconditionally.  I was there when her own father didn't give a shit!  I was there through it all.  Me! Not you!"  
  
A sense of utter dread washed over Serena as she again felt his hot breath on her neck.  "You think I'm just going to stand by while some dyke tries to take the woman I love away....again!  No!  She will always belong to me.  I'll show you."  
  
Serena screamed for help as loud as she possibly could.  She screamed until she was out of breath.  She could hear the sound of his laughter drowning her out.    
  
"Go ahead... yell and scream all you want.  No one can hear you."  
  
"Pearce will find me. She'll know. She'll come for me."  Serena said out of breath.  
  
He continued to laugh.  "Pearce isn't going to find you.  Pearce doesn't give a damn about you.  You were just a...little distraction, just like that other one.  Right now, it's just you and me."  She felt his fingers caressing her face.  "And we're going to have loads of fun together."  
  
A moment later, a searing pain shot through Serena's head as yet another blow made contact.  She tried her best to stay conscious, but she felt herself drifting off and everything went black.  


Olivia pointed to the picture before them.  "This man is your former fiancé?"  
  
Pearce was still in shock.  She could only nod.  Finally finding her voice, Pearce spoke shakily.  "His name is Peter Webster."  
  
Olivia nodded that she was right. "Can you tell us about him?"  
  
Pearce spoke as if she was in some kind of trance.  Her voice gave away no emotion or feeling. 

 

"Our parents socialized in the same circles.  We met a few times when we were younger.  We ended up at Oxford at the same time; that's how we got to know each other better.  Our families thought we were the perfect match so, we dated for a while.  I knew how he felt about me.  I didn't feel anything like what he felt for me....but my father said that Peter was a suitable choice for a husband and that I'd grow to love him.  And like always..."  Pearce shrugged.  
  
"You did what was expected of you."  Alex supplied fully understanding the situation.  
  
"You agreed to marry him?"  Olivia asked.  
  
"Yes.  I thought that if I married him that the feelings I was having would go away; that I'd be normal.  But the closer it got to the wedding, the worse I felt; not just for me but for him too.  So I kept putting it off.  I threw myself into my work.  He was patient for a while.  I guess he thought that I'd eventually marry him and miraculously turn into this wonderful wife that would love and adore him and give him children."  
  
"What happened next?"  
  
"I was offered a position here at Bellevue.  When I moved here to work with my father, Peter moved too.  That's when everything changed."  Pearce trailed off with sadness in her voice.  
  
"What changed?"  Olivia asked.  
  
Pearce looked up at her and smiled sadly.  "About a month after I started, a firefighter was brought into the ER for treatment.  I caught the case.  My life would never be the same after that night."  
  
Olivia instantly made the connection.  "Kate?"  
  
Pearce nodded.  "For so long I had tried to deny who I was, but after I met Kate...I couldn't deny it anymore.  It was like something in me woke up.  I fell in love with her, but I still tried to do the right thing.  I tried to stay away from her and be what everyone wanted me to be, but... I just couldn't live the lie anymore."  She swallowed hard and sighed.  "I finally gave him the ring back and called the whole thing off."  
  
"How did Webster react?"  
  
"He turned into a raving lunatic.  He turned into this person that I didn't even recognize."  
  
"So his behavior was out of character?"  Alex asked.  
  
"Peter and I had never even had an argument before.  Then suddenly, he was harassing me day and night.  He would ride by my apartment trying to see if I had another man there.  I ended up moving twice."  She leaned forward and ran her fingers through her hair.  "And when he found out that the other person wasn't a man at all he completely lost it.  He blamed Kate for everything.  He accused her of seducing me.  He got so angry that one night... one night he smashed all the windows of Kate's car and spray painted…  _Die Bitch_ on the hood."  
  
"Did you report this to the police?"  
  
"Of course we did! The police arrested him, but his father used his name and wealth to bribe the judge and got him off.  He agreed to counseling and had to complete some bogus community service."  
  
"Did he ever attempt to contact you again?"  
  
The next question seemed to upset Pearce more than the others.  She was visibly shaking again.  Olivia moved closer and touched her arm gently.  "What happened, Pearce?"  
  
"I... I had a late shift one night and... Kate was working late too.  There was no security guard on duty that night, but I thought I'd be fine.  I was wrong.  When I went to my car...someone was waiting for me."  Pearce's bottom lip quivered as she tried to push through the memory.  "He covered my mouth and...pushed me on to the ground face down.  I couldn't see his face, but I could hear him…taunting me."  She shook her head and looked away, unable to continue.  
  
Alex closed her eyes and sighed.  She had heard the beginning of this story too many times before.  She placed her hand on Pearce's back and rubbed it gently.    
  
"Did he rape you, Pearce?" Olivia asked softly.  
  
Pearce took a moment to collect herself before looking up.  She looked Olivia in the eyes.  "Yes."  
  
The room fell silent.  Olivia bit the inside of her jaw out of frustration and rage.  "Were charges ever pressed?"  
  
"Not at first."  Pearce answered quietly.  "He said that he knew that I had a girlfriend and if I went to the police... he'd take away what mattered most to me.  I figured if he wasn't afraid to do what he had to me that he wouldn't think twice about hurting Kate.  So... I cleaned myself up and went home."  She took a moment to wipe her tears.  "I was able to hide it for a couple of days, but Kate knew something was wrong.  Eventually, she got me to talk.  That's when she took me to the police.  But... the detectives said that there was no physical evidence...and since I couldn't see his face that I couldn't be sure it was him even though I said I knew the voice.  They said that it could have been anyone who knew about my involvement with Kate."  
  
Olivia clenched her teeth in anger.  She knew better than anyone that there were some cops who didn’t belong in Special Victims and this was a prime example. 

 

"But you were certain that it was him weren't you."  Olivia stated.  
  
"I know it was him.  The night that he vandalized Kate's car, he promised that he'd make me see what I'd be missing.  He said that he'd show me what a man could only give me."  A single tear ran down Pearce's cheek.   She wiped it away quickly.  "He was practically gloating after he was questioned by the police because he knew he'd gotten away with it.  He’d finally taken what I wasn’t willing to give him. The only comfort I could take in the entire matter was that he wouldn't be anywhere near me anymore.  The Webster family wanted to avoid a scandal so his father sent him to London to run his office there.  That bastard got a new job while I was left to put what remained of my life back together again."  
  
Olivia and Alex sat in complete silence for a moment still in shock by they had heard.  Finally, Olivia went back to her questioning.    
  
"Did he threaten you in any way after that?"  
  
Pearce's eyes filled with tears again.  "I wouldn't call it a threat."  She saw their confused looks and shook her head.  "He sent me flowers after he heard what happened to Kate.  It was like he was having the last laugh.  He always said that if he couldn't have me... no one else would."  She took a deep breath.  "Other than that, I haven't heard from him in years.  I figured he'd finally forgotten about me and moved on to some other poor soul.  I swear... I never thought that Serena was in any kind of danger. I..."  
  
She could even finish.  Her voice caught and the sobs came forth with a vengeance.  "God, how could I have done this to her.  This is all my fault."  
  
Without thinking, Alex pulled Pearce into a tight embrace, trying to quiet her sobs.  "No.  This is not your fault.  This is Peter Webster's fault.  And we're going to find Serena and make him pay. He's going to pay for what he did to you, Serena. I’m going to make sure that he pays for it all."  
  
Alex looked at Olivia with tears in her own eyes.   _"Find him."_ She mouthed.  Olivia nodded and laid a gentle hand on Pearce's shoulder before leaving the room.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20** ****  
  
The hours passed slowly at the 1-6.  The entire squad was chasing every lead in an attempt of finding Serena.  The waiting had started to take a toll on Pearce. She looked exhausted and wracked with worry.  The waiting wasn't doing much for Alex's conscience either.  Her ADA services were unneeded at the moment, leaving her to sit idly by while her friend went missing.  She was going just as stir crazy as Pearce.

"Pearce, why don't you let me take you home?  You've been here for hours and it could be god knows how long before they have something." Alex asked.  
  
"I can't leave until they find her."  
  
"I know, but staying here worrying ourselves to death isn't going to help Serena. You know she wouldn't want that.  At least let me take you home so you can shower and eat something.  I'll bring you back as soon as Liv calls I promise."    
  
Pearce looked at Alex a long time before relenting.  She allowed Alex to take her hand and lead her out of the room.  Alex gave Olivia a nod as they left.  There were no words exchanged.  Olivia just knew.  They had to find Serena fast.  
  
Alex looked around Pearce's penthouse while Pearce was in the shower.  She'd been to Pearce's place a couple of times with Serena, but never took the time to really look around.  The first thing she noticed was that it was impeccably decorated; almost like a professional had done it.  But she could also see signs of Serena here and there, from her Yale sweatshirt hanging off the back of the sofa to a pair of her heels by the front door.  
  
As she moved further into the living room, she saw that the left wall was covered by a ceiling high book shelves.  A few photos were displayed amongst the numerous books.  There was one of Pearce and her father.  It must have been at a graduation ceremony.  Pearce was wearing a cap and gown and her father was placing a stethoscope around her neck.  Her father's hair was a shade lighter and his skin was fair, but the dimpled smile and the eyes were definitely the same.  She realized that she had missed those details during the chaos at the restaurant a few weeks before.    
  
The photo next to it brought a smile to Alex's face.  It was snapshot that she, herself, had taken of Pearce and Serena at the park.  Alex remembered that day fondly.  The four of them had met up for a picnic together.  When Serena learned that Pearce had played soccer as a child, she begged Pearce to teach her to play.  It had been a hilarious sight.  Serena didn’t have an athletic bone in her body and was terrible. Pearce was trying to teach Serena a simple move when Serena lost her balance.  Alex snapped the photo as Pearce caught Serena and kept her from falling.  The two of them were laughing and looking into each other’s eyes.   It couldn't have looked more perfect had they planned it.

"She's still bloody awful at football."

Alex looked up and saw a freshly showered Pearce wearing a pair of dark sweats.  She was still towel drying her hair.

"Serena never was much of an athlete.  Neither am I for that matter...unless you count shopping as a sport."  
  
"If that were the case, you two would be Olympic gold medalist." 

Alex squint her eyes.  "I'm not sure I should laugh at that."  She smiled.  "But I will anyway."

"You can shower if you want.  I have some clothes you can borrow."  
  
"Thanks, but I'm fine."  
  
Pearce smirked.  "I'm not going to do anything stupid while you're in the shower, Alex.  I know that Olivia told you to keep an eye on me, but you don't have to watch me every single minute."

Alex bit her lip.  "Sorry.  I'm hovering aren't I?"

"It's okay."  Pearce shrugged.  "Go take a shower.  I laid out some sweats on my bed."

"Thanks"

Pearce walked around aimlessly before ending up in the kitchen making tea. She smiled faintly remembering how Serena had accused her of having a tea obsession because she owned a full tea set.  She shook away the memory and placed the tea out in the living room.

Alex came out of the bedroom and found Pearce staring absently out the window.  There was a ghostly look in her eyes.  She had never seen the woman look so lost.

She cleared her throat.  "Um... are you hungry?  I'm not great in the kitchen but I can manage a sandwich and soup."

Pearce shook her head.  She noticed that Alex had her cell phone in her hand.  "I don't suppose there has been any word from Olivia yet?"

"No, not yet."

Pearce walked back over to the book shelf.  She picked up the picture that Alex had been looking at earlier.  She stood there staring at it for a long time.    
  
"Has her family been notified? They're really close.  They shouldn't hear about this on television or the papers."

"I spoke with one of her older brothers.  He wants me to keep him posted.  He's not going to tell their mother until we find out more."  
  
"I was supposed to meet them at Christmas."

"Serena told me.  She was excited about it."

"I was nervous about making a good first impression.  This is a hell of an impression don't you think?  They're just going to love me after this."  
  
"Pearce, this isn't your fault.  You have to know that Serena wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

"Well, Serena isn't here to answer for herself right now is she?"  Pearce snapped.  She immediately closed her eyes and regretted her cold response.  "Alex, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean..."

Alex immediately waved away the apology. "Hey, it's okay.  I understand.  I would be the same way in your shoes." 

She took a few steps closer to Pearce.  "Pearce, I've known Serena for years.  She's my best friend.  And I know for a fact that she loves you and she would be extremely upset if she thought you were blaming yourself for this."

Pearce nodded and remained quiet for a long time.  "I didn't tell her about the rape."

Alex waited for her to continue.

"I know she wondered why I'd wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare screaming ‘no’ at the top of my lungs.  Serena is very smart.  She knew that it was more than just what I saw at the hospital every day.  I know she wanted me to talk to her about it, but she didn't push."  She glanced up at Alex for a moment.  "A part of me really did want to tell her but… then I'd see the way she looked at me."  She smiled sadly.  "She called me perfect."  
  
Alex nodded.

"I know it may sound stupid, but that's why I didn't tell her.  Serena has been let down so many times before.  I just wanted her to have one perfect thing in her life.  I didn't want to disappoint her."

"Oh, Pearce..."  Alex placed a hand over Pearce's.  "You have to know that what happened to you wasn't your fault and it wouldn't have made you any less wonderful in Serena's eyes.  Serena didn't want you to  _be_ perfect.  She meant that you were perfect  _for her_."

"Well, none of that matters now.  All I can think about is what he could be doing to her.  Alex, I know what that bastard is capable of.  What if he..."

Alex shook her head not willing to even entertain the thought.  "You can't allow yourself to think like that, neither of us can.  Like you said, Serena is smart and she's a lot stronger than she looks.  You know that."

"You don't know what he's capable of."

"If Webster  _is_  responsible for her disappearance, I don't think its Serena that he wants."

"You mean he wants me?"

"If he is  _this_  obsessed with you, do you really think he would do something that would make you hate him forever?"

"He already has."

Pearce sat down on the sofa still holding the picture in her hands.  "She made me fall in love with her.  Heaven knows I didn’t want to, but I fell anyway. I don't know what I will do if she's not alright. I don’t think I can go through that again."

Alex remembered saying similar words when Olivia was attacked over a year ago.  Her heart went out to Pearce more than ever.  She sat down next to her and nervously took her hand.  She relaxed when she felt Pearce squeeze it back.  They didn't speak any more.  They just sat there drawing comfort from one another as the time ticked by.

Later, Alex awoke surprised that she had even managed to fall asleep.  She glanced over at the clock.  It had been hours since they'd heard anything new.  About an hour after Pearce had nodded off, Olivia had called and informed her of the new leads.  Apparently Webster had resigned from his job in London six months ago, which just happened to be around the same time that Pearce and Serena had started dating seriously.  Several calls made from a cell phone registered under his name had been made to Pearce's home and office.  They had also checked his credit cards and found all recent activity in New York City.  They were positive that Webster was behind Serena's mysterious disappearance. This was all good news, but Serena was still missing and most likely in the hands of a rapist.

 _"We're running out of time."_   Alex thought to herself.  She stretched her aching muscles and looked to her left.  What she saw nearly broke her heart.  Pearce was still curled up on the sofa with the picture of Serena clutched to her chest.  Alex noticed that Pearce had kicked away the blanket in her sleep.  She lifted it from the floor and draped it back over the sleeping doctor's body.  

_"Come on Serena.  She needs you to be okay....we all do."_

Elliot pulled the paper out of the fax machine and quickly scanned it.  "Got it!  I got it!"  He yelled as he snatched the paper away.  "Peter Webster's father owns an old warehouse down by the docks.  It's Lot 13!"

"Let's move guys!  If he has Serena, we don't have long."  Olivia said as she pulled her coat from the back of her chair and headed out the door. 

_Hold on, Serena.  We're coming._


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There is content pertaining to rape in this chapter.

**Chapter 21**  
  
Serena moaned and struggled to open her eyes.  She felt a familiar throbbing in her head.   She could feel a burning sensation as well as blood trickling down from her temple.  She groaned remembering the hard blows she'd taken to the head.  
  
She felt something brush against her.  She instinctively jumped and moved her head from side to side trying to listen for the sounds around her.

"Easy there little lady.  It's just me.  Here...drink this."

Serena felt him place a cup to her lips.  She pulled away refusing to open her mouth.    
  
"Hey now...settle down.  It's only water.  I figured you'd be thirsty by now.  Besides... if I wanted to kill you, there would be a much quicker way.  Come on.  You'll dehydrate if you don't drink something."

Serena seemed to be considering the offer for a moment before she accepted the water.  He allowed her to drink nearly half before pulling it way. 

"You're a tough little bitch, you know that?"  
  
"Why are you being nice to me all of a sudden?"

"I already told you.  I want Pearce back, but that won't happen if I kill you.  See, Pearce has the tendency to get all emotionally attached to people.  She's the same way with animals.  She sees a stray and she wants to take it in and care for it.  It's one of the things I love about her, but I must admit that it is rather annoying."

"You must be out of your mind if you think she'd come back to you after everything you've done.  She'll hate you for this."

"You don't know what you're talking about.  Pearce loves me.  We'd be married now if it weren't for women like you trying to come between us."

"You're crazy."

"I'm not crazy! We'd still be together right now if it hadn't been for that bitch, Kate."

Serena could hear the disdain in his voice.  It was obvious to her that this man blamed Pearce's late partner for their breakup and he wanted someone to pay, obviously her.  
  
"But no worries.  She got what was coming to her in the end.  I didn't even have to lift a finger to do it."  He laughed.

"How can you say that?  Kate's death nearly destroyed Pearce."  
  
Serena could hear him laugh even harder.  "Isn't it wonderful how little miracles happen out of the blue?  It was terrible for all those other people, but you have to love when fate intervenes and hands you a gift like that."

Serena shook her head.  "You claim to love her, yet you're so cruel."

"Me, cruel? I'm not the one that's cruel!  Cruel is taking a man's fiancé away from him.  That little slut seduced Pearce and tried to turn her into some sick freak!  But my Pearce is nothing like your kind.  She didn't know what she was doing.  It was all that woman!  That's why I had to show her.  I had to show Pearce what she was missing being with that woman.  I knew she would understand after I showed her."

"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I told you. I showed her how passionate love was supposed to feel... between a man and a woman.  I showed her how it would always be between us if she would just give us a chance.  After it was over...I could tell.  I knew she understood.  She even said that she'd never be the same."

Serena's mind started working overtime.  She couldn't place it, but she'd heard Pearce say those words before.  It was something about his tone that sent a shiver down her spine. 

"What do you mean...you showed her?" She asked carefully. "What did you show her?"  
  
He laughed again.  "Usually, I would say that a gentleman never tells, but I suppose I could make an exception for you... since you already seem to know her in the biblical sense as well."

Serena bit back the bile rising in her throat.  He leaned close to her ear.  "I'm the only man who has ever really pleased Pearce.  She always said that she wanted to wait until she was married, but I knew she was just waiting for me to take her like a real man. She loved it.  I knew just what she wanted...what she liked."

She snatched her head away.  "You're lying!"

"Being with her was like nothing I've ever experienced.  I loved the way she whimpered when I held her down.  She moaned when I entered her.  Oh, it was such a turn on how she begged me...pleaded with me to...."

"You sick fuck!"

"Call me what you like, but deep down you know it's the truth."

"You raped her, you bastard!" Serena snapped back which earned her another hard slap across the face.  The blow was so hard that Serena felt the throbbing behind her eyes.

"I didn't have to rape her!"  His voice roared then quieted almost instantly.  "She loved it.  Pearce loved being with me."

Serena could hear him ranting hysterically around her.  She could sense that he was far from stable which frightened her even more.

"Don't you see?  Pearce and I are meant to be.  She will always belong to me and I won't let you or anyone else come between us."

Serena felt his hands around her neck.  He started to squeeze her airway.  She struggled against the restraints and gasped for air.

"She'll...never...love....you."  Serena choked out.

He was so enraged by Serena's words that he hit her again.  This time, he hit her so hard that the chair tipped over.  As Serena hit the ground, the chair shattered into pieces.  Her head hit the floor hard nearly knocking her out.  The blindfold over her eyes was dislodged allowing her to see out of one eye.  She could only see his lower body walking towards her.  The next thing she felt was a hard kick to the stomach.  The pain shot through her nearly paralyzing her.

"I see that I have to teach you as well.  I'll show you why Pearce loves me! You can never give her what I can!  You'll see!  I'll show you."

Serena could see through her blurry eyes that he was unbuckling his belt.  She had a bad feeling about what was coming next.     _Oh God no!_  

She felt his hands on her, ripping away her blouse and pushing up her skirt.  She tried to fight back as he ripped away her underwear, but found herself defenseless.  It was then that she felt his weight on top of her.  Clenching her eyes shut, she pulled the last ounce of strength that she had left and let out one last scream.    
  
The next thing she heard was a loud bang.  It sounded like an explosion.  Screaming and yelling could be heard all around her.  Then came the unmistakable sound of gunfire in the air.

Moments later, the weight of her attacker was lifted from her body.  She opened her eyes to see feet shuffling around the room and a man lying motionless on the ground next to her. The room looked as though it were spinning and the sounds started to sound muffled.  The next clear sound she heard was a familiar one.

"It's okay, Serena.  It's me, Olivia."  Olivia knelt next to Serena and gently cradled her in her arms.  She looked down at her torn clothing and quickly removed her overcoat, draping it over her friend's battered body.  She pushed the blindfold the rest of the way off and quickly untied the ropes.   

Serena wearily opened her eyes and looked around.  "Liv...."

"It's okay.  I've got you.  Everything is going to be okay.  You're safe now."

"Pearce...He...Pearce..." Serena's eyes were glassy and her words were winded.

"Shh...It's okay.  Pearce is fine.  She'll be even better when she finds out that you're alright."

Serena nodded just before her eyes fluttered closed.  Olivia frowned.  Something was wrong.

"Serena? Serena?!"    
  
Olivia frantically looked her over.  She felt something wet on her hand.  She pulled it away and found it covered in blood.  Her heart raced when she realized the blood was coming from the back of Serena's head.

"I need a medic over here, now!"

Olivia leaned down and noticed that Serena had stopped breathing.  She started CPR.

"Shit Serena!  Don't you do this!  Not now!"

 


	22. Chapter 22

 

 **Chapter 22** ****  
  
Pearce and Alex raced through the doors of the ER and found Olivia already waiting for them. 

"Where is she?"  Pearce asked in a hurry.

"They took her back there."  Olivia said vaguely.

Pearce glanced at her taking in the blood on Olivia's shirt.  Her heart started racing as she headed towards the trauma entrance. 

"Pearce, wait! I don't think you should go back there."

Olivia's plea fell on deaf ears.  Pearce was about to walk through the swinging doors when an older man stopped her at the door.  Alex immediately recognized him from the photo at Pearce's place.

"She's right.  You shouldn't be back there."

"Dad?"

"Your...friend is being prepped for surgery."

"How bad are her injuries?"

"Pearce, maybe..."

"Will you just give me some bloody answers?!  How...bad?"  She asked forcefully.   Her father sighed seeing the determined look in his daughter's eyes.

"She has multiple contusions and a serious head laceration.  The CT scan showed swelling around the brain.  I'd say a possible skull fracture...at the very least, a serious concussion."

Pearce swallowed hard.  "Who's operating?"

"Dr. Moore"

"I'm better than he is."

"Perhaps, but..."

"We both know that I'm the best surgeon that you have on staff here and..."  Pearce began in a determined voice.

"And you are _not_ an option."  He cut her off in an equally determined voice.  He took a deep breath and softened his tone.  "You’re not an option because you care for and are involved with the patient and I cannot allow you in there, not only for her sake but your own as well. Think of your friend, Pearce.  Think of what’s best for her."

Patrick Delong had never been much of a father to Pearce, but he seemed to be making an attempt tonight, even in a small way.  He touched her arm gently surprising them both.  "I know you're worried, but you are the Chief of Surgery.  This is your department.  She is in very capable hands.  You know this better than anyone, so let your colleagues do their jobs."

Pearce tried to swallow the lump in her throat.  "Will you…Will you go with her and...."

"I will be overseeing Dr. Moore the entire time.  She will be in good hands.  I promise."

Pearce nodded and took a step back.  She watched her father disappear through the swinging doors of the OR leaving her alone in the cold hallway to wait.  She looked down at her own hands and shook her head.  The irony of the situation did not escape her.  Here she was, one of the country's premiere surgeons and she couldn't do a damn thing to help the woman who needed her the most.

She finally took a deep breath and turned to meet Olivia's eyes.  "Where is he?"  She asked through clenched teeth.

"Pearce, we can talk about this lat..."

"Where...is...he?"

"Surgery. He took two shots to the chest.  They don't know if he'll make it.  It looks bad."

Pearce didn't seem to even react to the news.  She slumped back against the wall and stared straight ahead.  Alex and Olivia stood on each side of her, saying nothing.  A few minutes had passed when Olivia's cell phone rang.  She slipped down the hall to answer it.   When they were alone, Alex placed a hand over Pearce's and squeezed.    
  
"Why can't the bastard just die, Alex?"  Pearce asked numbly.  
  
Alex had no answers for Pearce.  All she could do was offer her support.   "Come on, Pearce.  Let's go get a cup of coffee and we'll wait it out together."

It was a few hours before Patrick Delong walked out of the OR.  He found a room full of visitors in the waiting area.  They all stood expectantly upon seeing him approach.  He glanced around for Pearce, but saw no sign of her.  He spoke quietly with the DA and Serena's friends giving them a quick rundown of her condition.  He was on his way back to check on the patient when he spotted Pearce coming out of the bathroom down the hall.  She looked almost physically ill.  She quickly approached him when their eyes met.

"How is she?"

"Ms. Southerlyn is in recovery.  There was a very small skull fracture and there was bleeding as we had expected.  We were able to relieve the pressure without complication.   We will be keeping her heavily sedated for a time to ensure that she rests and heals properly.  Overall, her other injuries were minimal all things considered.  She will heal.  She's a very lucky young woman.  She's going to be fine…in time."

Pearce let out a long sigh of relief.  "Thank you."

Patrick nodded.  "Is it true?  Peter did this to her?" He hesitantly asked.  
  
Pearce nodded again. 

“If you’re asking if it’s true that he was a rapist?  The answer is yes.  And yes, he planned to do the same to Serena…before he killed her of course.”

Patrick's face gave nothing away as to what he was feeling.  He looked his daughter in the eyes.  "I was wrong about him.  For that I…I can only apologize."  
  
"Yeah. Well, fortunately someone came to Serena’s rescue."  Pearce knew the words would burn her father.  A part of her wanted them to.  "I need to go."  She went to move forward only to stumble a bit.  Patrick caught her by the elbow and led her to a nearby chair. 

"You look like hell, Pearce.  You need to get some rest."

"I need to see Serena."

He gave her a stern look.  "Pearce, you know that’s against policy."

"I am fully aware of the hospital's policy on unauthorized visitors, but if you think for one moment that I'm not going in there to see her, you're bloody insane.  You can call security if you want to drag me out, but I'm still going in there."

He looked at her for a moment then shook his head.  He saw that same belligerent look in her eyes when she was going after something she wanted.  She had gotten that trait from him. It nearly made him proud.

"I was informed by one of her colleagues that her family will be arriving soon.  You should probably make your visit quick then."

Pearce made her way through the busy halls of ICU until she reached the recovery unit.  She placed her hand on the door and slowly pushed it open.  She was surprised to see Alex sitting quietly by the bed.

"I thought I'd keep her company until you got here."

Pearce's focus was all on Serena's still form.  She nodded absently at whatever Alex had just said to her as she took a step inside the room.  She bit the inside of her jaw when she saw the white bandage over Serena's left temple; dark bruises creating a colorful mosaic on the other side.    _"He bruised that beautiful face of yours."_ __  
  
Alex moved closer to Pearce and guided her to the chair by the bed.  "Your father said that she looks worse than she actually is."  Alex said as if she was reading Pearce's thoughts.  "It's mainly bruises and swelling.  Other than the fracture, nothing was broken."

Pearce swallowed hard as she reached out and took one of Serena's hands into her own. It was limp and cold.  She knew from a doctor's point of view that her father was right.  She knew what all the machines were for and that they did indeed give the appearance of a more severe situation.  However, as a girlfriend looking down at the woman she loved, everything inside her rebelled against what she was seeing.  She allowed her eyes to scan Serena's body from head to toe.  She paused briefly at her chest watching it rise and fall at a steady pace.  Pearce hadn't even realized that she had started to cry until she felt the tears fall on her hands.

"I knew I should have come to pick you up.  Why didn't you let me?  Why do you have to be so bloody stubborn with me?"  Pearce said softly as she gently brushed Serena's hair away from her face.

Alex took a step back suddenly feeling like an intruder.  "I'll be outside if you need me."

Pearce nodded then returned her attentions to Serena.  "I'm so sorry that this happened to you.  I feel like this is all my fault.  Maybe if you had never met me…or if I'd just stayed away from you...but I couldn't.  I fell in love with you.  I just never knew what that would cost you."

The sound of the door interrupted Pearce.  She turned expecting to see Alex or even security only to find an older woman standing there.

"I suspect that no one ever knows what love will cost until it's too late."   The woman said softly. 

When she took a step farther into the room, Pearce instinctively stood protectively blocking her path to Serena.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Diane Southerlyn.  I'm Serena's mother."  She moved closer to the other side of the bed.  She placed a hand on Serena's face before looking back at Pearce.   "And.... you must be Pearce."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23** ****  
  
Olivia slumped down into one of the chairs in the waiting area.  The exhaustion from the last couple of days was finally catching up with her.  She looked down at herself and noticed the blood smudged on her blouse.

"Damn, I really liked this shirt."

"So did I."

She glanced up and saw Alex standing in front of her.  She held out a green shirt to her.  "I found fresh scrubs in a closet down the hall.  I'm sure they won't miss one shirt."

"Thanks."  Olivia said taking the shirt.

Alex slipped into the seat next to her.  They sat in silence for a while like they did after most difficult cases came to a head. 

"The last few days have been crazy haven't they?"

"Crazy would be a very good word for it."  Olivia said laying her head back with a sigh.

"Thank you." Alex replied quietly.

"For what?"

"For finding Serena...If you guys hadn't gotten to her..."

"We did.  That's all that matters.  She's safe now."  
  
"And so are you."   Alex reached over and brushed Olivia's tousled hair away from her eyes.  "You know...no matter how many times you go out on these cases, I can never get used to it.  I can never get used to the idea that you might not come home.  It scares the hell out of me."

Olivia reached up and took Alex's hand into her own and brought it to her lips.  "That will never happen.  I'll always come home...because you are my home."

Alex watched the detective as she rolled her shoulders trying to ease the fatigue built up in them.  She smiled sadly.  "Come here.  Let me rub your shoulders."

"You don't have to do that.  I'm fine."

"You're exhausted.  Now come here."

Olivia sat up and turned in her seat.  Alex pulled Olivia back into her.  She leaned down and kissed the side of Olivia's neck as her hands ran over taunt shoulders.  Olivia let out a soft moan as she massaged them gently.

"God, you are so tense."

"Had a lot...mmh...on my mind lately."

"That's an understatement."  Alex chuckled lightly.  "Listen, I was thinking..."

"Hmm... Alexandra Cabot was thinking.  We should alert the press about this new development."   Olivia smirked.

Alex pinched her shoulder making Olivia wince playfully.  "Oww!  It still amazes me.  All the years of knowing you, I never would have guessed you'd be an abusive girlfriend."

Alex shook her head.  "Now, I know you're exhausted.  You're just plain silly now."

Olivia leaned back into Alex's arms enjoying the feel of them around her.  "For once, I can't disagree with you, Counselor.  As a matter of fact...."

The singsong sound of a cell phone interrupted their moment.  Both reached for their phones.  "It's mine."  Olivia said before flipping it open.  "Benson"  
  
Alex rested her chin on Olivia's head as the brunette spoke on the phone.  She could feel the tension return to her shoulders.  Olivia reluctantly moved out of Alex's embrace.

"Yeah, I got it.  I'll meet you there."

She hung up the phone and turned to face Alex.  "That was Elliot.  They need me down at the warehouse.  I'm sorry, babe.  I have to go."

Alex nodded.  "It's okay.  I'm planning on staying around here until Serena's family gets here anyway."

"Okay."  Olivia stood and looked down at herself again.  She picked up the shirt that Alex had given her and tossed it over her shoulder.  "I'll put this on when I get where I'm going.  I'll see you later."

A few moments passed before Alex called out to her.  "Liv wait!"

Olivia immediately stopped.  "What's wrong?"

Alex stood and approached her.  She helped Olivia pull on her coat then tightened it around her.  "Don't forget to put on your scarf and your gloves.  It's cold out."

Olivia smiled warmly.  She knew Alex didn't fuss over her due to the weather.  She had learned that sometimes Alex just needed to be near her. This entire mess had obviously put the attorney on edge.

Olivia pulled her into her arms and held her tightly.  "Hey.  Everything is okay. We’re all okay.”

Alex sighed heavily as she buried herself in Olivia’s arms.  “I love you so much, Liv.”

Olivia kissed her temple.  “I love you too, Counselor.  I promise you that when this is all over, it’s just going to be you and me alone for days."  She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Alex's cheek before pulling away. 

Alex smiled. “I’m holding you to that.”

“Count on it, sweetheart.” Olivia said.  A moment later, she was gone.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Pearce cleared her throat and relaxed her stance a little.  "Mrs. Southerlyn, I'm sorry that this happened."

"Now is not the time for that.  We will have plenty of time to speak about that later." She interrupted.  "Right now, I'm more worried about my daughter."

Pearce nodded, not surprised by the cool reception she was receiving from Serena's mother.  In fact, she was expecting much worse.  When she finally looked up, she saw her father standing behind Serena's mother.

"I've already filled Mrs. Southerlyn in on her daughter's condition."  Patrick said giving Pearce a stern look.  "You can relieve yourself now, doctor."

"Yes Sir."  Pearce didn't want to leave Serena's side, but she knew that now was not the time to argue with her father nor upset Serena's mother.

"That won't be necessary.  I'm sure that Serena would want her to stay."

Pearce stood still, eyes still lowered.

Serena's mother looked at Patrick Delong and nodded.  "Thank you again for everything you did for my daughter."

"It's not necessary.  If you will excuse me, I need to see another patient."  He reached out and touched Pearce's arm affectionately.  "I will check in with you later."  
  
Pearce looked down at the spot where her father had just touched her.  She didn't know what to make of things.  Her father had been more affectionate within the last few hours than he had been in years.  It was a little surreal.  Realizing Serena's mother was speaking to her, she looked up.

"I imagine that it must be...challenging working alongside a parent every day."  She said evenly.

"How did you...."  
  
She pointed to Pearce's badge.  "You two have the same last name and the resemblance is there.  You have his eyes."  
  
Pearce wrung her hands tightly together feeling incredibly nervous under the woman's glare.

"Serena's brothers are in the waiting room.  They wanted to come in here to see her, but when I learned that you were in here with her.... I thought it might be wise to have a word with you first."

Pearce nodded.   _Here we go._ She thought as she mentally prepared herself for the tongue lashing of her life.

"We can go to my office if you'd like.  I'd rather not do anything to upset Serena."

"There is no need.  I don't plan on upsetting my daughter with what I have to say."  She paused for a moment to look down at Serena.  "I know that the man who attacked Serena was once involved with you.  I spoke with Alexandra at length on our way here."

Pearce lowered her head and focused on the floor.  "Mrs. Southerlyn, I know what you must think and..."

"I don't think you do."  She took a step closer to Pearce.  "Hold your head up, young lady."   She waited until Pearce met her eyes.  "I know you may feel responsible, but now is not the time to point fingers or delve in self-pity.  What matters is Serena's recovery.  Now, my little girl needs all the love and support in the world right now.  Can I count on you to be here for her.....or was she wrong about you?"

"Yes....I mean no...."  She stopped and took a deep breath.  "What I mean is... I'm not leaving her."

"Good.  Now, Serena tells me that you're this fancy doctor.  The first thing you can do is explain all this medical stuff to us in a way that I can understand it better.  You can do that can't you?"

"Yes ma'am.  I'll do my best."

"Yes...I'm sure you will."

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25** ****  
  
Nearly an hour later, Pearce and Diane left Serena's room.  They were met by Serena's brothers in the waiting area.  Again Pearce felt a little uneasy.  She felt Diane's hand on her forearm steadying her. 

"Boys...this is Serena's friend, Pearce.  Pearce, these are Serena's older brothers.  This is the oldest, Luke.  Next is Jacob.  And these are the twins, Stephen and Samuel."

Pearce shook each one of their hands.  They all had a death grip.  She struggled not to wince when they squeezed her delicate hand.  She didn't know if it was their Midwestern upbringing or that they were angry with her.  She noticed the resemblances right away.  They all had the golden locks and same dazzling blue eyes.  The oldest, Luke, could have been Serena's twin.

"I regret that we had to meet under these circumstances."  Pearce said quietly.

"I agree."  Luke replied simply.  The others nodded in agreement.  "They catch the guy who did this to my baby sister?"

"Yes, they did."

Luke nodded.  "Good."

"You're a doctor, right?"  Jacob interrupted.

"Uhh...yes, I am."

"How is she...really?"

Pearce told them about Serena's injuries and possible complications, careful of her words.   She tried to explain things in a way they could understand without sounding condescending.  She was wondering if she had gotten it all wrong for a moment.  Luckily for her, they all seemed more interested in seeing their sister rather than questioning her further.  
  
Once alone in the waiting room, Pearce turned back to Diane.  "You have very handsome sons.  They all look like you and they're all so...tall."

Diane smiled for the first time since she'd arrived.  "They took after their father in that department.  My late husband was 6'8."

"I suppose Serena inherited her height from you though." Pearce returned the smile noting the older blonde's petite stature.

Diane sat down and patted the seat next to her.  Pearce obediently sat down.

"I used to call her my little Rena.  She hated that by the way.  She would always say that she could do everything that those boys could do and do it better.  Most of the time she was right...much to their dismay."  She chuckled.    
  
"That does sound like Serena."  
  
"Out of all my children, it still surprises me that my only girl would be most headstrong of them all.  That girl has never backed down from anything.  Most people thought it was the boys that held our family together after my husband passed away, but they were wrong.  It was always Serena.  One cross word from their sister and those grown men in there turn into little boys again."

"I guess that's what makes her such a good prosecutor.  She's had practice."

Diane nodded.  "You're probably right."

Pearce stared off into space for a while.  She seemed to have forgotten that she wasn't alone or maybe she simply didn't care.  She just started talking and Diane sat back and listened.

"I never expected to love her the way I do.  We were both convinced that things wouldn't become serious.  I think we both wanted it that way. Then, one day I just looked at her and I knew.  I just knew that she was it.  She was the one." 

“My daughter doesn’t share much with me about her love life, but she couldn’t stop talking about you.  That told me all I needed to know about you.”

Pearce paused and took a deep breath.  "I was so afraid for her.  I didn't know where she was or if she was alright.   You have to know that if I had known..."

Pearce dropped her head into her hands.  She choked back the sobs as they erupted from her chest.  Diane gently rubbed her back as she cried.

"That's it.  Let it all out.  She's going to be alright now.  You can let go."

After a long cry, Pearce finally lifted her head.  She looked at Diane with pleading eyes.  "I promise that I won't let anything happen to her again.  I swear it."

Diane was touched by the compassion in the young woman's voice.  "I believe that....and I think she does too." 

Diane smiled warmly finally understanding what her daughter saw in the woman before her.  "Yes, I think she was right about you."

**_Two Days Later..._ **

Olivia rounded the corner and found Alex sitting alone in the small waiting room.

"Hey.”

Alex smiled tiredly.  “Hey you.”

“You looked like you could use one of these." Olivia said handing Alex a fresh cup of coffee.

Alex nearly moaned taking in the Starbucks logo.  She’d take anything other than the motor oil disguised as coffee from the cafeteria. 

"Thank you.  You always know exactly what I need, don't you?"  Alex took the cup then leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"How's Serena doing?" Olivia asked.

"Better, I think.  She's still on the ventilator, but she’s stable and her vitals have improved a lot.  If nothing happens, the doctors say they plan to take her off the vent today and wane the drugs.  She should wake on her own after that.”

“What about her injuries?” Olivia asked gesturing towards her head.

“There will be some lingering effects of the head injury, but the doctors haven’t seen any more swelling and seem to think she's making good progress.  It will take some time, but they think she will make a full recovery."

"That's good news.  I'm sure Pearce and Serena's family are all relieved.  By the way, I had no idea Serena had so many brothers.  And they’re all so tall.  It’s like having their own professional basketball team." Olivia said with humor.

Alex laughed, happy for the moment of brevity.  “Yes.  They are quite the handful too. They’re all sports fanatics so you’d love them.”

Olivia laughed.  “So, how in the hell did Serena end up so short…and so unathletic?”

“It will all make sense when you see Mrs. Southerlyn.  Serena takes after her while those boys took after their father.  Some of their family photos are hilarious.”

Olivia nodded in understanding.  “Ah. I guess opposites really do attract.”

Alex tilted her head and placed a quick kiss on Olivia’s cheek.  “Yeah…just look at us.”

"Yeah.”

Alex placed her coffee down and got back to business.  “So, what's the word on Webster?  I haven't had a chance to check in with all the madness around here."

Olivia sighed.  "He pulled through surgery.  It's still touch and go though.  They have him in a secure area with guards outside his door."

Alex raised a brow.  "They think he's still that much of a threat?"

Olivia took a sip of her own coffee and shook her head.  "The guards are for  _his_ protection.  Your boss, the DA, is worried that Webster might meet his fate a little ahead of schedule due to Serena's association with the police.  A lot of people love her and would be very pleased to see Webster dead for what he put her through."  
  
"I hate to say it, but I don’t think I wouldn't lose one minute of sleep if someone pulled the plug on that bastard." Alex said grimly.

Olivia nodded in understanding as she tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind the other woman’s ear.  "I agree, but that's just not the world we live in… and that’s not who you are."

Alex sighed and dropped her head to Olivia’s shoulder, the brunette instinctively wrapping an arm around her pulling her close.  "You’re right.  I know that.  But… sometimes I wonder if what we do even makes a difference."

Olivia pulled back and looked into Alex’s eyes.  "Hey, don't say that.  You know we make a difference.  I know we may see a lot of horrible things and we sometimes see the very worst of people, but we also see the survivors.  That’s who we fight for.

Alex tilted her head and smiled softly.  “When did you become the positive one between us?”

Olivia shrugged. “I don’t know.  I guess this entire nightmare, seeing the pain in Pearce’s eyes… what Serena went through, I guess it put a lot of things in perspective for me.  I just kept thinking what if it had been you?  I don’t know if I’d be able to survive that.”

“Don’t torture yourself like that, Liv.”

“You know… its okay.  I think I realized that I don’t want to live my life waiting for the something bad to happen.  I don’t want to waste another minute wondering if I’m going to turn out like my father.”

When Alex went to speak, Olivia placed a finger over her lips. “I know what you’re going to say.  I’m not him and I’m never going to be like him.  I don’t know if I will every truly believe that, but this entire mess made me realize just how quickly things can change and be taken away.  I’m not taking my life…our life together for granted anymore.  I just want to be with you and love you… and be happy.  I want what we have every day for the rest of my life.  Everything else, all that other stuff just doesn’t matter.”

Alex smiled as a tear made its way down her cheek.  Olivia gently wiped it away before placing a soft kiss there.

Alex looked at Olivia for a moment and smiled.  She took a deep cleansing breath and released it slowly, suddenly feeling all of the tension from the past few weeks wash away.  “I love you so much, Olivia."

Olivia's eyes fluttered shut as she leaned in resting their foreheads together.  "God, I will never get tired of those words.  I love you too.” 

They sat in silence for a long while simply enjoying the closeness.

“I've missed you, you know.  I’ve missed this."  Alex said tenderly caressing the detective’s face.

The tender touch made the detective realize that in the chaos of things, she hadn't really seen Alex in days.

"I’ve missed you too."

"Have you been home at all?"

Olivia moved back and frowned trying to sort through the last few days.  "No. Spent the last few nights in the crib.  We’ve been trying to sort out this mess with Webster and how he got all of his information. You?”  

“Briefly.  I've basically been living out of my office the last couple of days.  What did you find out about Webster?  He had to have had help.”

Olivia nodded. “Mostly just lackeys and a couple of private investigators that he’d hired.  They just gathered the information Webster asked for and didn’t ask questions. He told them that Pearce was his fiancé and he suspected her of cheating.”

Alex shook her head.  "He was really obsessed with her, wasn’t he?”

“Obviously.  You should have seen his apartment here in the city.  It’s practically a shrine to Pearce.  It was creepy.  I’m not going to tell Pearce about it unless we have to for the trial.  He had photos of her everywhere, on nearly every surface.  The photos with Serena in them had her face marked out in red.  There were a few of you but it was obvious that you weren’t a target.  It was only because you were with Serena.”  


A shiver ran over Alex’s body at the thought of being watched by a maniac.

“I found out this morning that Branch wants me to sit second chair to McCoy on this one.  So, let me know if you guys find anything else that can help.  If Webster pulls through, I want to nail his ass so hard that he'll wish that he'd actually died."

Olivia couldn't hide her smirk.  "Wow. There's the hot tempered ADA that I know and love. Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you get all fired up?"

Alex laughed.  “No, you haven’t.”

“Well, let me tell you… I think you’re the sexiest ADA in Manhattan.”

Alex raised a brow.  “Only Manhattan?”

“Uh…New York State… No, the country.  Wait!  How about the entire world?”

Alex pretended to think it over.  “Better.”  Alex rolled her eyes and playfully bumped her shoulder.  "You know, you’re not half bad yourself detective."

"Wow.”  Olivia laughed.  “That’s all I get, is not half bad?"

Alex shrugged her shoulders.  "How’s this?  I'm a sucker for a tall detective with the body men would go to war over, the most beautiful, soulful brown eyes I've ever seen, with a heavenly smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts."

Olivia blushed deeply.  "You’re very good with words, Counselor." 

There was a long pause between them.  "Alex?"

"Yes."

"You know that I would never let anything happen to you, right?" Olivia said suddenly becoming serious again.

Alex tilted her head to the side to take in Olivia's blank expression.  "Of course I do."  She reached over and took her hand.  "I know you'd protect me no matter what."

"I won't hurt you either, Alex...not like that."  Olivia said in a low tone.  
  
Alex understood what she was being told.  "I know you won't...because I would never let you."

Olivia looked up and Alex gave her a soft smile.  "I know you look at me and you think that I'm made of glass.  You feel like you have to protect me and take care of me.  You always have.  But I'm a big girl Olivia.  I live in this big bad world alongside you.  I can take care of myself.  And I know that you said you’re done worrying about your past and your father, but I need to say something to you and I need you to really listen to me so we can put this behind us once and for all.”

Olivia simply nodded.   
  
She took Olivia's face in her hands and stared into her eyes.  "There was never a doubt in my mind that I was always safe with you.  That is because I’ve always known that you would never be anything like the man who fathered you…because you're you... the woman that I adore.  I know who that is."  She moved her hands down and took Olivia's hands into hers.  "You might have his hands...his hair color...or even his smile, but none of that matters because those are just physical characteristics.  The physical fades and it changes.  The important thing is that he's not in here."  She placed a hand over Olivia's heart.   "...and he never will be."

Olivia blinked back the tears threatening to overflow.  She leaned in and kissed Alex with all the love and devotion she felt inside.  She pulled back and rested her forehead against Alex's.  "I must have done something right in my life to have ended up with you."

Alex laughed. "Oh come on.  You know that I fell for you the first time you yelled at me and called me an uptight, pampered debutante.  I had never been so pissed off **_and_** turned on in my entire life."

"And all this time, I thought it was the jeans and my big gun that got to you."  Olivia wiggled her brows.

Alex laughed.  "Well, they didn't hurt."

Olivia sobered a little.  She looked up almost bashfully. "All kidding aside...I fell for you the moment I laid my eyes on you, Cabot.  You were the most spectacular thing I'd ever seen.  You still are."

Alex's heart nearly melted.  "Aww.  What has gotten into you today? Who would have ever known that kick ass Detective Benson was such a romantic?"

Olivia blushed.  "Shh... not so loud.  I have a reputation as a badass stud to protect, you know."

"Right...of course.  I'll have to try to control myself then."  Alex said with mock seriousness pulling out of Olivia's arms.

"Oh hell!  Who cares about an old reputation."  Olivia pulled Alex back to her and held her close. 

Alex kissed her chastely before standing.  Wordlessly, the blonde held out her hand.  Olivia looked up at her curiously taking the outstretched hand.  "Where are we going?"

Alex raised a suggestive brow. “Taking you home to see if you can live up to that reputation.  Think you can handle that, Detective…Stud?”

Olivia grinned as Alex pulled her down the sterile hallway. She glanced up towards the heavens. "God I love this woman."

Pearce rounded the corner just in time to see her two friends leaving, noting the smiles on their faces.  She couldn't help but think that everything seemed to be falling back into place.  The only thing that would make things perfect was if Serena would wake up and be fine again.

"Dr. Delong?"

Pearce turned in the direction of the questioning voice.  She saw a young nurse.  "Yes."

"I know you're officially off duty, but there was a little boy just brought in with severe thoracic trauma.  We paged Dr. Ellis, but he's in the middle of another procedure."

"Isn't there another doctor on call that can handle it?"  Pearce asked reluctant to leave before Serena.  She knew the woman would be taken off the vent and would be waking up at some point.

"I'm sorry.  You know I wouldn't ask if there were someone else."

Pearce hesitated before finally nodding.  "I'll scrub in."

She turned and took one last look into Serena's room.  Her mother and brothers were sitting quietly by her side.  Pearce took a deep breath and focused her thoughts on the job as she headed towards the OR.

 _At least I'll be of some use to someone._ __  
  



	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26** ****  
  
A few hours later, Pearce carefully removed the bloody gloves and tossed them in the bin before scrubbing out.  She took a small towel and wiped the sweat from her brow.

"That was a hell of a job in there, Delong." Her colleague said as he stepped up to the scrub sink beside her.  "I guess knowing that your friend is awake and on the mend made it easier to concentrate."

Pearce froze.  "What did you say?"

"Your friend...or girlfriend I guess.  I wasn't sure what your status was.  I don't like to listen to rumors."  He noticed the surprised look on her face.  "You did know that she was awake, right?"

Pearce shook her head wordlessly.  

"Yeah.  I heard a nurse talking about it just after we started.  I assumed you knew."

Before he finished his last statement, Pearce was already racing down the hallway.  She skipped the elevator and took the stairs two at a time.  The nurses smiled as they saw her running towards the room in ICU.  When she burst through the door, all heads looked up at her.  Pearce looked around wildly finally focusing in on the one pair of blue eyes that she'd been waiting to see for days.  They were sleepy and barely open, but they were still open.

"There's my Doc.  You weren't here when I woke up."  Serena said weakly in a scratchy voice.

"I...I.... there was a little boy..."  Pearce was still breathing hard from racing up five flights of steps.

"Nurses said… you were… in surgery."  Serena spoke slowly still slightly winded. She held out her hand to Pearce.

Pearce willed her legs to move and somehow made her way over to the bed.  Samuel stood and gave up his chair by the bed. She didn’t even notice him guiding her down into it.

Pearce took the outstretched hand gently.  She leaned in close to Serena's face.  "You should have told them to come and get me."

Serena shook her head.  "No.  Patients… first, remember?"

"You  _are_  my number one patient.  You know that." 

Pearce ran her fingers along Serena's face.  She looked into Serena's eyes.  They were sleepy, but still a vibrant blue.  "God, have your eyes always been this blue?"

Serena smiled weakly.  Closing her eyes for a brief moment.  "You sure… you're not… the one…with a bump on the head…Doc?"

Diane and her sons stood back and gave them a little space.  Diane had tears in her eyes as she witnessed the touching moment.  Even the guys found themselves getting a little choked up.

"I was so worried about you." Pearce whispered.

"I know...next time… you come and… pick me up."

Serena's attempt to make Pearce smile hadn't worked.  Pearce was openly crying. 

"I am so sorry for all of this.  I didn't tell you...I should have known that....."

"Shh....stop that.  Don't… want to… see you cry."

"But..."

"Not your fault.  And I will not… have you blaming yourself…young lady."  Serena said trying to sound as stern as possible but failing miserably.

This time she was able to draw a small smile out of Pearce.  She wiped her eyes.  "You're still trying to boss me around, huh?"

"What… I do…best."

Peace could tell she was getting tired.  She gave her a quick once over.  "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" 

"I feel okay.”  She paused to catch her breath.  “My head was hurting a little, but… nurse gave me…something good.  Now, I feel…great."  She smiled.  "You people have… some really good drugs here."

They all giggled a little.  Pearce smiled and shook her head.  "What am I going to do with you?"

"Have lots…of ideas."  Serena winked causing Pearce to blush.

Before Pearce could respond, her pager went off.  She glanced down at it and quickly switched it off.

"They…need you."

Pearce shook her head and kissed Serena's hand.  "They can get someone else.  You're more important right now."

"Kiss me… before…you go."

Pearce frowned.  "Go?  You're kicking me out?"

"Not going anywhere.....except… back to sleep.  So, kiss me…then go do…what you have to do, Doc."

Serena’s eyes drifted shut.  Pearce thought she’d fallen asleep until they opened and pinned her with a familiar glare.

“I’m…waiting, Doc.”

Pearce glanced around the room.  "Uh…You want me to kiss you...right now?"

"Yes… and make it… good.  I've earned it."

"But...Serena...."  Pearce blushed and tilted her head towards the others in the room.  "We kind of have company and your brothers are ...really, really big."

A few chuckles could be heard from across the room, further embarrassing the doctor.   Serena turned her head towards them.  "Boys.... get out… so my girlfriend can kiss me."

Pearce's eyes widened and she blushed even more.  "Serena!"

"Alright.... turn around then...."  She turned back to Pearce.   "...because she's not leaving…until she kisses me."

Pearce shook her head and smiled.  "You are by far the most stubborn woman I've ever met..."  She stood and leaned down over the bed.  She kissed Serena softly and lovingly on the lips then pulled back.  "....and I love you madly."

"Love you… too.  Now… go…save people."

"Only because you’re kicking me out.” Pearce placed a gentle kiss on Serena’s forehead.  “I'll be back as soon as I can.  Don't you go anywhere, okay?  I've missed you."

"Scouts… honor."  Serena, obviously feeling the drugs, held up two fingers…which looked more like she was flipping the bird. 

One of Serena's brothers laughed.  "You weren't a girl scout, Rena."

Pearce flashed a million dollar smile complete with dimples.  "It doesn't matter.  I'll take her word for it."  She gave Serena another quick kiss and a wink before leaving the room.

Serena looked over at her mother.  "So... what do you think?"

"I think she's lovely, sweetheart."

"Did you hear… the accent?"  Serena asked.  "Kinda…like Prince Charming right?"

Diane chuckled and caressed her daughter's cheek.  "Yes sweetheart, but I think you mean Princess Charming, don't you?"

"Right."  Serena smiled then looked at her brothers who were all leaning around wall with their arms folded.  "What's…the verdict guys?"

There was a long silence before Stephen spoke up.  "I think that we are all in agreement when I say that...your girlfriend is incredibly hot!"  A broad grin spread across his face.  "Gorgeous  _and_  rich.  Nice catch, sis."

Serena narrowed her eyes.  "Who said that?"

"Oh...just about everyone in this place.  You'd be surprised what the nurses could tell you about the doctors here."  Everyone looked at him strangely.  He shrugged his shoulders.  "What?! I wanted to know who my baby sister was involved with, that's all."

"Yeah, right.  You were just trying to find out if she had a sister that was single." Sam quipped.  Everyone laughed. 

Sam looked at Serena and bit his lip.  "So.....does she....have a sister?"

"Sorry guys.  She's… one of a kind." Serena said with a smile before drifting off to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**  
  
It was a few hours before Pearce made it back to Serena's room.  She crept in as quietly as possible hoping not to wake her.  She found Serena sound asleep along with her brother, Luke, who was passed out in one of the chairs.  She gently shook his shoulder.  
  
He jumped slightly.  "It's just me, Luke."  
  
He stretched.  "Hey Pearce..... what time is it?"

Pearce glanced at her watch.  "Uh.... a little past midnight.  I'm guessing you got the night shift."

"Yeah.  The guys finally talked Mom into going back to the hotel with them, but she insisted that someone stay with Serena."

Pearce grimaced.  "Sorry.  I've slept in those chairs.  They aren't very comfortable."

"No, they aren't, but I don't mind."  Luke tried to rub out the kinks in his back.  "Oh by the way, thanks for arranging for us to stay.  Although you didn't have to set us up at the St. Regis.  I gotta tell ya, that place is pretty swanky."

Pearce waved him off.  "It was nothing.  It was the least I could do."

"You have to at least let us pay you back for all of this?"

"Not a chance. I believe Serena would say that topic is non-negotiable."

He looked at her for a long time.  "You really do care about my sister don't you?"  
  
"I love your sister."  She answered honestly.

"Look, I know we kind of gave you the cold shoulder when we arrived but...."

"You don't owe me any explanation, Luke.  I understand."

"I don't think you do.  See.... the last person Serena was involved with broke her heart.  I know she's a big girl and she's going to get hurt sometimes, but... she's still my baby sister.   You know what I'm trying to say?"

"You don't want to see her hurt again."  Pearce added.

Luke nodded.  "No, I don't."

"I give you my word that I'll do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen, Luke.  I just want to make her happy."  
  
"Oh, I think you're doing an okay job at that so far.  We can't get her to shut up about you." He grinned.

Pearce blushed.  "Sorry.  It must be those damn drugs they have her on."

"I don't think it’s the drugs.  It's been a long time since I've seen my little sister smile so much...and I mean really smile."  He shrugged his shoulders.  "It's nice.  I think you're good for her."

Pearce shuffled her feet feeling embarrassed by his compliment.  "Look....why don't you go back to the hotel and get some rest?  I'll stay with her tonight."

Luke smiled at her and Pearce saw that familiar Southerlyn twinkle in his eyes.  It was the look she'd seen in Serena's eyes a hundred times before.  There was something comforting about it.

“Something told me that you were going to say that."  He stood and gathered his coat.  "You'll call if there is any change, right?"

"Of course."

He nodded then leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Serena's forehead.  "I guess I'll see you in the morning then."

"Goodnight Luke."

“Goodnight, Pearce."

After Luke had left, Pearce pulled the chair closer to the bed and started to sit down.

"That chair can’t be…half as comfortable as this bed."

Pearce nearly jumped out of her own skin.  She brought her hand up to her chest.  "Bloody hell, Serena!  I thought you were asleep."

  
Serena smiled sleepily.  "I heard your voice.   I thought I was dreaming."

  
Pearce noticed the blonde seemed much stronger than she had earlier.  Her breathing was more even and her voice was sturdier.  She did a quick scan of the monitors, silently evaluating her vitals.

 

"I'm sorry I woke you, luv."  She leaned over and gently brushed the hair from Serena's brow.

  
"It's okay.  You’re better than the dream anyway."

  
Pearce sat back a little and sighed as she stretched out her back.  Serena watched her.  "You look tired, Doc."

  
Pearce shrugged her shoulders.  "No more than usual.  It's been a long few days."

Serena looked at her for a moment.  "I'm fine, but you still have that worry line… in your forehead.  What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  I'm just... I'm just really glad to be able to just look at you.  How are you feeling?"

"Much better now… that you're here."  She tugged on Pearce's arm.   "Lie down…with me."

Pearce hesitated. She could see Serena was growing tired again. "Serena, I don't think that's a really good idea.  You should rest."

"Why not?"  Serena pouted.

"I... I don't know.  It just is."

Serena rolled her eyes.  "Pearce."

"You're all bruised and I don't want to hurt you.   I'm a restless sleeper, remember?"

"That little white lie… might actually work on someone who hasn't slept… with you before.  You barely move."

"Serena...."

"You're not going to hurt me."  She tugged on Pearce's arm again.  "Please.... I need you to hold me."

Pearce looked into Serena's tired eyes and saw something different.  It wasn’t exhaustion or pain she saw. There was something there that looked urgent... almost needy.

"Are you alright?"

"Please... I need you to make him go away."

"Nightmares?"  Pearce asked simply.

Serena nodded in silent response.  It was a few moments before she spoke.  "I never see his face, but I hear his voice.  I can almost feel his hands on me again and I.... I...."

Serena shook her head and lay her head back on the pillow.  She stared up at the ceiling in silence.

Without another word, Pearce pulled the stethoscope from around her neck and placed it on the table.  She slipped off her shoes and gently sat down on the bed.  Serena slowly moved over and made room.  Pearce laid back and held her arm up allowing Serena to rest against her.  Still mindful of Serena's bruises, Pearce gently brought her arm down and around Serena's shoulders pulling her closer.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not now.  Is that okay?"

"Whatever you need, darling."

"Thank you."

A throaty I love you was Pearce's only response. 

"I love you too."

For a few minutes, they simply lay there in the quietness of the room.  Serena buried her face into Pearce's neck taking in the familiar scent of her.  It always made her feel safe. 

Pearce could feel Serena's fingers gripping tightly at her shirt.  She reached down and took Serena's hand into her own and kissed it. 

"I'm not going anywhere.  You can rest now.  I'll keep the bad dreams away.  I promise."

They both closed their eyes and allowed sleep to finally take them over.

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

  
The morning sun blazed through the window awakening Olivia from her peaceful slumber.  As she opened her eyes, she was greeted with the most delightful sight.  Alex was lying there staring back at her with a childlike smile on her face.  Their bodies were tangled together and Alex was gently tracing the lines of her face.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Mmm....about an hour or so."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

“Because you've been working really hard lately and..."  She smiled slyly.  "I think I might have worn you out last night."

An unconscious smile came to Olivia's face as she recalled the events from the previous evening.  Alex had dragged her home and ravaged her as soon as they walked through the front door.  They had continued the evening with a long sensual bubble bath together in the candle lit bathroom.  Alex had filled the tub with rose petals and scented oils.  Olivia was even more pleasantly surprised by the full body massage that followed, which led to unbelievable love-making that lasted late into the night.

  
“You’re looking extremely proud of yourself right now, Counselor.” Olivia chuckled.

Alex traced her fingers over Olivia's lips.  "Oh, I am.  This is also the only time I can just look at you."

Olivia rubbed her face in the way that Alex always found incredibly adorable.  "You know I hate that."

Alex laughed.  "Oh, so you get to watch me but I'm not supposed to do the same to you?"

"You're more beautiful to look at."

"And just what are you?"

"I'm just.... I'm just... me."  
  
"You're just the love of my life and one of the most gorgeous women I've ever known."

"Whatever."  Olivia blushed making Alex laugh.  She loved that she was one of the few people who got to see the bashful side of Olivia.

"You really don't see it, do you?"

Olivia rolled onto her back allowing Alex to rest her head on her shoulder.  "See what, Alexandra?"

Alex shivered hearing her full name in the detective's husky tone.  She loved the way her name sound flowing from her beloved's lips. 

"You don't see how attractive you are." She propped herself up on her elbow and looked down into big brown eyes.  "Men practically drool all over you when we go out; and don't even get me started on the women.  When we first started dating, I thought I was going to have to kick every lesbian's ass in Manhattan…and a few straight ones."

Olivia laughed at the thought of her posh Alexandra Cabot in an ass kicking match over her.  "Alex, don't you think you're exaggerating a bit?  If anything, it would be me doing the ass kicking.  Heads turn when you walk by."

Alex smirked knowing Olivia did have a point.  She could still turn a few heads when she entered a room.  "Maybe, but I only have eyes for you."

"That's what I don't get, Alex.  Why me?"  Olivia asked quietly.

Alex tilted her head and just looked at her.  The question seemed to catch the usually quick witted attorney off guard. 

"What do you mean... why you?"

"Why did you choose me when you could have had your choice of anyone? I think I've proven that I'm not the easiest person to love; not to mention all the emotional baggage that comes along with me."

"You mean it wasn't clear to you even after last night?"  Alex chuckled.

"Sex, no matter how good, can only go so far.  Why would you settle for someone like me?"

Alex could tell by the tone of Olivia's voice that she wasn't kidding anymore.  She maneuvered her body so that she was lying directly on top of Olivia.  "Let's just get one thing straight off the top.  Alexandra Cabot has never settled for anything and never will.  Secondly, you couldn't be more wrong.  You are the easiest person to love."

She smiled as she ran her fingers through Olivia's dark hair.  "It's all the little things that make you so lovable.  I know you don't think I notice them, but I do.  I love the way you place my keys next to my briefcase every night before you come to bed so I don't stress out looking for them in the morning.  I love how you fuss over me eating three balanced meals a day, even though your eating habits are quite questionable.  I love that you leave me little sticky notes on my briefs wishing me luck when I have a big trial."  Alex lowered her voice to a whisper and looked into Olivia's eyes for a moment.  "I love how you reach for me in the middle of the night just so you can have me close."  
  
When Olivia blushed a deep red Alex smiled.  "Yes, I know about that."

"I even love how you put me first....even when you know I don't want you to.  And just so you know... the sex is not just good, it's amazing."

Olivia looked up into piercing blue eyes and was nearly overwhelmed by the depth of love she saw staring back at her.  She reached up and cupped Alex's cheek.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'll square up with whoever I owe later."

Alex grinned.  "You could start by allowing me to wake you up properly."

Olivia raised a brow.  "I woke up to a gorgeous blonde lying naked in my bed after a night of rather athletic and....shall we say... creative sex.  I don't think I could wake up any better than that."

"Really?  That's too bad because I was thinking that I could maybe...."  Alex leaned down and whispered her plans softly into Olivia's ear.  ".... and then after that.... of course I would have to...." She could feel Olivia shiver beneath her as she finished relaying her plans to her.  She pulled back and smiled.

"Oh... well, I think that might be a rather interesting way to begin the day."  In one smooth motion, Olivia flipped them over.  She looked down at Alex with a predatory look in her eyes.  "And I would hate to deprive you of something that you wanted."

"I'm glad you see things my way."  Alex pulled her down for a lingering kiss that quickly turned passionate.  She allowed her hands to move freely over the wonderland above her.  Olivia let out a low growl that made Alex smile. 

"Good morning, Detective."

"Good morning, Counselor."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29** ****  
  
The following morning, Serena awoke to find Pearce missing from her bed.  She didn't have to look very far to find her.  She turned her head and saw Pearce asleep in the chair.  Serena smiled realizing that Pearce must have left the bed once she'd fallen asleep for good.  Her heart warmed at the memory of the doctor holding her close and talking her through her nightmares throughout the night.  As promised, Pearce had chased each one away.  Serena looked down and saw that Pearce's arm was outstretched and her fingers were loosely intertwined with her own.    She also noticed the awkward position Pearce was in.    
  
_"Your back is going to be killing you."_ __  
  
"I don't think she will mind all that much." Came a voice from across the room.

Serena nearly jumped out of her own skin.  She turned quickly and relaxed a little once she saw the other Dr. Delong in the room with her.  He was diligently checking the monitors and writing in a chart.  Her relaxed state didn't last for long as she started remembering their last encounter _.   "...Your pompous ass of a date!"_   rang out in her head and she groaned internally. _Me and my big mouth._ __  
  
"And how are you feeling today, Ms. Southerlyn?"  He asked in a soft tone mindful of his sleeping daughter. 

Serena noticed that although he had an accent, it was not as pronounced as Pearce's.  She swallowed and cleared her throat.  "Umm...much better.  My head hurts a little though."

"That's normal.  Although minor, you did suffer from a skull fracture which is quite serious.  You can expect to have some headaches for a while to come.  They will lessen in intensity and eventually fade."  He pulled out a small light and took a look at her pupils.  "Any blurred vision?"

Serena shook her head.  "No"

"Besides the headache, any other pain?"  
  
“I’m really sore all over."  

He nodded. “You had some significant bruising to your rib and abdominal area.  Fortunately, there were no broken ribs so you should start to feel much better in a few days.  I can have them adjust your morphine pump to a hirer dosage if you’d like.”

Serena shook her head.  “No. It’s not that bad and I’m getting tired of sleeping.”  
  
"Alright then.  However, I will instruct your nurse to give you something for the headache.  It’s best to stay ahead of the pain to keep it under control. I'll be back to check in on you a little later during evening rounds."

He turned to leave and Serena found herself opening her mouth to stop him.  She didn't really know why.  It was as if she couldn't stop herself even though her brain was screaming shut up.

"Umm... Mr...Dr.  Delong... I'd like to talk to you for a moment if I could.  That is if you have the time?" 

He turned and pinned her with sharp eyes.  Serena felt her heart rate increase.   _God, now I know how Pearce_   _felt._ __  
  
He returned to his place next to the bed.  "What can I help you with?"

"I... I just wanted to apologize...."  Serena felt like a nervous teenager under his gaze.  "Um... I know that our last meeting wasn't that pleasant and that was mostly my fault."

Patrick held up his hand and stopped her rambling.  "It's quite alright.  I think I understand the situation better now.  I suppose that I did not make the situation easier for you either.  I could have been more gracious in the situation."

"I'm still sorry that I called you a... a..."

"A pompous ass?"  He supplied with a smirk and a familiar eye twinkle that she recognized all too well.   
  
"Yes, sir.  I apologize for calling you that.  My behavior that evening was... well... uncalled for."

He looked at Serena for a long moment before speaking.  "Ms. Southerlyn...my daughter... seems to care a great deal about you."  
  
"And I care about her as well."  Serena quickly added.  
  
"I can see that."  There was a long silence between them.  He turned his gaze towards Pearce before speaking.  "My daughter and I have had many difficulties over the years.  Things have never been… easy between us.  Most of our troubles stemmed from our conflicting opinions of what was best for her... and her career.  If you were to ask my daughter, I am quite certain that she would say that I haven't been much of a father to her, certainly not the father that she needed.  I think that I was more of a mentor than a father.  Pearce is…brilliant and an exceptional surgeon.  I saw that brilliance even when she was a child.  I wanted so much for her that I fear that I pushed her too hard, until I pushed her away. Now here we are… years later and she thinks that I don’t love her." 

He again glanced over and watched Pearce shift in her sleep.  Serena watched his face as he watched his daughter.  She watched as his eyes softened and the edges of his mouth tilted up into a tiny smile, even if only for a moment.

"But....I have always loved my daughter.  I may not always understand her, but I have always loved her.  I don’t know much about you, Ms. Southerlyn.  I just know that I haven’t seen Pearce so alive in a long time.  I imagine that is your doing.”

"She loves you, you know?"  Serena said simply. “She may not say it, but she does.  I get the feeling she gets that from you; that and the brilliant doctor thing.”

Patrick smiled briefly.  This time there was no mistaking it.  Serena instantly saw the resemblance between this man and the woman she loved.    _She has your smile._ __  
  
"If she still does, I'm not sure that I deserve it.”

“I yell at her in a restaurant filled with people and threw a drink in her face and she took me back." Serena said blushing. “I’d say she’s pretty forgiving.”

Before he could answer, there was a soft tap on the door.  They both turned and saw Alex poking her head inside.

"I'm sorry.  I didn't know you were with your doctor.  I can come back."

"That won't be necessary.  The patient and I were just having a brief....consultation."  He gave Serena a quick glance.  "And she's doing just fine."

Alex smiled.  "Well, that is certainly good news."

"Thank you, Dr. Delong." Serena said giving him a long look.  “Maybe we can speak again soon.”

He tipped his head stoically before slipping out the door.

Alex and Serena both watched the door close completely.  Alex turned back to her friend.  "You okay? What was that about?"

Serena smiled.  "Nothing.  I think today just got off to a good start though."  Her smile grew into a full grin when she saw the vase of flowers in Alex's hand.  "Are those for me?"

Alex nodded and placed the vase on the table next to the others.  There were several large vases of roses, a collection of stuffed animals, and a variety of balloons.  "But it doesn't look like you need more.  Who sent all these?"

"A couple came from a few people from the DA's office.  Arthur Branch sent those and the yellow one is from the guys over at 1-6.  The others...well..."

"Let me guess?  All the others are from sleeping beauty over there?" Alex nudged her head in Pearce's direction.

Serena nodded. 

"Has she even been home yet?"

"Nope.  The poor thing is sleeping in her office and that chair in between shifts so she can be with me.  My mom tried to get her to go home for a little while, but of course she refused."

"You know... it's rather rude to talk about a person as if they are not in the room." Pearce said groggily opening her eyes.

"Good morning sleepy head.  How's your back?"

Pearce sat up and stretched.  Her bones popped.  "Perfect."  She said trying not to wince at the tight muscles in her neck.

"You're a terrible liar, Doc."

Pearce shrugged and gave Serena a dazzling smile before glancing over at Alex.  "Hello, Alex."

"Hi, Pearce."

Pearce stood leaning down to plant a kiss on Serena's forehead.  "And how is my number one patient feeling this morning?"

"Okay, but... I would be even better if I could have a cup of coffee."  Serena said sheepishly.

Pearce shook her head.  "You know you can't have that.  It's in your doctor's orders...literally."

"Pearce, come on."  Serena whined.

Pearce chuckled.  "Sorry, luv.  I'm not your doctor.  My father is.  Apparently, you’ve become his number one priority which is strange in its self.  But the point is, I am not changing the Chief of Staff's orders.  I actually like having a job and I don't need him any more pissed with me as it is."

"But Pearce..."  Serena pleaded giving Pearce her best puppy dog pout.

Pearce laughed.    _God, do you have any idea how adorable you are?  I am in so much trouble._ "Sorry kiddo.  The best I can do is orange juice."  
  
Seeing that her pout wasn't going to get her anywhere, Serena relented.  "Alright then.  I guess OJ will have to do."

"I'll go fetch you some and let you two visit and gab about me while I’m gone.  I'll be back in a bit.  Can I get you anything, Alex?"

Alex laughed.  "I'm fine.  Thanks."

Alex sat down in the vacant chair after Pearce had left.  "So... how are you...really?"

"I'm...okay or at least getting there.  Having Pearce here helps." 

"I spoke to your mother.  She's really relieved.  I could tell that she's in full protective mode." 

Serena smiled.  "Yeah.  I hate to admit it, but having them here has made things a little easier to handle....no matter how crazy they are.  I just feel bad about ruining Christmas for everyone."

"You're not ruining anything, Rena.  They love you.  We all do." Alex reached out and took her hand.

"I know.   I was actually looking forward to spending the holidays with my family, just not like this."

"Speaking of family...how was the first meeting?  Did Pearce pass the Southerlyn test?"

Serena nodded with a big smile.  "With flying colors.  Mom thinks that she's just a sweetheart and fawns over everything she says.  The boys, well, I'm sure you can guess what they think of her."

Alex laughed.  "They all have the hots for her, don't they?"

"You know it.  Luke and Stephen keep asking her if she has a twin sister somewhere.  Serena cringed.  "They are so embarrassing."

"Wait.  Aren't Luke and Stephen both married?"

"Yes, but Luke is getting a divorce and will soon be back on the prowl.  He keeps telling me that he's going to give me a run for my money with her if I don't hurry up and get back on my feet.  And as far as Stephen is concerned, when has being married ever mattered?"

"That's true.  I remember the first time you introduced me to him.  He was convinced that he could persuade me to be straight after one kiss from him."

They both laughed at the memory. 

"I really wasn't worried though.  I hate that they had to meet this way, but.... I knew that they'd all love her just as much as I do."

"I don't think that's possible, Serena."

Serena blushed.  "No, I guess it isn't."    
  
There was a long silence between them.    
  
"They took my statement yesterday."  Serena said finally breaking the silence.   
  
"Olivia told me.  Are you okay?"

Serena nodded.   "It's just kind of hard to talk about it, you know?  It was frightening to realize how close he came to...."  Serena's eyes became glassy with tears.

Alex squeezed Serena's hand.  "I know sweetie."  Alex paused unsure how to approach the subject.  "Serena... I'm not sure that I should be the person to tell you this....but with Pearce's involvement in all this, there are things that might come out that...that might be a little difficult for you to hear."

"I already know, Alex."  Serena said catching Alex's eyes.  Alex narrowed her eyes making the connection.    
  
"You know?  But Pearce said..."  
  
"I know that Peter Webster did more than just harass and stalk Pearce all those years ago."  Her voice became dangerously low.  "He practically taunted me with it.  He enjoyed telling me."

"I'm sorry."

Serena shrugged her shoulders and took a deep breath.  "I always suspected that there was more....a part of her that I couldn't reach."  She gave Alex a pointed look.   "Whatever those details are; I will hear in them in entirety only from her....when she's ready to tell me....and no one else."

Alex nodded.  "I understand."

"So...what  _is_  his status?" Serena asked quickly switching back into ADA mode.  She couldn't deal with the emotional right now because she couldn't control it.  What she could control was what she did best; work.  
  
"That's part of the reason I'm here.  We got the call early this morning.  Peter Webster died of complications from the gunshot wounds."

Serena was deathly still.  There was a long silence.  "Does Pearce know?"

"I think Liv is telling her now.  She was waiting for her outside."

"He was really going to kill me wasn't he?"  It was more of a statement rather than a question.

Alex shrugged her shoulders unsure of what to say to her friend.  "In his warped mind, you were the only thing standing between his happiness with Pearce."

Suddenly, the pain in Serena’s head was back.  She laid her head back and closed her eyes.  "Would it be wrong to say that I'm glad that he's dead?"

"No."

"Good, because I am.  Maybe knowing that he's dead will help me sleep at night, but I seriously doubt it."  

Serena took another deep breath and let it out.  "Every time I close my eyes, I hear his voice, Alex.  I know that I'm safe, but it's like he's still in my head.  I can almost feel him on me.  Pearce had to hold me all night.  I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have her with me right now."

"And there is nowhere else in the world that she'd be.  She loves you so much, Rena.  I think she's a keeper."

Serena opened one eye and peered up at Alex.  "Wow."  She sat up and looked at her friend.  Alex just laughed.  "The official Alexandra Cabot seal of approval?"

Alex rolled her eyes.  "Yes, the official seal.”  She paused for a long moment before she continued.  “You didn’t see her while you were missing. She was…devastated. So… yeah she gets my approval.  I'm really glad that you have someone that loves you that much… and I’m still totally taking credit for it.”

This time it was Serena that rolled her eyes. “Of course you would.”

Alex squeezed Serena’s hand as they shared a laugh.

“I’m glad you’re okay, my friend.”

“Me too, Alex, me too.”

 

Pearce was on her way back to Serena's room when she rounded the corner and saw Olivia leaning by the door waiting.

"Hey there, Detective.  You back to see the patient again as well?"

"Umm...yeah, but I was actually looking for you first."  

"Oh, well you're in luck because here I am." Pearce smiled.

Olivia's smile faltered as she shoved her hands into her pockets.  For the first time in days, Pearce looked happy.  She almost hated tainting the moment.

Pearce had been friends with Olivia long enough to know when she was a little unnerved by something.  

"What is it, Olivia?"  Pearce asked turning serious.

"I um... Alex and I got some news.  I thought you'd like to know that Peter Webster is dead."

Pearce clenched her jaw.  "When?"

"Early this morning.  They said that he had severe internal bleeding and other complications."

Pearce looked Olivia straight in the eyes and never flinched.  "You'll have to forgive me if I don't shed a tear."

Olivia had never seen the usually compassionate doctor appear so cold and detached.  Olivia pursed her lips together and took a step forward.  "You gonna be okay, Doc?"

"The man who raped me, nearly raped Serena, and made both our lives a living hell is dead.  Of course I'm going to be fine."

"That's not what I meant, Pearce."  Olivia said softly.

"The only thing I'm worried about right now is Serena.  He put her through hell. And even though she’s acting as if she’s fine she has a long road ahead of her."

"I know that, but Serena is strong and she has you. You had no one and I know what Webster did to you too, Doc." 

Olivia had pulled the file from Pearce's rape assault and read through it.  She found herself having to push her anger away as she read it.   Serena wasn't the only one who had be put through hell.

Pearce leaned back against the wall and let out a long breath.  "I'm so glad that he’s dead, Olivia.  Does that make me a bad person?”

“Hell no.”  Olivia turned and placed a hand on the doctor’s arm.  “That bad person got what was coming to him, end of story.”

They stood there in silence for a long moment. “Listen Pearce, I know we haven’t known each other all that long.  But you’ve become one of my closest friends.  You’ve been there for me… a lot over the past year. I want you to know that you're not alone; that I'm here for you to…for whatever…whenever."

“Thank you.”  Pearce paused.  "Now that he's dead.... will any of... this... be made public?"

Olivia knew what Pearce was asking.  No one wanted the painful details of their lives to be laid out for the world to see.  "No.  Alex is going to try to make sure that this is dealt with discretely as possible.  It’s your story to share… no one else’s."

"Good.  I just want to be able to put this behind me and move on.  I want that for Serena too."

"You think you're going to be able to do that... now that all these memories have been stirred up?"  Olivia asked in earnest.

Pearce paused and bit her lip.  "You know...what Peter did to me...it changed me, Olivia.  It changed the way I lived my life.  I used to be spontaneous and carefree.  He took that from me.  It changed the way I interacted with people.  It’s nearly destroyed what little relationship I have with my own father because it felt like he never believed me.  That monster took my life away and I became someone else.  The only thing good that was left in my life was Kate and when she died...things just went to bloody hell."

She looked up and met Olivia's concerned eyes.  "A part of me felt like I'd never feel like myself again; that the old Pearce didn't exist anymore.  But...when I met you...something in me started to stir."

Olivia looked surprised and Pearce chuckled.  "Don't worry, Olivia.  I'm not hitting on you.   I'm just saying that I hadn't felt even a passing attraction to another woman until I met you that night in the ER.  I don’t know if it was that enough time had passed since I’d lost Kate or… I was just lonely.  The point is I wasn’t numb anymore.  I felt something. I was excited about the possibility of living again.  Then..."  She smiled and shook her head.  "....our date turned out to be the biggest dud of the century.”

“Hey! I was not that bad of a date.”

“No, you weren’t.  It would have been great if you were actually on the date with me instead of the pretty blonde across the room.”

Pearce laughed when Olivia had the good grace to blush in embarrassment.

“But something great happened on our pitiful little date."

"You met Serena that night."  Olivia supplied.

Pearce nodded.  "While you and Alex were off playing star-crossed lovers and arguing like two jealous teenagers, I was left alone to engage in conversation with another beautiful ADA.  She started to talk and I became intrigued with every word.  The more I was around her the more I felt like the old me.  And now... I think I've finally found myself again and it’s because of that wonderful woman in there.  So to answer your question...yeah.  I'm going to be okay.  And it's not because Peter Webster is dead.  It's because I have her."

Olivia smiled and squeezed her hand.  "Good for you, Doc."

"Come on.  I owe someone an orange juice and she does not like to be kept waiting."

"You know, sometimes I think that those two were separated at birth.  Alex is the same way."

Pearce laughed.  "Please don't let that be true!  I think I've held my own with the Southerlyn brood so far, but I don't stand a chance with Alex.  I have to tell you, she's a little scary, Olivia."

"You don't have to tell me.  Why do you think I carry a gun?"


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30** ****  
  
  
The next couple of days went by with little fanfare.  Serena was on the mend and things seemed to be getting back to normal.  Serena certainly was.  When she found out that Alex and Olivia were considering canceling their trip up to the Cabot estate for Christmas, she demanded they pack up and go.  She was already feeling guilty about her own family's plans being turned upside down, she didn't need her friends adding to her guilt.  So with a little urging in her own way, Serena was able to get Alex and Olivia to relent.  They packed up and headed up to spend Christmas with the Cabots.

This trip would be one that Olivia would remember for a long time.  Alex had suddenly turned into a nervous wreck.  First, she couldn't find her favorite boots.  Then she swore that nothing fit right.  Olivia had to stop by three stores before they left the city so Alex could buy them both new outfits.  Seeing the usually cool and collected Alex Cabot in such a state made Olivia uneasy too.  By the time they arrived at the Cabot estate, they were both a bundle of nerves.

"Alex, I think we should probably get out of the car now."

"Why?"

"Because we're parked in the driveway...."  She leaned over slightly and peered out of the foggy window.  "...and people are staring at us."

Alex blinked and looked out the windshield.  Yes, there was a small crowd gathering at the front entrance pointing in their direction.  She recognized them all and groaned. 

"Oh God, I can't believe they all picked _this_ Christmas to show up."

Olivia turned in her seat and looked Alex in the eyes.  "What's going on with you?  It was your idea for me to come up here with you.  A few of weeks ago, you were all ecstatic about this trip, going on and on about how you wanted to show me off.  Now, you're sitting here about to have a panic attack.  What the hell, Alex!  Are you ashamed of me or something?  Because if you are, just say so and...."

Alex shook her head.  "No!  How could you even think that?"

Olivia threw up her hands and rolled her eyes.  "Gee, I don't know maybe because we're hiding out in the car, freezing our asses off instead of going inside with the rest of your family."

"I am not ashamed of you."  Alex held Olivia's face in her hands and kissed her.  "I'm so proud to be with you.  You have no idea how much."

"Then what is this about?"

Alex ducked her head.  "I don't want you to be ashamed of me."

"What?"  Olivia was thoroughly confused.  She shook her head.  "Why would I ever be ashamed of you?  Alex, take a look around this place.  It took us five minutes just to make it up the freaking driveway.  This house looks like a museum.  Don't even get me started on the size of that lake we passed back there.  What on earth could you possibly be ashamed of?"

"I don't want you to think that this...." She gestured around them.  "...is all that I am.  I don't want you to think that I'm shallow and pretentious because of where I come from.  It’s one thing to hear stories and rumors.  It’s another thing to actually see it."

Olivia softened her gaze and smiled.  "Honey, don't you think I know the real you by now?  You're the woman I share my life with. That's the Alex that I know and love.  That's the only Alex that I care about."

"So.... you're not going to leave if my family starts driving you completely nuts?"  Alex asked sheepishly.

Olivia laughed.  "You drive me completely nuts and I haven't left you yet, have I?"

Alex slapped her arm and pretended to pout, but her laughter gave her away.  "Liv, some of my family can be…"

"Baby, I know you come from quite an intimidating background.  And yes, this is all a little much to take in... especially for someone like me.  But this is merely a small part of what makes you who you are.  Did you honestly think that I didn't know how posh you were when we got together?"

"I am not posh!" Alex sputtered.

Olivia raised a challenging brow.

"I'm not."  She said almost arrogantly.  "I'm...privileged.  There's a huge difference."

"Right."  Olivia smirked and nodded.  "Now if you're done having a meltdown, can we please go inside?  I can't feel my ass and I suddenly have the urge to be subtly insulted by your mother.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

"Olivia, you promised to play nice."  Alex warned.

"And I will... as long as she plays nice too."

"Okay.  But...."  Alex placed her hand on Olivia's arm as she was about to open the door.  Olivia turned and looked at her.  "I don't want you to take anything on my account, Olivia.  I mean it.  If anyone upsets you, I want to know about it.  You're my family now and no one hurts my family...not even my own mother."

Olivia felt a rush of emotions well up inside her.  She leaned in and gave Alex a soft kiss on the lips.  "I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, Miss Cabot."

"I mean it."

"I know you do.... and you're my family too.  You ready to face the music, Counselor?"

Alex smiled nervously.  "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Come on.  Let's go meet the Cabots."   



	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31** ****  
  
"Serena, I really don't like the idea of leaving you."

"I know that, Mom but the doctors have already said that I'll be in here for at least a couple more days or until I'm a little stronger.  Unfortunately, my girlfriend is one of those doctors and she's not easy to persuade when she's in  _'Super Doc'_  mode."

This made Diane smile.  She liked the idea that there was someone able to keep her head strong daughter in line.  Pearce seemed to be her daughter's one weakness.

"I won't be going anywhere anytime soon and I don't want you guys to miss Christmas on my account."  
  
"You should have your family here with you for Christmas.  If you're here, we should be here."

"Luke and Jacob have their own families to think about.  I don't want to be the reason they aren't with their kids for Christmas."

"Well, I'll just send the boys back and I'll stay."  Diane argued.

Serena shook her head.  "No.  You know Christmas wouldn't be the same if you're not there.  The kids would miss their grandmother."

"Serena..."

Serena sighed in exasperation.  "Mom please..."  She reached over and took her mother's hand.  "I'll be fine.  I won't be alone.  Pearce is going to be here with me and you know she'll take good care of me."

"I know she will, but I was looking forward to spending some time with my only daughter. It's been much too long since you visited."

Serena suddenly felt the guilt of having made work such a priority in the past.  "I know Mom and I'm sorry.  I'll come out for a visit as soon as the doctors give me the okay."

Diane looked a little skeptical.  "I've heard that before."

"I'm for real this time, Mom.  I promise.  I'm sure that my boss is going to put me on leave anyway which means I'll have the free time.  I might even be able to persuade Pearce to take a few days and come out with me."

Diane smirked.  "That's not fair.  You know I like her."

Serena smiled.  "So am I off the hook?  Will you go back with the boys?"

Diane sighed heavily and shook her head.  "I don't know why I even try to argue with a woman who does it for a living.  Yes, I'll go but only if you promise to do as Pearce says while I'm gone.  I know you.  Don't overdo it."

Serena fought the urge to roll her eyes.  "Yes, ma'am.  I promise.  You can even call every other hour and get check up on me if you want."

"You've got yourself a deal.  I guess I should go back to the hotel and pack then.  We'll stop by before we head to the airport."

"Okay."  Serena noticed the tears welling in her mother's eyes.  She knew that this entire ordeal had taken a toll on her mother and she felt bad about it.  She tugged on Diane's arm and pulled her into a tight hug.  "I love you, Mom.  You know that right?"

Diane nodded.  "I love you too."  She dabbed the wetness from her eyes and took a deep breath.  "I had better get moving.  I left Pearce down there in the cafeteria with your brothers.  The poor thing is probably one step away from insanity by now."

Serena laughed. "Tell them to stay away from my girl or I'll kick their behinds."

Serena could hear her mother's laughter well after she had left the room.  Suddenly alone in the silence of the room, she laid her head back against the pillows and closed her eyes trying not to think about the disappointment she felt about her current situation _._ She hated that she wouldn't be with her family, but there was nothing she could do about it now.  _Well, at least I'll have Pearce._ __  
  
She was about to nod off to sleep when the soft tapping at the door pulled her back to consciousness.  It slowly opened and all she saw was a large bouquet of lilies.  The beautiful sight made her smile.

"You're going to spoil me rotten, you know."

"I never thought spoiling you would be a bad thing.  But then again, I got a lot wrong where you were concerned, didn't I?"

Serena's entire body went completely still.  She knew that voice.  She'd recognize it anywhere.  She held her breath as the lilies were lowered and a face emerged.

"Hello Serena."

"Abbie."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**  
  
They had only been there for a few hours, but it felt like an eternity to Olivia.  She had been politely interrogated by nearly every one of Alex's relatives.  They wanted to know what she did, how dangerous her job was, how she met Alex, what her relationship with Alex was.  It was like being at a press conference.  Although she had been worried about the reception she’d receive, it hadn’t been all that bad.  There were a few relatives who were obviously unimpressed with her.  Luckily, Alex set the tone of the evening by making it very clear that she didn’t give two cents about their opinions.  The looks on their snobbish faces made Olivia smile. 

 

Unfortunately she and Alex had been separated.  No matter how hard they tried to get back to one another, they would be pulled off in an opposite direction by someone else.  
  
A short while later, Olivia found herself sequestered by a group of the younger cousins and forced to play pirates.  About a half hour had passed before Alex noticed that Olivia was missing from the fold.  Alex went looking for her and found Olivia in the playroom with the kids climbing on her back.  The sight of Olivia being so carefree struck a chord inside Alex.  Olivia finally looked up and saw Alex watching them from the doorway.  
  
"Okay guys, this pirate needs to take a break and talk to Cousin Alex."  
  
"Aww... but we just got started."  They all started to whine.  
  
"Yeah.  We never got to play cops and robbers either."  The youngest protested.  
  
Alex laughed at how easily Olivia had won them over.  "What if Olivia promises to play with you again later?  Would that be acceptable?"  
  
Alex's youngest cousin, Freddie, appeared to be considering the suggestion.  He looked up at Olivia with those infamous blue eyes.  "You promise?"  
  
Olivia knelt down and smiled at him.  "I promise and a good cop never breaks a promise."  
  
"Okay.  You can go with Cousin Alex then."  He said rolling his eyes unhappily.  Olivia couldn't help but notice how much the little boy reminded her of Alex when she was being talked into getting a warrant.  
  
"Thank you, Freddie.  I'll see you later."  
  
Olivia got to her feet and straightened her clothes.  Alex helped her fix her collar.  "I leave you alone for a few minutes and you're off playing pirate.  What am I going to do with you, Detective?"  
  
Olivia grinned.  "I have a few ideas, but there are small children present so...."  
  
Alex took her by the hand and led her down the hall.  Once out of sight, Alex pushed her up against the wall and kissed her hard on the mouth.  Finally, they came up for air.  
  
"Wow.  What was that for?"  
  
"Nothing.  I just needed to do that."  
  
"No complaints from me, Counselor."  
  
"I'm sorry that everyone keeps grilling you.   I guess it's fairly obvious that you're the first person I've brought home in a very long time."  
  
Olivia nodded.  "Yeah.  I kinda got that impression.  But it's cool.  They're all really.... interesting, especially your grandmother."  
  
Olivia had the pleasure of meeting Alex's notorious grandmother, Martha, shortly after they arrived.  Olivia found her to be quite the character.  While the others were busy talking, Martha had pulled Olivia off to another room and had the detective make her a cocktail.  It wasn't even noon yet.  Out of everyone she'd met, Olivia had enjoyed the elderly woman's company the most.  In spite of all the stories she had heard, Martha Cabot was probably the most down to earth member of the Cabot family that she'd met so far.  And to make things even more interesting, Martha seemed to be quite aware of Alex's sexuality.  This was going to be news to Alex.  According to her girlfriend, Martha didn't have the slightest clue and would be devastated to find out the truth.  Alex was planning on breaking the news to her gently while they were there.  Olivia nearly spit out her tea when Martha informed her that she knew that Alex shopped in the 'S _ofter Side of Sears'_.    
  
"As a matter of fact, there's something that I found out about her that you might find interesting as well."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, you know how you said that she didn't know...."  
  
"Alexandra.... Olivia!  There you two are.  Everyone is looking for you.  Your Uncle Bill just arrived.  Your mother wants you to come say hello."  
  
Before either of them could protest, one of Alex's aunts was ushering them back down the hall.  Alex caught Olivia's eye and mouthed  _I'm sorry_  in her direction.  Olivia simply smiled.

By mid-day, Olivia had spent time with nearly every member of her girlfriend's family; everyone except Alex's mother that is.  There weren't many people in the world that made Olivia Benson nervous, but Celine Cabot was one of the very few that did.  She'd skillfully managed to stay a comfortable distance from Celine for most of the day.  The size of the house had made this possible...until now.

"So I finally get to have a moment with the mysterious Detective Benson."  Celine said walking up behind Olivia.

Olivia froze.  Celine walked around the sofa and into view.  Olivia looked at her and noticed the similarities between her and Alex.  Celine was older, but still a very beautiful woman.  She had the same aristocratic bone structure and graceful carriage.  It was obvious that Alex had inherited her beauty from her mother.

"Mrs. Cabot."

Celine took a seat next to Olivia on the sofa.  Olivia immediately sat up straight.  She and Celine had met only once before and very briefly.  It was back when she and Alex had first started dating and even then the Cabot matriarch had made her opinion well known.  She was keenly protective of her daughter.

"Alexandra tells me that you're responsible for bringing Serena back home safely."

"The entire squad actually, not just me."

"Please don't call me ma'am.  I'm quite aware that I'm getting older.  I don't need to be reminded."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Cabot."

"You may call me Celine.  The only Mrs. Cabot in this house is my mother-in-law.  I believe that you two have met.  She can be quite a handful at times, wouldn't you agree?"  
  
Olivia didn't know how to answer.  The older woman laughed at her uneasiness.    
  
"You need not worry yourself too much, Olivia.   I'm not going to tell her.  I saw her earlier stealing you away."  She gave Olivia's knee a light pat.  "I'm guessing she had you make her a cocktail."  
  
"Uh... kind of... yes."  Olivia cringed hoping she had not done something terribly wrong already.  
  
"Don't worry.  She's been doing that for as long as I can remember.  I can't say that I blame her.  Sometimes a strong cocktail is the only way to survive these family functions."  She laughed at Olivia's shocked expression.  "You look surprised.”

Olivia nodded.  “I’m sorry.  I just didn’t expect you to say that.”

“If you plan to remain with Alexandra, you have much to learn, Detective.  Now if you'll come with me, I might just rescue you from the debate that you will undoubtedly be drawn into shortly.  Shall we?"  
  
Olivia looked over at the arguing family members then back at Celine.  She nervously stood and decided to go with Celine.  The last thing she wanted was to be alone with Alex's mother for too long, but being forced to give her opinion on yet another boring political topic didn't appeal much either.  She was also aware that Alex's mother probably wanted to give her _'the talk'_.  Following the older woman, they left the busy room of warring relatives behind and ended up in a dark room at the other end of the house.  
  
Celine switched on the lights and led them inside.  Olivia looked around the room.  She didn't know why she was still surprised at the beauty of this place.  The entire home was something out of a magazine.  This room looked like a library.  It had book shelves stocked with books from floor to ceiling.  
  
"This is one of Alexandra's little hideouts.  No one ever comes in here.  It's such a shame; no one reads books anymore.  Everything is on those dreadful computers and electronic devices.  Alexandra tells me that you enjoy reading.  Do you read often?"  
  
"As much as my time permits; although I haven't had very much free time lately."  
  
"I've always enjoyed reading as well.  I suppose that's why Alexandra developed a love for it.  She always gravitated to this room, even when she was a little girl.  She would sit in here for hours reading anything she could get her little hands on."  
  
"That sounds like Alex."  
  
Celine walked over to the cabinet and took out glasses and what looked to Olivia like a bottle of aged cognac.   
  
"Would you care for a drink, Olivia?"  
  
"No thank you."  
  
"Are you trying to make a good impression on me....because if you are you need not continue.  I've already made up my mind about you."  Celine said primly.  
  
Olivia raised a brow.  "Actually, I don't drink anymore."  She lowered her head slightly.  "I had a bit of a problem with it…in the past."  
  
"Good for you.  Would it bother you if I had one?"  Celine asked already pouring her own drink.  
  
"No."  Olivia smirked and continued to look around.  She suddenly stopped.  "If you don't mind me asking....was that a test just now?"  
  
Celine sipped her drink and sat down.  She watched Olivia move about, taking notice of how the detective moved as if she owned the room.  It intrigued her.  
  
"Would you be offended if I said yes?"  
  
"No, not at all.  I've come to expect that."  
  
Celine gave her a thin smile.  "Touché"  
  
Olivia noticed more photos of Alex scattered throughout; some of her when she was younger, others older.  She loved seeing this side of Alex.  One picture caught her eye.    
  
"I didn't know Alex was an ice skater."  
  
"Don't tell her that I told you this, but it's one of the rare things that she could not do well.  She kept at it for a while, but it was obvious that she'd never reach a serious competitive level.  Eventually, she moved on to something else, thank heavens.”

Olivia laughed softly. “I’m sure that must have driven her crazy.”

Celine nodded.  “You know her well.  I think she finally settled on horseback riding next.  That she excelled at."  
  
"She excels at most things that she does."  
  
The older woman eyed Olivia closely.  "You stopped drinking for her didn't you?"  She asked out of the blue.  
  
Olivia chuckled lightly at the woman's bluntness.  "Does it matter?"  
  
"To me, yes."  
  
Olivia thought for a moment.  "I'd like to think that I would have stopped for me, but...yes.  I think it did have more to do with Alex.  I know she had some.... bad experiences with alcohol."  
  
"You don't have to tread lightly around it, dear.  I am quite aware that my late husband was a recovering alcoholic.  I also never forgot what his drinking did to my daughter."  
  
"There are just some burdens a child shouldn't have to bear."  
  
Celine watched the younger woman closely.  "You seem to speak from experience."  
  
"It's one of the few things I wish Alex and I didn't have in common."  Olivia said softly.  
  
Celine paused, taking a sip of her drink.  "I always knew, you know."  
  
"Knew what?"  
  
"I always knew about Alexandra's.... preferences for the fairer sex.  She believes that I am disapproving of who she is.... but she's wrong."  
  
Olivia turned around and stared at her in confusion.  "If you don't mind me saying, Alex doesn't see it that way.  She thinks that you do disapprove.  She's under the impression that you will never accept who she really is or her relationship with me."  
  
Celine nodded.  "Yes, I'm sure she does, but that is only because she has not bothered to ask me my opinion.  My daughter thinks she knows everything and assumes too much.... so do you for that matter."  
  
Olivia's mind was spinning.  Celine Cabot could have been talking in riddles for all that Olivia knew.  She didn't know if she should be confused or worried.  Celine laughed again at the perplexed look on her face.  
  
"Do you mind the cold, Olivia?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Are you able to handle cold weather?"  
  
"I've been known to survive in it."  Olivia answered still thoroughly confused.  
  
"Good.  Come.... let's grab our coats and take a little stroll then.  There's something I'd like you to see."  



	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**  
  
"A...Abbie?"  
  
"I'm glad to see that I can still render you speechless, darling."  Abbie said coyly dripping of Southern charm.  
  
Serena swallowed hard and tried to regain some semblance of decorum.  She couldn't believe her eyes.  She always knew that she'd see Abbie again eventually.  She had even pictured it in her mind; what she'd say, what Abbie would look like, how she'd feel.  Yet, nothing seemed to prepare her for this very moment.  Here she was, the woman she'd craved and loved without abandon standing in front of her looking as beautiful as ever.  Serena felt those same old feelings, but she also felt the ache of betrayal return as the memory of how their fairytale had ended came rushing back.

"What are you doing here?"  Serena asked in an icy tone.

Abbie lowered her head slightly.  "I heard about what happened.  I just wanted to come by and see that you were alright." 

She took a few steps forward and held out the flowers to Serena.  "These are for you."

Serena eyed her uneasily.  Abbie sighed and rolled her eyes.  "There just flowers, Serena.  I was brought up with  _some_  manners you know."

"Thank you.  I love lilies."  
  
"I remember.  They're your favorite."  
  
Serena tensed as their fingers touched.  She jerked her hand back as if it were on fire.  Abbie let the flowers fall into her lap.    
  
"Well... as you can see I'm doing much better.  I should be getting out of here in a couple of days."  
  
"A couple of days?  That means you'll be here for Christmas?"  
  
"Unfortunately."  
  
"I'm sorry.  I know the holidays are a big deal for your family.  How are they by the way?"  
  
"Fine.  You just missed Mom.  She and the guys are down in the cafeteria getting some coffee."  
  
Abbie smirked.  "Well, I am certainly glad that I missed them.  I don't think I can handle being verbally castrated this early in the morning."  
  
Serena smiled in spite of herself.  Abbie sarcasm always cut right to the point.  
  
"Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit?"  
  
"Come on, Serena.  You and I both know that they hate me...."  She lowered her head and mumbled.  ".... and rightfully so."  
  
"They never hated you, Abbie.  They hated the fact that I got hurt because of something you did."  
  
An awkward silence fell between them.  Abbie shoved her hands into her coat pockets while Serena fidgeted with the edges of the sheet.  Serena finally broke the silence first.  
  
"So... how did you hear about what happened?  I highly doubt that I made important news in DC."  
  
Abbie shrugged her shoulders.  "I still have a few friends here.  They gave me a call...thought I'd want to know."

"And by friends, you mean female acquaintances, right?"  Serena said abruptly.

Abbie blinked.  "Damn, Serena.  When did you become so.... so...."

"Cynical?  Probably right after I found out you were fucking every woman in D.C."

The statement seemed to sting Abbie a little.  She couldn't hide the hurt on her face before Serena saw it.  Serena sighed heavily and instantly regretted the snide remark.

"I'm...sorry.  That was uncalled for.  I don't even know where it came from."

"I do...and it's okay.  I was expecting that."

Serena stared at her for a moment then decided to just lay it out there.  "Why are you really here, Abbie?"

"I already told you.  I just wanted to know if you were alright."

"And I'm sure you could have picked up the phone and called anyone from the DA's office or even Alex and gotten an update on my condition.  Why come all this way to see me?"

Abbie scoffed.  "Yeah right.  Alexandra Cabot wanted my head on a spike after we broke up.  The Devil Wears Prada was not just a movie.   It could be her personal motto."

Serena raised a brow and waited for a straight answer.

"Alright... Alright."  Abbie bit her lip and sighed.  "I came because...when I heard that you were hurt, it scared the hell out of me."

Serena could tell where this was going and she didn't like it.  "Abbie..."

"I just needed to see you for myself."

"Abbie, you shouldn't have come."

Abbie continued to interrupt her.  "I needed to talk to you.  I needed to tell you that I still… I still love you, Serena."

Serena’s eyes widened.  "W…What?"

"Alright, Ms. Southerlyn, that is the last time I'm going to be left alone with your brothers.  I think they just talked me into going to some kind of....."

Pearce stopped short when she realized that they were not alone.  She stood taller and put her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize you had company.”

She eyed the dark haired woman a few feet away.  Both women stared at one another for a moment.  Pearce glanced at Serena and took note of her nervous expression.  It was obvious to her that something was going on.  The tension in the room was palpable.

Serena looked back and forth between them nervously.  Never in a million years did she imagine Pearce and Abbie ever being in the same room.

"I’ll just come back later, give you a chance to finish up your visit."

"No.  Stay."

Serena held out her hand and waited for Pearce to come to her side.  Abbie stared at their hands together.  She clenched her jaw tightly before averting her eyes.

"Pearce, this is...Abbie Carmichael."

Serena could feel Pearce tense immediately.  "Abbie, this is Dr. Pearce Delong.... my girlfriend." 

Looking between them, she could instantly see their dislike for one another.  She could tell by Pearce's stiff posture that she was not happy at all.

Serena smiled nervously at Pearce.  "Um...Abbie was in the area and came by to see if I was alright."

Pearce and Abbie continued to stare one another down, openly sizing each other up.  Pearce was the first to break eye contact.  She looked at how Serena was fumbling with the edges of the bed sheet then back over at Abbie who looked as though she was going to be sick.  She let go of Serena's hand and took a step back.  In spite of the awkward situation, Pearce managed to extend her hand to Abbie.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Carmichael."

"You too, Doctor."

Serena took note of the cool formality between the two.  If looks could kill, both would have been dead by the daggers they were shooting with their eyes.  The air in the room seemed to disappear making it difficult to breathe.  As if it were a gift from the heavens, Pearce's pager went off cutting through the tension.  She moved her lab coat back and un-clipped it from her waist.

"I'm needed in the ER."  She gave Serena a tight smile.  "I'll come back and check on you later."

Serena nodded as Pearce leaned down to kiss her gently. As Pearce moved away, a small card fell from the bouquet of lilies on to the floor.  Pearce picked it up and handed it back to Serena, but not before she caught a glimpse of what it said.  She kept her expression neutral.

"I always wondered why you liked that movie so much."  She said softly never actually making eye contact before stepping away.  She tipped her head in Abbie's direction as she passed by. 

"Ms. Carmichael."

"Doctor."

Confused by what had happened, Serena flipped the card over and read it _.  "I dare you to love me_."    
  
She closed her eyes.  "Shit!  Dammit Abbie!"


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34** ****  
  
Serena glared at Abbie as she held up the card.  "Why would you write this?"

"She's a looker.  I'll give you that much."

"Don't.  Don't do that."  She hated when Abbie avoided her questions.

Abbie smirked.  "Although she did look a little upset just now."

"Just what are you trying to pull showing up like this?"

Abbie ignored the question again.  "Something about her seems rather familiar.  Tall, dark, dimples...remind you of anyone?"

"I don't know what you're implying, Abbie but..."

"I'm not implying anything.  I'm just pointing out that she looks a lot like.... I don't know.... maybe... me.  Is there a reason for that, Rena?"

"Don't call me that!"  Serena snapped. 

"You used to like it when I called you that."

"I liked a lot of things that weren't good for me." 

Abbie simply smiled at the insult which only made Serena angrier. 

"I don't know what you're trying to do, but you don't get to come in here and make assumptions about my life.  You aren't even a part of my life anymore, Abbie."

Abbie held up her hands.  She realized that Serena was growing more irritated by the minute and that was the last thing she wanted.    "I know I don't and....I hate that fact.  I hate that I had to hear that you were hurt from someone else.  I hate that I have no place in your life...or heart.  That's why I'm here.  I still love you, Serena and I know that somewhere deep down.... you still love me too."

Serena shook her head.  "No...No...No...No.  You don't love me."  
  
"Yes, I do.  Serena, I do love you.  I never stopped loving you."

Serena kept shaking her head trying not to listen.  "No!  You don't get to come back after all this time and... do this to me!"

"Serena, I know I screwed up.  I know that I hurt you, but...."

"But?  But?  There is no but!  You didn't just hurt me, Abbie.  You nearly destroyed me.  I walked around like a fucking zombie for months trying to figure out what I had done wrong.  I thought it was me... that I wasn't enough.  Even after I started to date again, it was still in my head.  I couldn't trust anybody.  I nearly lost Pearce because of it!"

Abbie cringed at the sound of the other woman's name.  "At least I never but you in danger.  I never got you physically hurt."

That was it.  Abbie saw the flash of anger in Serena's eyes and she instantly regretted the comment.

"Same old Abbie."

"I'm sorry, Serena.  I...."

"You say that you love me; that you never stopped loving me.  But where the hell were you before all of this happened?"   She waited for Abbie to answer and when she didn't, Serena continued.  "Pearce has been by my side...every day without fail."

"She should be.  She's the reason this happened to you."

"Oh, come off it, Abbie.  I know you, remember.  I know you've done your research.  You already know the whole deal and how Pearce was involved.  So don’t pretend otherwise."

"Yes, I've done my homework on your little doctor."

"Then you should know that what that psycho tried to do to me wasn't even close to what he did to her!  She's just as much a victim as me."

"Serena, a man kidnapped you to get to her.  Doesn't that worry you...even a little?"

Serena took a deep breath and slowly let it out.  "What happened to me was not her fault and I won't allow you or anyone else to blame her for it."

"She nearly gets you killed and you're willing to defend her without even listening to what I have to say; but I will always be unforgivable for my one mistake, one!? Is that how it is?"

Serena shook her head in disbelief.  "God...were you always this self-involved?  Everything isn't always about you, Abbie.  What I have with Pearce has nothing to do with you.  I'm not with her because you broke my heart or because I needed her to fix me.  I'm with her because she's done nothing but respect and care for me since the moment we met, which is a hell of a lot more than I got from you!"

"She could have a past, Serena."

"Could?"  She chuckled at the irony.  "Everyone has a past, Abbie.  I wonder how you'd feel if someone went digging into yours."

Abbie flinched. "That's not the point."

"Isn't it?  You walk in here with flowers and a witty quote from a movie and you want me to turn my life upside down for what could be?  After all this time, you think that telling me that you love me will make everything go away?  Well, it doesn't."

"Serena, I was just trying to..."

"I know what you're trying to do and I don't need it or want it.   I don't need your apologies or your regrets anymore.  I have my own regrets to deal with; one being letting her walk out of here just now.  Pearce is not perfect.  She never claimed to be...but I love her and she loves me.  She's who I've chosen to be with, so deal with it."

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't still love me.  You tell me that and I'll leave."

"Unbelievable!  You haven't heard a damn thing I've been saying, have you?  So much for the new and improved Abbie."  
  
Abbie took a tentative step forward and looked Serena in the eyes.  Her eyes were filled with tears.  "Serena... I am so sorry that I hurt you.  I've never regretted anything more in my life.  I want to fix the heart that I broke.  I want to make it right...if you'll let me."

Serena anger started to melt away when she saw the look in Abbie's eyes.  She knew Abbie better than most and she knew when the brunette was being sincere.

"Abbie, I know you're sorry.  I knew it back then, but I was too hurt to get past it."

Abbie opened her mouth to speak but Serena held up her hand and cut her off.

"And I know that if you could take it back.... you would, but you can't.  And blaming Pearce isn't going to change anything.  When we fell apart, I didn't think I'd ever be able to be happy again, but I am."  A smile tugged at her lips as she thought of Pearce.  "For the first time in a very long time, I really am happy."

Abbie clenched her jaw tightly and nodded.  "So...what?  That's it?  You won't even give us a chance?"

"We had our chance, Abbie and...  _you_  threw it away.  I loved you so much...more than I'd ever loved anyone.  You had me, heart and soul, but I wasn't enough for you.  I wasn't what you wanted."

"Yes, you were.  You were everything."  Abbie's voice broke slightly.  "I was an idiot.  I made a stupid mistake.... a mistake that I've regretted every single day since."

Serena shrugged her shoulders and blinked back her own tears.  "That's the thing about the choices we make; we sometimes live to regret them.  But... you made your choice and you have to live with it.  Now, I'm making my choice... and I choose her.  I'm sorry, but I've moved on and I think it's time that you did too."

Abbie looked down at the floor and willed herself not to let a tear fall.  Once composed, she finally looked up with a tight smile.  "I don't know if I can.  I've found that you're not so easy to get over, Southerlyn."

Serena smirked.  "What?  Don't tell me that the Carmichael southern charm hasn't worked for you down in D.C.   I'm having a hard time believing that you've gone to bed alone very often."

Abbie blushed and Serena chuckled.  "That's what I thought... same old Abbie."

"You are the only woman I've ever really loved."  Abbie looked her in the eyes.  Her voice was honest and sincere.  "If you don't believe anything else... you have to believe that."

Serena tilted her head and they held each other's gazes for a long time.  "I probably shouldn't...but I do.  I think a part of me will always love you too, but...."

"You're not in love with me anymore, are you?"

Serena shook her head.  "No, I'm not."

"You're in love with her."

"Very much so."

Abbie bit the inside of her jaw and groaned.  "I don't like her."

Serena genuinely laughed for the first time since Abbie had arrived.   "Well, by the looks of things before, I'm almost positive that the feeling will be mutual."

"Are you sure you can trust her?  How well do you even know this woman?"  Abbie asked grasping at straws.

Serena smiled.  "Everything I need to know about Pearce I can see in her eyes when she looks at me.  There are no secrets there."  
  
"I hope she knows how lucky she is."  Abbie said barely above a whisper.

"I'm the lucky one.  She's a good woman with a good heart.  She makes me happy."

Abbie took a step back and cleared her throat.    "In that case... I'm sorry if I caused any problems between you two."

"No, you're not."  Serena laughed.

Abbie couldn't hide the smirk on her face.  "Okay... maybe I'm not that sorry... but I would never want to do anything to hurt you...and she did look a little pissed when she left."

"It'll be okay.   She might be a little upset, but deep down she knows that I love her."

Abbie took a deep breath and held out her hand.  She waited for Serena to take it.  "I guess this is... goodbye then."

Serena shrugged her shoulders.  "I'm sure we're bound to run into each other from time to time."

"You know... we used to be such good friends... before.  Do you think...."

"I don't know...maybe in time."  
  
"Maybe.  Maybe is good."  She took a step closer to the bed.  "Take care of yourself, Counselor."  Abbie leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on Serena's temple.  She squeezed her hand before walking away.

Serena watched the door close behind her.  Alone in the room again, Serena looked down at the card still in her hand.  She ran her fingers over the cursive writing before tearing it up and tossing it in the trash.   _"Goodbye Abbie."_

 ****  
  



	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35** ****  
  
"Wow.  This place is beautiful.  Although I'm not really surprised, all the grounds here are beautiful."

"This is a very special place for me, Olivia.  This is where I began my life as Mrs. Alexander Cabot III."

Olivia raised a brow.  Celine led her over to a small bench overlooking the garden.  They sat down.

"When I met Alexandra's father, I was barely sixteen.  He was this tall dashing fellow from the famous Cabot family.  I was a nobody based on their standards.  My mother was a school teacher and my father was in the military.  He died when I was twelve.  But I had a decent upbringing.   However, I was by no means from a wealthy family."

Olivia's eyes widened as she was surprised for what seemed like the hundredth time.   "Really?"

"Marth Cabot always doted on her sons, Alexander and Fredrick.  She had them home schooled.  Alexander may have had a brilliant legal mind, but he was horrible in math and science.  Martha hired my mother to tutor him.  That's how we met.  When my mother was too busy, I would tutor him in her place."  She smiled fondly.  "I taught him about solving algebraic equations.  He taught me about matters of the heart."

"You two fell in love."  Olivia added intrigued by the story.

"Yes."

"Wow.  I always thought...."

"You assumed that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and that I would look down on you because you had not."

"Well.....yeah."

Celine chuckled.  "Some detective you are.  I earned a scholarship and worked my own way through college.   I have never forgotten my humble beginnings.  As a matter of fact, I am proud of my past."

"Alex never told me."

"Alexandra probably doesn't know.  You must understand that she is a Cabot by birth and was raised as such.  By the time she was born, my life had changed so drastically.  This...."  She gestured around her.  "....is all Alexandra has ever known."

She pointed to the small fountain that was a few feet away.  "Right over there is where Alexander proposed to me.  He stood in that exact spot and told me that he'd give it all up....walk away from it all to have a life with me.  He loved me that much.  His father even threatened to cut him off, said he was marrying beneath him. But Martha stood by her son's choice.  I'm sure I wasn't her first choice for him either, but she welcomed me with open arms because I made him happy.  Of course his father didn't accept me so easily.  He said that we were from two different worlds and that it would never work.  Sound familiar?"

Olivia smirked.  "Vaguely.  Why are you telling me all this?"

"Eventually Alexander gave his father an ultimatum.  It was either accept our relationship or lose his eldest son.  It was because of this that my husband and his father never spoke again until Mr. Cabot's death.  I know my daughter.  She is her father's daughter in every way.  I don't plan to make the same mistake with her that Mr. Cabot made with my husband."

"I.... I don't know what to say.  This is not what I was expecting."  
  
"You accuse me of assuming things about you, Detective.   Yet, you have no problem making assumptions about me."

Olivia nodded.  "I guess you have a point, but you haven’t exactly made it easy for me to think otherwise."

"If I have a problem with your relationship with my daughter, I assure you that it has nothing to do with your social standing or who your family is or isn't."

"Then why do you have a problem with me because it's obvious that you do?"

"I love my daughter and I want to see her happy.  As a mother, I have to be sure."  She looked Olivia in the eyes.  "You've been living with my daughter for over a year and I barely know you.  I'm a traditional woman, Detective Benson.  When I was your age, we asked the parents for their blessing before we did such things, or at the very least met the family properly."

Olivia lowered her head feeling the pressure of Celine's steel glare. "I…I guess I never really looked at it that way."

"It's not just you.  Alexandra is an adult.  She makes her own decisions.  I assumed that if she was serious about you that she would have brought you home properly."

Olivia scratched her head.  "So all of this has been about Alex not bringing me home…properly.”

“In a sense yes.  I didn’t know she was serious about you when we first met because she never told me. I honestly thought you were… a fling for lack of a better word.”

“And now?”

“Now… I see the way she looks at you.  She adores you… and that worries me.”

“Forgive me for being so blunt... but I get the feeling that there is something else you'd like to ask me.  So... why don't we go ahead and get that out of the way too so there are no more misunderstandings."

"You don't beat around the bush do you, Detective?  I like that."

"When it comes to Alex, I don't see the point of it."

"Very well... I would like to know what your intentions are involving my daughter.  If her father were here, he’d be having this talk with you but unfortunately he is no longer with us… so here we are.”

Olivia thought for a moment. She knew she had to get this right.

"Mrs. Cabot, I love your daughter.  I don’t really know how to convince you of that.  I know that there have probably been a lot of people who only wanted to be with Alex because of her last name or what she could give them.  I want things from her as well, but not what you think.  I want to be the person who owns your daughter's heart.  I know that might sound a little selfish and I suppose that it is.  But I want to be that someone that she knows that she can count on...knows that no matter what happens that I'll be there.  I want to be that lucky person who gets to love her for the rest of my life.  That's all I've ever wanted from Alex."

Celine sat back and clasped her hands together and sat them delicately in her lap.  She gave the younger woman her best glare, but Olivia never wavered. 

"Those are very eloquent words, Detective.  They sound wonderful, but how can I be sure that they are true?"

"Mrs. Cabot... I know I'm not the ideal person the world would see your daughter with.  I don't do tea parties or fancy charity events.  I don't really care for the opera.  I just go because Alex likes it.  I'm a cop.  I like to watch baseball and football, go to the local pub every now and then, and hang out with my friends.  That's who I am.  If I thought for one second that changing would make life easier for her, I would.  But then...I wouldn't be the person she fell in love with.  The reality is, Alex is one of the most amazing people I've ever met.  She's way out of my league and probably more than I deserve, but I love her and for some strange reason she loves me back...and that's enough for us."

Celine stared at Olivia for a moment before a slow smile emerged on the older woman’s face. "Well done, Detective.  Well done.”  She gave Olivia a gentle pat on the arm. “Now that that is out of the way, we can enjoy the next few days.”

Olivia sighed in relief which only made Celine chuckle.  “Would it be alright if I called you Olivia, Detective?”

“I’d like that… Celine.”

The two women smiled and looked at each other for first time with a sense of mutual respect and understanding between them.

"Liv...."  They both turned and saw Alex approaching.  "There you are.  I've been looking all over for you."  She finally set eyes on her mother and her smile faded.  "Mother...what are you doing here...alone.... with Olivia?"

Olivia and Celine looked at one another and smiled.  "Your mother was just giving me a tour of the grounds.  She was just telling me about the fountain."

Alex groaned.  "Mother, please tell me that you didn't bore Olivia with that story about you and Father."

"It wasn't boring."  Olivia glanced at Celine.  "I thought it was a beautiful story."

"Why, thank you, Olivia.  At least there is someone around here who appreciates a good romantic story."

"You're most welcome, Celine."

Alex looked back and forth between her mother and her girlfriend with confusion.  "Okay...what's up with you two?"

"Why does there have to be some great conspiracy?  Olivia and I simply went for a walk.  That's all."

"Right."  She narrowed her eyes at Celine.  "Mother, did you behave?"

This time, Olivia laughed.  "Alex, leave your mother alone.   She's been a wonderful hostess.  We had a great time...right Celine?"

"Right.  We must do this again, Olivia.  Next time I'll show you some of Alexandra's other hiding places."  
  
"I would love that."

"Alright, dear.  I will leave you now.  I think my daughter is a bit jealous and in need of your attention."  She winked at Olivia as she gave Alex a peck on the cheek.  She whispered softly to Alex.  "You needn't worry, darling.  She only has eyes for you."

Alex watched her mother leave then turned back to Olivia.  She was in awe.  "Okay.... who was that and what did you do with my mother?"

"I don't know what you mean?"

"That was not my mother.  That was.... I don't know what that was.  She called you dear."

Olivia laughed.  "You told me to be charming, so I was charming."

"Obviously.  My mother never smiles like that.  I thought her face was going to crack."  Alex eyed her suspiciously.  "And she was practically showering you with love."

Olivia tilted her head.  "Are you jealous, Alexandra?"

Alex bit her lip.  "Maybe."

Olivia pulled Alex close and wrapped her arms around her.  "As your mother said....you don't have to worry.  I only have eyes for you.  I'm all yours, Counselor."

Alex leaned in and kissed her soundly on the lips.  "You'd better be." 


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"Hey"

"Hey"

“I didn't wake you, did I?"

  
“No."  Serena switched the television off with the remote.  "Actually.... I've been fighting the pain killers in hopes that you'd come back by."

  
Pearce took a seat in the chair but made no attempt to move closer to the bed.  Serena noticed.

"Where have you been all morning, Pearce?"

"In the ER... I've have back to back procedures practically all morning."

"Oh."

"It's the holiday season.  Tis the season to be jolly and reckless.  It's almost as if people deliberately try to wreck their own lives."

Serena watched Pearce.  Her head was lowered and face drawn.  She just sat there in complete silence fidgeting with the drawstring on her scrub pants.

"You're awfully quiet, Doc."

"It's been a long week.  I guess it's finally catching up to me."

"That's funny.  You don't look so much tired as you do annoyed.  Are you sure this doesn't have anything to do with the guest I had earlier?  You're not worried about that, are you?"

"Should I be?"  Pearce said softly never making eye contact.

Serena sighed.  This was going to be harder than she thought.  "Pearce, talk to me."

Pearce stood and walked over to the window.  She stared out at the bustling traffic below.  Serena sat patiently waiting for her to speak.

She turned and faced Serena.  Her face was expressionless and open, but Serena could see something more in her eyes.  She saw fear.

"I've been in love before, Serena.  But.... I have never wanted someone to love me back as much as I've wanted you to and that scares the hell out of me."

"Pearce...."

"Do you know that before our first date, I stood in the middle of my closet for an hour trying to find the perfect thing to wear...because I wanted you to like it?  I prepared myself for every possible scenario because I wanted to impress you.   I even practiced how I'd say goodnight at the end.  I've never done that before.  I never had to.  And I thought I had gotten past all that, but I realized something about myself today.  I'm still walking on eggshells thinking you're going to come to your senses and realize that you don't really want to be with me.  It's so strange.  I've been terrified of you leaving me since the moment we met."

Serena's heart melted.  She reached out her hand for Pearce, but Pearce wouldn't come to her.

"I need you to just be honest with me.  Tell me if I was just some kind of replacement ...for her."

Serena's eyes widened with surprise.  Pearce started to pace back and forth.

"I mean... when you said that you loved me....I assumed that you meant that.  Have I been a complete fool all this time?"

Serena shook her head and smiled.  She'd seen many sides of Dr. Pearce Delong, but she'd never seen her like this.....vulnerable.  It was odd, but it was actually nice to see a weakness for a change.

"Come here."  She held out her hand to Pearce, but Pearce kept her distance.  "Pearce.... come here."  She said again with more authority.  A few moments passed before Pearce finally took her hand.  She pulled her in to sit next to her on the bed.

"You were never a replacement for Abbie or anyone else."  She said sincerely.  You couldn't be because I've never met anyone like you.  All the times I've said I love you, I meant it.... every single time.  I don't have enough room in my heart for anyone else.  I'm head over my Jimmy Choo's in love with you, Doc."

This brought a smile to Pearce's graceful features.  Serena was relieved to see it.  

"Really?"  Pearce looked up shyly. 

Serena looked her square in the eyes.  "I have never been more sure of anything in my life.  I love you and only you."  

Serena kissed her soundly on the lips before pulling her into a tight embrace.  "You never have to be unsure about my feelings for you. Now climb up here and hold me."

“Alright.”

Long after Serena had fallen asleep, Pearce was making plans in her head. An hour later, she managed to slip out of bed without waking the blonde.  With one last glance back, she slipped into the hallway to make a call.  She dialed a number and waited. 

"Hello grandmother, it's me.  Merry Christmas to you too.  Remember that favor I asked you about?"  She grinned.  "I'm willing to make a deal with you."  
  
A few hours later.....  
  
"Pearce this is absolutely ridiculous!"

Pearce winced as her girlfriend continued to gripe as she wheeled her back down the hallway towards her room.  She knew that Serena was in one of her moods.  It was one of those moods that if you valued your ego, you had better agree with everything she said and get the hell out of the way.

"I've had every type of x-ray and CAT scan known to man.  Why would they pull me out of my room and make me have yet another one?  I feel fine for Christ's sake!"

"You're right, sweetheart.  I don't know who made that error, but you can rest assured that I will look into it right away."

Serena continued to grumble under her breath and Pearce shook her head. She knew why Serena was in such a foul mood.  It had been a rough day for both of them, but especially Serena. 

First, it was Christmas Eve and she was stuck in a hospital.  Her plans of going home to spend the holiday with her family were busted after everything had happened.  It was even more difficult when her mother and brothers had to catch the first flight out early that morning in order to spend the holiday with their own families, leaving her alone.  She had taken some comfort that she'd be able to spend the day with Pearce.   However spending the day in a cold, sterile hospital was nothing like spending a romantic evening at home together.  Then to top it all off, there was the fact that Abbie had turned up out of the blue sending them both for a loop.  Yes, this was definitely a Christmas Eve that neither would forget for a long time.

Serena was pulled from her complaining when Pearce stopped pushing her and came to a halt.

"Why did you stop?  Don't tell me that I have to go back for more test?"

Pearce came around and knelt in front of her.  "No, darling.  No more test.  There's something I have to tell you."

"What is it now? Serena asked in frustration.

"I'm the reason you had to have those test."  Pearce said sheepishly.  "I had Nurse Cannon to arrange them for me."  She mentally prepared to be yelled at.

Serena took a deep breath and tried to keep her cool.  "Why would you do that, Pearce?"

"I arranged them because I needed to get you out of the room for a bit."

"I don't understand."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Close your eyes."

"Pearce...."

"Close... your...eyes."

Serena sighed and shook her head.  "Alright.  This should be interesting."

Pearce waited until Serena's eyes were closed.  She waved her hand in front of her to make sure.  She stood and opened the door to Serena's room then wheeled her inside.

"Okay.... you can open them now."  Pearce whispered softly in her ear.

Serena slowly opened her eyes.

 **"Merry Christmas, Serena!"**  
  
Serena's mouth dropped open as she looked around the room.  It was filled with her brothers, sister-in-laws, their children, and her mother.  The room had been decorated with white Christmas lights and there was a beautiful little tree set up in the corner complete with gifts underneath.  She couldn't keep the bright smile from erupting across her face.

"What are you guys doing here?  I thought you left."

"We were going to, but...."  Diane glanced at Pearce.  "...one of Santa's little helpers made last minute arrangements to bring the family here so we could be with you."

Serena followed her mother's gaze and landed on Pearce.  "You did this?  That's what you were doing all day, wasn't it?"

Pearce shrugged her shoulders feeling a little embarrassed by all the attention.  "You couldn't go home so.... I figured I'd bring home to you."

If it were even possible, Serena fell a little bit more in love with Pearce Delong in that moment.  After that morning's events, Pearce had every right to spend the day angry, but instead she had been making arrangements to bring Serena's family to town.

 _  
_ "Aunt Rena, we came on the big plane all by ourselves!"  Serena's nephew shouted with excitement.

Serena looked at her brother and his son.   Jacob smiled.  "What J.J. means is... your girlfriend here has access to a private jet. Imagine that."

Serena's eyes widened as she turned back to Pearce.  Again Pearce shrugged.  "I called in a little favor from my grandmother.  That's all."

"This isn't a little favor, Pearce.  This is....Wow!" Tears sprang to her eyes.  "You did all this....for me?"

Pearce knelt down before her.  "I love you.  I'd do anything for you..."   She smiled.  "....even promise to attend several of my grandmother's socials."

Serena cringed.  "You didn't?"

"I even promised to wear a dress and smile for photos."

Serena laughed.  "Oh dear God, you do love me."

"Madly."

Serena tugged her closer by her shirt.   "Wow! Are you two gonna kiss now?"  J.J. asked with a look of amazement on his face. 

Everyone turned to him and laughed.  Pearce dropped her head in Serena's lap and sighed.  Diane gave her a pat on the back as she passed by.  "Welcome to the family, dear."

For the next couple of hours, the Southerlyn clan exchanged gifts and enjoyed one another’s company.  Most of the time was spent grilling Pearce about her life and her intentions toward Serena.  Serena was pleased that Pearce didn't seem the slightest bit unnerved by it all.  She was her ever charming self and won the others over easily.  

As the time passed, all the excitement seemed to have worn Serena out.  Pearce and Diane saw her yawning a few times.  Everyone finally cleared out and took the festivities back to the hotel leaving Pearce and Serena alone.

"I still can't believe that you were able to pull this off without me knowing."  Serena said staring at the small blinking tree.

"It took a little scheming on my part, but I had a little help. My father and the nurses pitched in."

“Your father?”

Pearce nodded with a soft smile.  “Apparently, you’ve made quite the impression on him.  He… wants to have dinner… with us after the holidays, if you can believe it.”

Serena thought back on the conversation she’d shared with the man several days ago.  “Actually… I can.”

Serena leaned back in Pearce's arms and sighed peacefully.  "This was the best Christmas ever."

"Technically, it's not even Christmas yet."  Pearce said glancing at her watch.

"It doesn't matter.  It's still the best.  I had my family and you all in one room.  Your father is making an effort to spend time with us.  It couldn't possibly get much better than this."

"You sure about that?"

"Positive.  Why?  You worried about topping this next year, Doc?”

"Actually, I was hoping to try again this year."

Serena turned and looked up at Pearce strangely.  Pearce smiled and gently removed herself from the bed.  She went over to the tree and lifted the last box from underneath the tree.  Serena frowned.  She didn't remember seeing that box there before.

Pearce placed the box in her lap.  "I know that we said that we would wait to open our gifts tomorrow, but this is a gift that can't really wait until then."

Serena raised a brow.  "What did you do?  Pearce, you've already given me enough."

"Just open the bloody thing, will you."

Serena tore the paper way and lifted the lid.  She squealed when the head of the cutest little brown puppy popped his head up. 

"You got me a puppy!"

"You said you had one like him when you were little."

Serena was about to cry.  She lifted the puppy from the box and held him close.  "Pearce, he's so cute."

"I saw him in the window of the pet shop a couple of weeks ago.  I managed to talk the owner into holding on to him for me until today.  Do you like him?"

"Do I like him?"  She smiled when the puppy nuzzled her cheek.  "He's beautiful....but....there's a problem."

"What?"

"I can't keep him.  My building doesn't allow pets."

"I know..."  She looked Serena in the eyes.  "...but my building does."

Serena just stared at her.  Pearce took a deep breath.  "I was um...hoping that maybe.... you and the little guy here would like to come and stay with me."

"Stay with you?  Are we talking about until I'm better or...."

"I...um... I was thinking more along the lines of...forever...if you'd fancy that idea."  Pearce chewed her lip nervously.

"Pearce, are you asking me to move in with you?"

"Yes, I am. So what do you say?"

Serena smiled.  "Well, Marshall and I say yes then.  We’d love to."

Pearce frowned.  "Marshall?"

Serena looked down at the puppy and grinned.  “As in Thurgood Marshall.”

Pearce shook her head and laughed.  "He’s totally going to get his ass kicked at the dog park."  
  
“No he’s not!” Serena snuggled the puppy close.  “He’s going to be tough just like Thurgood Marshall.  Isn’t that right, Marshall?”

"Alright then, Marshall it is."

Pearce laughed.  "I can’t wait to tell my father that he has a grandson named Marshall.”

Serena smiled brighter than she had in her entire life. "Merry Christmas, Doc."  
  
Pearce leaned in and kissed her softly then rubbed the puppy's head.  "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

  



	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

"So... what did you and my mother talk about on your little walk?"

"Nothing much...just idle chat."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

Olivia grinned mischievously.  "I don't know what you're talking about, Alex."

"Fine.  Have your little secret.  See if I care."  Alex pouted as she flopped down on the king sized bed in their suite.

Olivia rolled her eyes and climbed on next to her.  "We talked about you, nosy pants."

Alex rolled over and propped herself up on her elbow.  "And?"

"And nothing.  We just talked and I think we've come to a new understanding.   Your mother is....actually nice."

"Now I know I'm in the twilight zone.  No one I've ever introduced to her has ever referred to her as nice.... Barracuda maybe, but not nice."

Olivia laughed.  "Your mother is really not that bad once you get to know her a little.  She's just protective of her little girl.  I would be too."

"So... today wasn't too awful for you?"

"Today turned out to be....pretty cool.  It was nice to be able to spend time with a real family."

"Even my family?"

"Yes, even the famous Cabot clan.  It's just... it was always just me and my mom...that is when she was sober enough to remember that it was Christmas."

Alex heart ached.  She brushed a lock of hair away from Olivia's eyes.  "Was it always so bad?"

Olivia looked up into deep blue eyes and shook her head.  "There were actually a few that were really great.  I remember being about eight, I guess.  She took me to the mall to see Santa even though she knew I didn't believe in him anymore.  But she told me to go up there and tell him the one thing that I wanted most and she promised me that she'd make sure that Santa brought me whatever it was....no matter what."

"What did you ask for?"

Olivia waited for a moment before meeting Alex's eyes.  "I asked him to make sure that my mother couldn't buy booze so we could have a great Christmas together."

Alex sighed.  "Oh sweetie."

"And she didn't.  She didn't have a single drop.  She cooked this amazing dinner and took pictures of me while I opened my gifts.  She even cried when she opened hers.  She said that my clay ash tray was the best gift she'd ever received.  That was by far the best Christmas I'd ever had....until now."

She pulled Alex close for a kiss.  Alex settled down and rested her head on her shoulder.  "What about you, Counselor?  What was the best Christmas you ever had?"

"This one."  Alex said as she buried her face into Olivia's neck.  "This one is the best by a long shot."

A few hours later, Alex lay on her back staring at the ceiling.   For some reason, sleep wouldn't come to her tonight.  Finally giving up on sleep, she gently removed herself from Olivia's arms replacing the empty space with a pillow.  Olivia mumbled softly in her sleep as she clutched the pillow to her.

"That should do until I get back."  She whispered as she placed a kiss on Olivia's temple.

She slipped on her robe and quickly made her way downstairs.  Alex walked aimlessly throughout the house.   She didn't know where she was going.  Somehow she found herself in the middle of her father's old study.  She walked around the room glancing at the numerous plaques and awards on the walls.  She ran her fingers over the large cherry oak desk before flopping down in the large leather chair.

"You remind me so much of your father sitting there."

Alex jumped.  "Mother...what are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing."  Celine walked in and strolled around the room.  "Couldn't sleep?"

"No.   I guess I'm still a bit wired from today."

"Yes.  Today was busy."  She picked up a photo of Alex with her father.  They were on a small sailboat.  The wind was blowing through their hair as the smiled and waved.  "I remember when this was taken.  Alexander was teaching you to sail."

"I was nine.  I wanted to be like Christopher Columbus."

"Yes, you were always the adventurous type.  Your father and I knew then that you were going to be a handful."

Alex turned her attention to the large portrait of her father hanging on the far wall.  "What do you think he would think of me...now?"

Celine followed her gaze to the portrait.  "He would have adored you...."  She looked back at Alex.  "...as he always did.  You were his pride and joy.  You know that."  
  
"No, I mean...what would he think of me...the real me and my relationship with Olivia?"

Celine went over to the sofa and sat down.  She called Alex over to sit next to her.  "Come sit with me, Alexandra."  
  
Alex obeyed and sat down.  Celine took her hand and thought carefully before she spoke.  "Sweetheart, I don't know if your father knew about any of that before he left us, but...I know that he would have loved you no matter what.  That was the kind of man that he was."

"You don't think he would have been disappointed?"

"I've made you feel that way, haven't I?"  Alex lowered her head.  Celine gently lifted her chin. "Your father would not have been disappointed in you.  He would be so incredibly proud of the woman you've become....just as I am."

"Even now...without the husband, 2.5 kids, and the house with a white picket fence."

Celine chuckled.  "You can still have the children and the house.  Though… the husband part is questionable.  I'm sure Olivia would take issue with being addressed that way."

They both laughed.  Celine squeezed Alex's hands.   "Alexandra, I've always been proud of you.  You're my daughter and I love you.  I was just afraid for you.  The world can be such a cruel place for those who dare to be different."

"I'm a big girl, Mother."

"You're still _my_ little girl."  She brushed her hand over Alex's hair as she did when she was a child.  "....but I can see that you're not so little anymore.  I know that you can take care of yourself.  You also have someone worthy looking after you now and....."  She smiled sadly.  "and... I think your father would have really liked Olivia."

Alex's eyes misted.  "You do?"

"Yes, I do.  And I think she'll make a wonderful addition to this family."  

They both tried to blink back the tears welling in their eyes.  Alex took a deep breath and met her mother's eyes.  "Mother, I'm glad to hear you say that because...I think you should know that.... I plan to ask Olivia to spend the rest of her life with me.  I want to make her my partner in every sense of the word... if she'll have me."

There was a long pause before Celine spoke.  Alex waited nervously.  
  
"Well.... the good detective seems to be the only person who is able to handle your grandmother.  We should do whatever we can to keep her around, shouldn't we?"  A slow smile crept over Celine's face.

Alex laughed out loud wiping her tears away.  Celine pulled her into a tight hug.  "I love you, Mother.  Thank you."

"And I love you.  Now come on.  Let's get you back to bed.  Apparently tomorrow is going to be a big day for you."

 


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

"Liv....Liv, wake up."

Olivia groaned and snuggled deeper into the covers.  Alex rolled her eyes and laughed.  "Liv, you have to get up."

"Why?"  Olivia's voice was muffled from underneath the thick comforter.

"Because it's Christmas."

"It will still be Christmas in two hours."

"Maybe, but in two hours you won't be able to join me in the shower before we go downstairs to open gifts."  Alex said with a familiar confident smirk.

Suddenly Olivia sat straight up in the bed.  She blinked and looked wildly around the room.  She grabbed Alex by the hand and pulled her out of bed.  "Where did you say the bathroom was again?"

 

\---------- Back in the city, Pearce blinked rapidly at the light creeping through the blinds.  She went to move and winced as her body reminded her why it wasn't a great idea to share a small hospital bed.   _"I am getting to old for this."_   She said to herself as she stretched, her bones popping and cracking rather loudly.  She instinctively reached out for Serena only to feel the cold sheet instead of a warm body.

"I'm over here."  Serena whispered from her position by the window. 

"What are you doing out of bed?"

"It's snowing again.  Come see."

Pearce slid down from the bed.  Serena sighed and leaned back as she felt Pearce's arms wrap around her from behind. 

"Wow.  I thought the weatherman said we wouldn't be getting more snow."  
  
"Isn't it beautiful?  Everything is so white.....clean."

Pearce chuckled and rested her chin on Serena's shoulder.  "Until the snow machines hit the streets. Then it's going to be a bloody mess."

"You're such a pragmatist."

"But you love me anyway."

"That I do."  Serena turned in Pearce's arms and kissed her softly on the lips.  "I have something for you.  I hope you like it."  She said softly holding a box out to Pearce.

Pearce took a step back and took the gift.  "It's from you.  I already love it."

She took Serena by the hand and led them back to the bed.  Once Serena was settled, she sat down next to her and opened the gift.

"Oh my.... Serena, it's...." 

Pearce lift a shiny new stethoscope from underneath the colorful tissue paper.  It was black with a gold base. 

"It comes with a case too."

Pearce reached inside and pulled out a leather satchel.  On the outside were her initials engraved in gold.  She ran her fingertips over the letters.  "Serena, I... I don't know what to say."

"I had it made especially for you.  It has an inscription on the base."  

Pearce turned it over and read it silently.  

 _"I love you with every beat of my heart. -S"_ __  
  
"So...do you like it?"  Serena asked nervously.  
  
Pearce looked up and smiled.  "This is so lovely, Thank you."  
  
"I figured... it was something you could use and it could also remind you of me while you're working."  
  
"I don't need this to remind me of you."  She shook her head and looked up bashfully.  "No one has ever given me such a thoughtful gift.  This is great.  Thank you."

Serena let out a sigh of relief and smiled broadly.  "You're welcome.  Here...let's test it out." 

She placed the ends gently in Pearce's ears and brought the base over her own chest.  "What do you think?  How does everything sound in there, Doc?"

The sound of Serena's heartbeat was like music to her hears.  A slow smile crept across her face.  "Absolutely perfect....just as I expected."

Serena leaned in with the intent to peck Pearce on the lips.  However, the simple peck quickly turned into something much more sensual.  It wasn't long before Pearce had to pull away in need of oxygen.

"If you keep kissing me like that, I'm going to have a hard time following your doctor's orders."

Serena smirked.  "I thought  _you_  were my doctor?"  
  
"Oh I am.... I'm definitely yours."

Serena leaned in and kissed her again.  She pulled back and rested her forehead against Pearce's.  "How lucky does that make me?"

"Luck has nothing to do with us, Luv.  We were just meant to be."

  
\----------An hour later, Olivia and Alex made their way down the winding staircase and found the other family members gathered around the tree.  Olivia's eyes danced around the room.  A huge breakfast spread had been prepared.  A few of the children were running around playing with new toys.  People were laughing and she could hear the faint sound of Christmas music playing in the background.  She silently wondered why anyone would want to avoid this.

The two matriarchs, Celine and Martha, were already seated on the sofa watching the festivities.  The two older women looked up and met them both with brilliant smiles.

"Merry Christmas, Mother.... Grandmother."  Alex kissed them both on the cheek before taking a seat.  Olivia did the same.

"Merry Christmas, darlings.  I trust you two slept well."  Celine looked Alex in the eyes then shifted to Olivia's.  "You look well…rested."

Olivia blushed slightly as she handed Alex a glass of juice.    
  
Martha watched them then chuckled.  "Yes, they do look quite well, but I don't believe they did much resting nor sleeping."

Alex nearly choked on her orange juice spewing it across the room.  Olivia quickly handed her a napkin and rubbed her back.  "You okay?"

Alex could only nod as she looked at her grandmother with shock.  This only made Martha laugh harder.  Olivia looked at Alex sheepishly and whispered into her ear.  "Uh... did I forget to mention that your grandmother knows...everything?"

As if possible, Alex's eyes grew wider.  The shocked looked soon turned to a penetrating glare.  "We are  _so_ going to talk about this later."

Olivia swallowed hard and tried to look like she wasn't scared to death which only seemed to entertain the older Cabot women more.  

 _"These women are going to be the death of me."_ Olivia thought to herself.  
  
The remainder of the morning passed with ease as everyone exchanged gifts and made small talk.  Olivia surprised Alex with season tickets to the Met with the promise that she'd even dress up and go with her.  When Alex noticed where the seats were, her jaw dropped.

"Liv.... these seats.... this must have cost you...."

Olivia stopped her and shrugged her shoulders.  "Your vice is shopping.  My only vice is spoiling you.  Let me enjoy this, okay?"

Alex smiled sweetly.   _"Okay, so she's made up for not telling me about Grandmother."_ __  
  
"Okay...thank you.  I love it.  Now, you have to open yours."  She bit her lip as she brought a small box from behind her back.  "I guess we were thinking alike this year."

Olivia opened the box.  Her eyes lit up like a child's.  "Oh my God! You got me season tickets to the Yankees?"

It was Alex's turn to shrug.  "We'll just have to take turns going to the opera and baseball games."

"I love the tickets babe and I love you."

"I love you too."

It was about an hour before Alex noticed that Olivia was nowhere to be found.  She figured Olivia was in the playroom with the kids, but she wasn't.  After some searching, Alex finally found her down the hall where Martha had taken her hostage...yet again.  She shook her head and smiled as she went over to the bar.  

_"She's managed to charm my entire family."_

"Grandmother, would you mind if I borrowed Olivia for a few minutes?"

"Only if you will be a dear and promise to bring her back.  Your young woman is going to teach me how to play poker later."

"Poker?" Alex asked curiously.

"Yes, dear.  Haven't you heard?  It's all the rage down at the Country Club.  I can't wait to tell the girls from my bridge club that I've learned to play Texas Hold'em."

Alex raised a brow at Olivia.  "You're going to teach my Grandmother to play Texas Hold'em?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders and gave Alex her best  _I'm innocent_ look.  "She already knows how to play Five-Card Stud."

Alex shook her head in disbelief.  "Of course she does."  She held out her hand and pulled Olivia up.  "I'll be sure to bring her back soon, Grandmother."

Martha caught Alex by the wrist and gestured for her to come closer.  Alex bent down to hear her better. 

"It's high time you found someone suitable for you to settle down with.  Do try to hold on to her, darling."

Alex felt a warm feeling rise in her chest.  She smiled and gave Martha a kiss on the cheek.  "I'll do my level best, Grandmother."

A few minutes later, Alex and Olivia found themselves outside alone.  Olivia pulled her coat tighter around herself and blew into her hands.    
  
"Alex, what is it with you Cabot women being outside in the cold?  Couldn't you just tell me what you needed to tell me inside... where it's warm?  I'm freezing my a...."

Alex wrapped her arms tightly around the detective's neck cutting off Olivia's complaining with a deep kiss.   It took Olivia a few moments to focus again.  Alex tightened the scarf around the brunette's neck. 

"Now that I have your attention, do you know where we are?"

Olivia glanced around.  "Yeah.  Your mother brought me out here yesterday... where again I was freezing my ass off."      
  
"Then you remember the story about my mother and father?"

"Yes"

Alex took an uneasy breath.  "Liv, that's why I brought you out here.  There is something else that I want to give you, but it had to be right here... in this spot."

"Alex, the tickets were enough... incredible actually.  I can't wait to tell Elliot.  He is going to be so jealous!"

Alex smiled at her child-like enthusiasm.  She loved seeing Olivia so lighthearted and happy.  She caressed her cheek.  "What I want to give you.... really isn't a Christmas gift."

Olivia simply stared at her, eyes wide with anticipation.  Alex bit her lip nervously.  "I brought you out here because I have to make you an offer."

"An offer?"  Olivia asked still thoroughly confused.

"Olivia, do you remember our first date.... our first real date?"

Olivia smiled.  "Of course I remember.  I took you to that fancy little bistro uptown."

"That's right.  That night I asked you something.  I asked you how you felt about lifetime commitments and you laughed.  You said you'd only consider it if...."

"If someone made me an.... offer I couldn't refuse."  Olivia finished for her.  The smile slowly fell from her face.  She swallowed hard when she noticed the serious look on her girlfriend's face.  Her heart started beating faster.

"Alex...."

Alex quickly placed her fingertips over Olivia's lips. "Shh...just let me do this...okay?”

Olivia simply nodded.

"Liv... I think I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you years ago.  I knew then that I was in big trouble...because I knew that I'd give up anything...do anything just to be with you."

Alex took a step back and reached into her coat pocket.  She pulled out a small velvet box.  Olivia held her breath as Alex placed the box in her hand.  

"Open it."

Olivia's hands were shaking so badly that Alex thought she would have to help her.  Finally, Olivia managed to open the box.  She gasped.  "Alex, it's... it's beautiful."

Inside was an antique silver ring with a blue stone in the center surrounded by what Olivia was sure were real diamonds. 

"It belonged to my Great-Grandmother.  It's been in my family for years.  My father gave it to me before he died."

Olivia shook her head.  "Alex, I...I can't take this.  This should stay in your family."

"But you have to.  You are my family."  Alex smiled nervously and took a deep breath.  "Christ!  This was a lot easier when I practiced on Mother."

Olivia looked at her completely lost which made Alex giggle.  She took another deep breath and continued.

"My father stood in this very spot and told my mother that he'd give up everything he had to be with her.  That was my father.  When he loved, he loved with his entire heart.  I've been told that I am my father's daughter in more ways than one.  Olivia... if I lost every single thing I had, I'd still be okay as long as I had you."

Olivia felt tears welling in her eyes as she listened to Alex pour out her heart to her.  Alex looked at her with eyes full of love. 

"In my heart... I'm already committed to you in every way possible.  I've felt that way for a long time.  But what I'm offering you goes beyond just commitment.  I'm not just asking you to share my life with me.  I'm inviting you to be my one and only lover, my very best friend, my most trusted confidante, my lifetime partner and soul-mate in every sense."    
  
Alex paused to wipe a stray tear away.  She looked at Olivia and smiled wistfully.  
  
"I'm offering you a lifetime of heated arguments and silly temper tantrums, along with the usual brutal honesty and charming wit.  So... what do you say?  Will you allow me to love you for the rest of my life?"

Olivia found herself smiling through her own tears.  "Wow.  Well, that is quite an offer, Counselor.  I can't imagine anyone refusing an offer like that."

"I'm not really concerned with anyone but you."

Olivia cupped Alex's face gently in her hands and smiled brighter than she had in her entire life.  "Yes."

"Yes?"  Alex had to be sure.

"Yes."  Olivia nodded.

"YES!!!"  Alex squealed and threw herself into Olivia's arms.  She placed kisses all over the laughing detective's face.   Olivia was laughing so hard that she nearly dropped the box. 

Finally more composed, Alex took a step back and took the ring from the box.  She took Olivia's hand and carefully slipped it on her finger.

The sound of a camera clicking in the background made them look up.  They both laughed at the sight.  Celine was busy taking pictures while Martha was giving her pointers while trying to hold on to her flask. 

Olivia turned back to her new fiancé and pulled her close.  She kissed the blonde deeply. 

After a need for air became an issue, they pulled back resting their foreheads together.  Alex smiled.  "Last chance to back out of being in this crazy family.”

“Not a chance.”

“Well…This makes it official.  You're  _my_  little woman now."

Olivia noticed how her blue eyes twinkled.  She knew the quick-minded attorney must have found out what the guys had been calling her. 

"Hmm.... I know I'm going to be teased mercilessly by the guys, but.... being Alexandra Cabot's wife for the next forty years is just too good to pass up."

"Wife...."  Alex said the word as if she hadn't thought of it.  She smiled realizing that she liked the way it sound rolling from her lips.  "I think I really like the sound of that..... but for only forty years?"

Olivia raised a brow.  "You think you can stand a longer sentence, Counselor?"

"I'd be willing to take life."  She kissed the sensitive spot on Olivia's neck.  "Besides, I plan to keep you in really good shape so that you're around for a long time, Detective."

Olivia moaned.  "Care to start the workout now?"

"Yes dear."

 _Did Alex Cabot just say yes dear to me_?  Olivia grinned.  "I'm beginning to love this marriage thing already.  Let's go."

Hours later, Alex switched her phone off and looked at Olivia who was sprawled out on the other end of the bed on her cell phone.

"Serena and Pearce said congratulations.  Pearce even offered to throw you a bachelorette party." 

Olivia laughed tossing her phone aside as well.  "So did Elliot and Fin.  But Fin said that he'd allow you to pick the stripper if that would make you feel better about it."

Alex shook her head.  "He is such a gentleman."  She shifted so that she was lying beside Olivia.  She glanced down just in time to see the light reflect off the ring.  She reached out and ran her fingers over it.  

"Any regrets?"  Olivia asked while watching her intently.

"Nope... not a single one.  You?"

Olivia shook her head.  "I know a good thing when I see it.  I guess you're just stuck with me now."

"That's what I was hoping for."  She climbed over and sat in Olivia's lap.  She leaned down and kissed her passionately.  "There was something else I was hoping for too."

Olivia grinned as she pulled Alex closer.  She rolled them over in one smooth motion.  "Now, how could I ever deny my wife-to-be anything?"

"You can't.... it'll be in the prenupt."  Alex teased.

"Why, you little!"

Alex's laughter could be heard throughout the room as Olivia gave her more than enough reasons to reconsider. 

Miles away, Serena handed the phone back to Pearce.  "I can't believe she actually did it.  She gave Liv the ring.... and Liv actually said yes."

"You say that like you're surprised."

Serena shrugged her shoulders.  "I don't know.  Neither of them ever seemed like the type to settle down."

"You mean they didn't seem like the type to settle down with other people.  They might not have fit with anyone else, but they're perfect for one another."

"Yeah. They are perfect for one another and I'm happy for them.  If anyone deserves to be happy, they do."

"I guess everything turned out alright after all, didn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You know.... I've got a bit of good news for you too."

Serena narrowed her eyes.  "What is it?"

"I spoke to my father earlier.  You can be released tomorrow."

Serena's face lit up.  "You wouldn't be kidding me, would you?"  
  
Pearce laughed.  "I wouldn't dare.  I know how badly you want out of here.  Although..... I will be a little sad to see you go."

"You don't want me to go home?"

Pearce shrugged.  "It's been nice being able to see you so much throughout my workday.  I'm going to miss having you around here.... even if you were a terrible patient."

Serena smiled.  "Well, if you haven't forgotten, you'll be seeing much more of me after I move in with you."  She grabbed the front of Pearce's shirt and pulled her closer.  "I'll be there waiting for you when you come home every night."

Pearce smirked then pulled out her cell phone.  Serena frowned.  "Who are you calling?"

"I'm calling Olivia and Alex.  They owe me for helping them move last year.  I need to get you moved in as soon as possible." 

Serena took the phone.  "Later...."  She planted a soft kiss on the doctor's lips.  "Right now...I think I need a thorough examination before I leave this place, Doctor."

Pearce grinned, tossing her phone aside as she leaned in for a kiss.  "Yes ma'am."  
  
**Fin**

 


End file.
